Zzzyx :D

Wow, it's been a while..... o.O
Life's been dandy, I guess. Still suffering from 3rd quarter depression, and man, did this week SUCK. My grades seemed to be slipping, a few of my friends denounced me as a "traitor", my social/love life was a messy time bomb waiting to explode, and in short: My life just seemed to be falling apart before my eyes. All I can say is: thank god for the weekend.
Most of my negative energy's been devoted to either piano or writing. Even if my English teacher says that my work is a load of crap, I'm still going to write. My novel's already at it's 43rd page of the second draft, and I'm not about to abandon it. I'm also working on a nocturne for my spring recital, I don't intend on walking up and looking like I can't play. I wouldn't call myself the next Beethoven, but I play pretty well. :D
In the past few months, I've found that I truly take joy in taking pictures and video of the people I love. I'm no filmmaker, but I find beauty in simple everyday moments of my life with friends. Who knows how much time I have left with them. I'm trying to take life as it comes, rolling with the punches. As Jack Dawson said in Titanic: "Life's one big poker game. You never know what hand you'll be dealt next."
~Mara

Nos Coeurs Sont Unis...

He makes my heart go aflutter
He causes my knees to go limp
He makes me lose control of what I say
He causes the hairs on the back of my neck to prick up in ecstasy
His scent stops me dead in my tracks, he smells of vanilla, spice, and pine
His step is light, but his presence is overwhelming
His legs are sleek and strong, but willing to dance with me
His body is slender, but strong enough to melt my heart
His chest is broad, but he allows me to fall asleep on it
His arms are powerful and mighty, but gentle enough to embrace me with
His hands are well-worked, but tender enough to pull back a wisp of my stray hair
His lips are soft when we kiss, yet strong when he speaks
His smile is warm and caring, but confident and brave as well
His eyes are like two glistening emeralds, but ablaze with passionate fire when gazing into mine
His hair is soft and smooth, yet wild and unpredictable
Whenever we touch, I feel a spark of joy shoot through my body
We are one
~Mara

生命は微風である (Life is a Breeze)

Good god, I haven't posted in a long time... Happy New Year? >_<>__> I love my friends...
I was just watching Titanic today, and I cried AGAIN. TTTTTTT_______TTTTTT It's just sooooo sad! I can't help it! Every time I see it, I hope that the ship won't sink, but it still does, and I always go "nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!" It's so depressing...
I still can't believe that four months have passed so quickly, time is just slipping through my hands like water. It feels like only yesterday that it was September 6, and I was scared senseless at the thought of entering a public school for the first time. Pretty soon, it'll be summer again, and I hope not to forgot everything I have learned. Being with my new friends in a new school, and being happy here, it just doesn't seem real. I've never felt this happy before, and I've never felt so alive. I don't remember the last time I ever had this much fun. Some roller coaster of life, eh? It feels like I'm in a gigantic dream. Well, this is one dream I hope that I never have to wake up from!
~Mara

Meep?

It's almost the end of December, and I have one thing to say: WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE SNOW!? It's like, bare here. It reminds me of winters in Denmark, and trust me, winter there is sucky. No snow in Wisconsin is like, messed up. Anyhoo, winter vacation reading is going okay, I'm already halfway done. Great Expectations is one of the most boring books I've read in ages. NEVER read it unless you are forced to at gunpoint.
A friend of mine says that she'll teach me Bulgarian. (Just to add to my randomness XD) And if you add that to my current language roster, you get:
English
Hebrew
Japanese
Spanish
Bulgarian
YAYZ! XD Sorry if I'm rambling a bit, I don't have much to say. ........GO DUCKS!.....
~Mara

Une Chose Originale... (One Original Thing)

As you can tell by the title, my latest language obsession is French. I've even changed my ipod settings to display everything in French.
I officially am a "Loozer with a capital 'C'" as my friend Melli would say. xD
My parents still won't let me buy a laptop with my Bat Mitzvah money, and I've run out of ideas. Eh, at least I have that babysitting job on Saturday night to get more cash for the "I need new shoes" fund. xD
I have a Facebook account now, so I can now keep in touch with old friends. I'm sure that some of them either:
Forgot me
Wanted to forget me
Remember me
XDDD
Winter break is fun, but I have to read 'Great Expectations.' Dickens is boring. Period. Meh, what more can I say? Life is life!
~Mara

Merri Kurismasu! *^_^*

Yes, it's that time again... Doesn't make much of a difference to me, considering the fact that I'm Jewish. We had Chinese takeout. >_>
But I have found a way to combat that dreaded 'D' from my math test. I got an 'A' on my last quiz, so if I pass another one, my grade will be brought up! I just gotta work hard!
I saw Pirates of the Caribbean for the first time. x_x Yes, I'm aware of how pathetic I am. I had never seen it, and didn't want to get into it merely because of the popularity. But now that the commotion has died down, and I've seen it, I found that it was quite a film to behold! I love Johnny Depp and Orlie, ~KYUU! XD
I was watching the Quill Awards (Like the Academy Awards, but for books) and Eldest won for 'Best Young Adult!' I was like "YEEEEAAAAHHAAAWWW!!" Paolini (the author/my inspiration) got up and gave his whole shpiel. Watching him talk onstage is really funny for me, because I got to meet him for an interview once, and he read to us in Dwarvish! xD
Naruto got 'Best Graphic Novel,' but seeing as I've never read it, I wasn't too thrilled.
Anyhoo, Happy Holidays, peace on earth and all that jazz. "Savvy?" XDD
~Mara

ほうき星 (Houkiboshi)

"My life is falling apart."
~Dennis, "Dennis The Menace"
I got a 'D' on that math test. Life sucks. T_T At least I can get the extra credit points. I got to see Eragon last Saturday, and I must say; OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! ~KYAAAA!!! XDDD Lol. I'm such a rapid fangirl. Life goes on, I've gotta go study for the World Studies test.
~Mara
P.S Is 'Forthwith' a real word?

落日の約束/Yuuhi no Yakusoku (Promise of the Setting Sun)

Lumière-Light;By Me, Mara

“My heart, my dear heart. What has happened to my heart? I feel an empty hole where my heart once was. I feel a dark sad feeling whenever my soul yearns to find it. I cannot feel, I cannot sense, I cannot comprehend the darkness I feel within me. It seems like a hand of evil has crushed my spirits, destroyed my heart, and left me here. Alone, all alone. I stand alone, facing the day ahead. I weep for what was my heart, and yet, I feel brightness on my face. Someone is shining a light upon me, their light. Their warmth engulfs me, despite my being an empty shell. I feel a renewed hope, and I promise that when I see that setting sun, I shall go on. This warmth shall be my guardian light, as long as hope ignites.”
~Mara

Kimi He

Like the new layout? The old one was getting a bit drab. >.> I'm getting sick of the whole Al Bhed thing, so I'm ditching it. I really think this whole high school thing isn't as hard as everyone says it is. I'm actually going to my first dance. ^_^ Yes, I know, but still, dances=fun. I gotta go study for that bio quiz, but here's a little something.

Sonnets from the Portuguese 43: How Do I Love Thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Uh yht Uh..

Cunno dryd ed'c paah cu muhk...
Vnetyo fyc y chuf tyo, cu E vehymmo ryja desa du fneda. Clruum'c kuehk ugyo, E kiacc. Ytzicdehk ryc paah ayco, yht dra dnyhcedeuh vnus banulreym clruum du bipmel clruum caasc mega y cemmo drehk du ryja funneat ypuid. E kiacc uin vaync yna fryd sygac ic faygahat, pid yd dra cysa desa ed ec fryd cdnahkdrahc ic. E cdemm caas du caa rec vyla ajanofrana E dinh. Ed ryihdc so tnaysc yht so jeceuh. E tuh'd ghuf fro, pid E lyh'd cryga rec sasuno uvv. E tuh'd ajah mega res, yht oad, E cdemm luhcdyhdmo drehg uv res. Ed dunsahdc sa palyica ed luhvicac sa. E fecr E luimt syga dra byeh cdub, E fecr E luimt ihtu ymm uv dra risemeydeuh dryd ullinat palyica uv draca asudeuhc uv seha. L'acd my jea, E kiacc.
~Syny

Rec Aoac...

From here on in, it's Al Behd only. To translate, got to: http://www.pixelscapes.com/twoflower/albhed.html

E cyf res ykyeh dutyo. Ed fyc uhmo vun y cbmed caluht, druikr. Uin aoac mulgat uhmo vun y susahd. Ed caasc dryd ra cfedlrat lmyccac, yht byccac sa eh dra rymmc yvdan raymdr, yht pavuna ymkapny. E hajan pnuikrd socamv du cbayg du res, hud yvdan fryd rybbahat. E gaab ycgehk socamv fro so raynd mehkanc uh res, fro ed cdemm caac rec vyla aylr hekrd. E lyh'd vulic frah ra'c uh so seht. E zicd caas du samd, yht oad, so raynd rindc frahajan E drehg uv res. Ed'c zicd cu luhvicehk. E tuh'd ihtancdyht fro so rayt lyh mad ed ku, pid hud so raynd. E vaam y byeh ehceta frahajan E caa res, pid E ymcu vaam so raynd kuehk "tuge-tuge" frah E caa rec vyla. E'ja raynt yfvim nisunc ypuid res, dra funcd uha cyoehk dryd ra csugat bud, pid E lyh'd pnehk socamv du pameaja ed. E fuh'd pameaja ed. Rec hysa ec y pinhehk funt uh so duhkia, rec vyla yh ela-lumt tacena eh so raynd. Pid fa lyh hajan pa, yht E sicd cdub vemmehk so rayt fedr cilr huhcahca. E sicd hud luhvica naymedo fedr emmiceuhc.
~Syny

Just Pinch Me...

I haven't had much time to post lately. I was thinking of him again..
"L'illusione-Illusions"
"The illusion of you is like being stuck in a loophole. No matter how much I seem to move on, I always end up where I started. It never stops. It's like your love, your face, your eyes, and your smile are carved into my heart. Always there, and never fades away. The illusion of you... So great, so strong, a force I could never control. Above all things, I try to break free. But I remain as a prisoner of this love. I'm bonded to you."
~Mara

(¡Los Nerds Tienen Sensaciones También!) Nerds Have Feelings Too!

According to my new Budist friend/yo-yo champ/Lord of the Rings fanatic, I'm a nerd. Go figure.
I've been doing okay in school, but it's a bit tough to be back after having spent so much time in synagogue last weekend. I manage, somehow. I've been passing my Spanish tests, my English requirements keep getting more and more complex, and the French Revolution is tougher than it looks. ~_~
Melli-san lent me a new manga, and I have another obsession; +Anima. It's uberly kawaii! ^_^ Not to mention that Grey's Anatomy is on tonight! D: ¿No es esto perfectamente asombroso? (Isn't this perfectly amazing?)
~Mara

生命は雌犬である (Life is a Bitch)

I got my math test back, and I have to make corrections if I want those five extra credit points. Maaaaaaan, I hate being responsible.... >.<
I felt like crap today after a full 25 hours of fasting, and none of the teachers were forgiving about it. They were all like "Gee, you've gotta wake up, girl!" I wanted to flatten their noses in so badly. At least we get to the good stuff now: pre-chemistry, French revolution, Spanish infinitives, balanced equations, sleep deprivation (health class), and "To Kill A Mockingbird." (Although I've already read it five times) I missed homecoming, but I don't really care. I heard that it was just a lot of making out, and dirty dancing to hip-hop crap. Frankly, I had more fun staying home and blowing up potatoes. D:
Life somehow slugs itself forward, as much as I want to hit a pause button. "Our mistakes make us better and blahblahblah..."
~Mara

I Just Need to Know; By Me, Mara
"If heaven cries, do tears fall from the sky? Do stars seem to fade, dimming after they're made? Why did you leave? Where did you go? Will you ever return?
I need to know...
I just want to know...
Can non-beating hearts feel pain? Are all our worries vain? How could you place yourself within me, only to leave me?
I need to know...
I just want to know...
Will my sorrows return you? Will my feelings reach you?
I need to know...
I just want to know..."
~Mara

I Will Be Your Wings...

"Let me be your wings, let me be your only love, let me take you far beyond the stars..."
~Thumbelina, 'Let Me Be Your Wings"
^----Me likey that movie. I'm a sap for "warm 'n fuzzy" films. ^_^

Today ROCKED, Three words:
Crazy...Hat Day...XDD
I wore my blue cowboy hat, and all the kids in health sang "Home on the Range" when I walked in, so I busted a move on my air-banjo! D:
The seniors wore togas, but at lunch my senior buddy stole meh hat! So I chased her around the cafeteria yelling: "GRAND THEFT HAT!!!" XP
Perhaps that's the reason people were avoiding me in the halls after lunch...
One my camera decides to be nice, I'll post pictures, but right now I have to go to beddy-bye.. =~_~=
~Mara

Noodle?

I had four tests, and three quizzes today. This year is officially hard. >.<
Tommorow is class dress-up day, and us Freshman are supposed to wear crazy hats. I wanted to wear a toga like the seniors, but they aren't letting me. T_T I'll just make do with my witch hat. D:
Mom and Dad are being evil. I can't go to homecoming dance because of "the atmosphere." They "don't like my attitude, and if it continues, they'll put me back in perchial school." Apparently, I've 'developed an attitude' while attending a public school. What [CENSORED] kind of attitude do I have besides being sugar-high? XD Ah well, I'll just have to lay low for a while. Parents can be such aliens...
~Mara

For Me?

I found a rose with an anonymous note attatched to it in my locker today:
"I tried to find a rose as pretty as you, but no flower compares to your beauty. I could search the ends of the earth, and never find one as fair as you."
SQUEE!! So romantic! ^_^ I tried to find out who sent it, but nobody seems to know. T_T I shall find them and make them mine! >o<
Besides that, life goes on: King Charles II, Metic conversions, Compound sentences, "me gusto/no me gusto," Lifestyle diseases, and graphing are just fragments of the information that the teachers are trying to cram into my tiny brain... >-<
Ah well, better go study for that bio test...
~Mara

Another Day in the Life...

Jewish fasting day, missed the bus, lost my phone, got hit by another backpack, I hate Mondays... T_T
We had a quiz in health class today, and I took the oppertunity to have a nice little nap. ~_~ Well, of course, the teacher caught me, and asked why I was sleeping. I simply said that I wasn't eating today, so I was a bit sleepy. The teacher gave me this lecture on anorexia in front of the entire class, and then sent me to see the school counseler/thearapist person. >.<
God, it's hard to be religious.
I also got twice the work to make up for the fact that it's homecoming, and they want us to "keep on top of things." I don't even think I'm going to the dance, because my parents "don't like the atmosphere." I'm definetely not going to be at the football game, because:
a) I hate football
b) 'Tis the Sabbath
I baked cookies, but they turned out all burned.. :'( Nobody wanted to eat them, so I ended up eating them all by myself... Maybe I can mail them to Kaz-Senpai, and call them Brownie-Thrax!
~Mara

Add the Sugar, Mix in the Eggs...

As you can see, I've been baking. This is the first time in, like, ever that anything I've baked/cooked has not:
A) Blown up
B) Blown up
c) Exploded
Above are the white-fudge, cranberry brownies I baked yesterday. I have a pumpkin spice cake in the oven as we speak.
Yumminess.
I got the math test back: 45/57 correct=C+. T_T The teacher is letting me get five points back if I do all this crappy extra work, but if it gives me a B, I'll lick the floor.
Anyhoo, because it is Rosh Hashanah this weekend, I'll be too busy repenting for my various sins to post. Life goes onwards...
"The doubt of future foes exiles my present joy,
And wit me warns to shun such snares as threaten mine annoy;
For falsehood now doth flow, and subjects' faith doth ebb,
Which should not be if reason ruled or wisdom weaved the web.
But clouds of joys untried do cloak aspiring minds,
Which turn to rain of late repent by changed course of winds.
The top of hope supposed the root upreared shall be,
And fruitless all their grafted guile, as shortly ye shall see.
The dazzled eyes with pride, which great ambition blinds,
Shall be unsealed by worthy wights whose foresight falsehood finds.
The daughter of debate that discord aye doth sow
Shall reap no gain where former rule still peace hath taught to know.
No foreign banished wight shall anchor in this port;
Our realm brooks not seditious sects, let them elsewhere resort.
My rusty sword through rest shall first his edge employ
To poll their tops that seek such change or gape for future joy."
-Queen Elizabeth I

~Mara