Yearbooks, Presentations, and Strawberries

What's Playing in My Ear:"Leavin"-Jesse McCartney
Ah, don't you love settling back into a school routine after four days away on a retreat? I don't.
I'm definitely going to fail my iSearch presentation later today considering I was too busy to practice my speech completely. Not to mention that I just found a bunch of errors in the final copy I turned in for about 150 points.
Fuck. I hate school.
At least I got my yearbook. I managed to come up with a better signature than last year:
You're as sweet as sugar
You're as sweet as honey
But when you're gone all summer,
Who will lend me money?
Nice poem, huh? It took me about ten minutes to come up with, but everyone loves it! Who knew that cheesy but cute poems made you a popular choice for a yearbook signature?
I was so excited about meeting other Jewish teens at the NCSY convention this week. My wish came true when I met this really cute guy at the NCSY convention who's funny, talented, and friendly, but he has a girlfriend. Story of my life.
I feel like strawberries. I know that's completely unrelated and random, but it's true. I want the strawberry patch I planted last summer to grow some berries that don't rot/grow too little/not ripen. Is that so much to ask of mother nature?!
I'm almost done with "The Mermaid Chair," which is about a married woman falling in love with a monk. How much more scandalous can you get? Wait, don't answer that...
We're also reading "Raptor Red" for Earth Science, but it's kind of like having one of those boring documentaries played on airplanes read out loud to you. I like PBS and National Geographic stuff, but this is ridiculous!
I'll just hang in tight until school is over.
Ten more days....ten more days....just ten more days....

Prayer of the Lost

There is nobody who talks about the light of that star in faraway places.
All of our prayers and all of our thoughts...
A simple melody.
Even if we try to place our wish in the sky with a lunar eclipse,
The incessant rain tore it apart.
A simple melody.

Carry our dreams, unknown butterfly!
Carry our love to a yet unfulfilled native land.
Oh, our butterfly, merely gazing into the wind.
Oh, again tonight, it will be a long night for your wings which cannot fly.
A simple melody,
A simple melody.

There is nobody who talks about the days of yore on this island.
All of our prayers and all of our anger...
A simple melody.
We tried to put our wish on a silver-colored ship,
The incessant sea tore it apart.
A simple melody.

Carry our dreams, unknown god!
Carry our love to a yet unfulfilled native land.
Oh, our people, merely staring into the wind.
Oh, again tonight, it will be a long night for the trapped souls.
A simple melody,
A simple melody.

Frustration at Friends

What's Playing in My Ear:"Feel So Faraway"-Seramyu
I completely forgot how hard it is to make a misanga with yarn. I usually use thread, but I ran out and only had this yarn. Geez, my fingers hurt now. In case you're wondering, a misanga is kind of like a friendship bracelet, and it is quite popular in Brazil and Japan. Look it up. I make them every year around this time for no particular reason. :D
Is it just me, or are all my friends asking each other out? You don't ask out your friends. That's why they are FRIENDS and not DATING POTENTIAL. Ew.
Okay, so yesterday we took a field trip to the police academy and court house. (I know what you're thinking, "high school field trips?" Yes. My life is awesome like that.) We got to sit in on all these cool cases and see police training. It was so worth missing hours 1-6.
I'm going to NCSY tomorrow night. I originally did not plan on going because none of my other friends were going, but one friend who I don't see very often said that she was going and wanted me to come. Naturally, I said I'd sign up to spend some time with her because nobody else I knew was going. That was two weeks ago. I get a phone call from my friend three days before the convention saying that she decided not to go. I'm already signed up, and I'm thinking "WHAT THE FUCK? I SIGN UP BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING, AND NOW YOU'RE STANDING ME UP? COME ON!"
I hate it when your friends ditch you.
So now I'm going to a convention where I don't know anybody. This hasn't happened since I was in fifth grade.
Shoot me. Please.
I'm off to go pack.

Love on the Tree-Lined Street

At the tree-lined street with young spring leaves
When I first saw that person
Something rang within my heart
Without thinking or moving, I watched him leave

During the summer that glowed with gold
He showed off his prefect somersault for me
At the tree-lined street of memories
We gazed at each other as the autumn days drifted by

But still, that person
Did not say a word to me
Even though I loved him so
More than my heart can express in words
He left me silently
My first love

Whirlpools, Freud, and Typing

What's Playing In My Ear:"Shining!"-Chieco Kawabe

Apparently, I need to stop typing with the two-finger system. First dad comments on it, then my business law teacher, and now my friend. It's not my fault I never had time in my schedule for keyboarding class! I got a program for learning proper typing for a holiday gift a few years back, but I never quite liked typing with both hands, it was too hard and too slow. GAWD.
Since mum is away, I have been busier than ever, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the monsters I call my little siblings. Being mommy is no fun. X_X
Good news is: I got signed up for the NCSY convention. Bad news is: Dad said that I cannot attend unless I clean my room. Thanks for treating my like a 10-year old, Pops. >_>
The whole later-nighter deal that I went through earlier in the weak is starting to kick in. I fell asleep in Psychology yesterday, but it's okay because it was a stupid boring PBS video about Freud, and FREUD WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS NOODLE. I justify my falling asleep to that. :D
I had the weirdest dream last night: I was on a rock in the middle of an endless ocean, and the ocean had whirlpools on every part, so if you touched it, you would be dead meat. I saw my dad standing on a rock a few feet away, telling me to jump to his rock. I try to to jump, and as I fall into the water, I wake screaming. I have never been so scared before, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. It all felt so real and somehow I couldn't tell it was merely a dream. Maybe it means I need more sleep. Maybe Freud is taking revenge on me for not watching the video about his crazy theories.
Eye Dee Kay. :D

Missing Mama

Erik: Ling Ling, you're a panda.
Me: I am not a panda, pandas are fat.
Erik: Okay, you're a skinny panda.
...and that's how my mornings start. Third hour business law: gotta love it!
I actually finished that gigantic iSearch paper, but I sacrificed my sleep and sanity for it. The things I will do for a good grade....
Mum arrived in Denmark alright this morning, which means that I am the new offical chef/babysitter/maid for a while. I hope she did not expect to come home to find the house as she left it. X_x I miss mama.
Considering I have nothing much to say, and my little brother is nagging me for the computer, I will go do some laundry...

Nightmare Dance

A sweet fragrance is being sown in sleep.
The color of strong poison is vivid.
Going astray, it forgets that it cannot escape.
The inner dream is sending pheromones,
showing the raise of a nightmare.

Transformations of dreams and crisis are unrestricted.
Coming and going,
They print our past and future.
Seeking and looking,
They see a person's heart: manipulated and bound.

A sweet fragrance is being sown in sleep.
The impression of bad poison is firm.
In addition to wanting a one-time failure,
it becomes the remain of stamen.
Filling up with pheromones,
showing the raise of a nightmare.

Nightmare
Nightmare
Nightmare...

Mother's Day and Mucho Problems (RANT TIME!)

What's Playing In My Ear: "Time Machine" by The Click Five
I'm finding out the inevitable truth: school sucks.
I spent a month working on a my iSearch paper just to find that I have to redo the entire thing from the beginning. Oh, and did I mention that I only have about a day to do it?
Someone shoot me. Please.
Other than that, this weekend was spent with grandma and mum, putting up with their "fascinating" commentary on why I'm not girly enough and need to be more feminine.
Grandma: Sweetheart, you have a boy's figure.
Me: Grandma, DID YOU NOT SEE THE BOOBS?
Mom: But you dress like a 17 year-old boy when you're a 16 year-old girl!
Me: ...and?
Mom and Grandma: STOP IT! WE DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO BE A Y-CHROMOSOMED CAVEMAN!
Thanks guys. I like Grey's Anatomy, isn't that girly enough for you? Puh-leeeeaze.
At least I have the NCSY convention to look forward to next week, although I feel guilty that the only convention I ever have time for is the last one. >_> I can't wait to see all my peeps, though!
I haven't added anything to my novel in three months. THREE WHOLE EFFING MONTHS! Not a page, not a paragraph, not even a word! That's a long time to go without writing anything. The problem is a lack of time, a lack of interest, a lack of inspiration, or a combination of the three.
Oh, and I accidentally wrote my entire Earth Science Lab in Danish/Spanish/Hebrew, which means I am not getting sufficient sleep. Gosh darnit.
Can't I do anything correctly anymore?
Where be my time machine? I'm going back to where everything made sense in my life.

Eyes For The Moon

We make quarreling voices, once again I mumble in the night
I've lost my singing voice, I'm fading away

Demons from the reverse side of kindness are beckoning me
I didn't have a single intention of hurting you

On this street corner I can't get used to
I crouched at my tears' whereabouts

I held up in my arms a mirage of
A face suited to smile
For no reason, I felt I could protect you
Back then

EYES FOR THE MOON

From here I'm walking all alone
We can't be together anymore
I can't wait for tomorrow

Now I know they won't come true
These illusions people named dreams

What I broke must've been our memories and your heart...
If I could turn back the clock needle just a little
Was I beside you..

The noise of the night disgraces me
Your sweet voice
The guardrail, a sight in this town, Ah just once more
I want to see you I want to see you

I'm enchanted by this mirage
Pretending to be blind to these wounds
I have to forget, I can't forget, I wish

I held up in my arms a mirage of
A face suited to smile
For no reason, I felt I could protect you
Back then

EYES FOR THE MOON

New Colors

Another flower petal gets torn off again,
Because I don't have the power to stop the wind,
It floats to the opposite bank where you broke down in tears
As my only farewell gift
It's alright if you forget the promise we made that day

I walk a single step past this love
Why is everything tore off like this
A trail of stardust streams down again
Because I don't have the power to stop time
Don't lift up prayers, only one will do
It's alright if you wish for your own happiness

I allowed a pain of the same color
I blame it on mistakes of a different color
A light of that same color burns
Hiding a door of another color

Now, for your sake, a faded flower falls down
Now, for your sake, a faded star falls down
In that dream, good night

One more spoon in this unfillable love
Why does everything drive me mad like this
I feel a squall coming down on me on the streetcorner
Because there's no umbrella to protect from wounds
Don't look for ways out, only one will do
It's alright if you search for your own happiness

I engrave with a rhythm of the same color
I erase footsteps of a different color
I draw a scenery of that same color
And locked up a season of another color

Now, for your sake, a faded night comes to an end
Now, for your sake, a morning of a new color will come
In that dream, good night

SWEET DREAMS, BABY
SWEET DREAMS, BABY

If someday we meet again somewhere
Would we start over? Is there a place to continue from?
We outdistanced the times we couldn't reset
Don't cry, kindness and weaknesses are not the same thing

I allowed a pain of the same color
I blame it on mistakes of a different color
A light of that same color burns
Hiding a door of another color

Now, for your sake, a flower of a new color blooms
Now, for your sake, a star of a new color falls down
In that dream, good night
SWEET DREAMS, BABY
SWEET DREAMS, BABY