A World To Believe In

I've seen the tears and the heartache
And I've felt the pain
I've seen the hatred
And so many lives lost in vain

And yet through this darkness
There's always a light that shines through
And takes me back home
Takes me back home

No matter what exists
beyond that tall wall
I don't want to run away
I'll continue to walk onward
and won't forget

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
For the sake of love
I can become stronger
as long as you are here

When it looked like
my heart would overflow with tears
If I noticed, I was never alone
Even on the windy days
Even on the rainy days

And I see for one fleeting moment
A paradise under the sun
I drift away
And I make my way back to you
I won't forget

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
No matter how many times it takes
It can be redone
as long as there is a tomorrow

Every time people are hurt
the truth is that they'll be brought
closer to an important answer

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
For the sake of love
I can become stronger
as long as you are here

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
No matter how many times it takes
It can be redone
as long as there is a tomorrow

As long as you're here with me
As long as you're here with me

Let's keep on living

Keep The Faith

Before, you were speaking selfishly, but
Here, you know baby, there was a place you could belong
It's possible to be hurt even when you can say what you believe, so
quietly, you traveled in search of kindness
Now, you're crouching here, resting your tired wings

No, No, No! You show me the faith
I'll definitely keep it for you
Alone, we'll lose sight of tomorrow, so
We'll shout this out loud so keep the faith

With no enemies, and no impossibilities
We'll fly on in high gear, and fuel on the flames
We'll slip out of these boring days
It's a solid promise so keep the faith

In a town full of mistakes,
don't be afraid if something tries to change you,
what's in your heart can't be altered
Burdened by words that weren't said, and pain that won't fade,
the fake smile is firmly in place

No, No, No! You show me the faith
I'll definitely keep it for you
we'll keep a light shining for you,
so don't cry alone, Keep the faith

Even if my voice is far away, my heart is here in this place
We dream, and we fall down, but get right back up
We're going to bet it all on this so keep the faith

Everyone pretends that they don't see anything, and they hurt you
You can feel me nearby, can't you? I'll rescue you out from there

That's why, close to you...

"Sweetie."

No, No, No! You show me the faith
I'll definitely keep it for you
Alone, we'll lose sight of tomorrow, so
We'll shout this out loud so keep the faith

With no enemies, and no impossibilities
We'll fly on in high gear, and fuel on the flames
We'll slip out of these boring days
It's a solid promise so keep the faith

We dream, and we fall down, but get right back up
We're going to bet it all on this so keep the faith!

Happiness

Yeah, yeah, yeah....

Rather than grieving in the headwind,
if we imagine all will go well, someday times will change.

When we're engrossed in living and with trivial matters,
when we falter in painful love, we have to stand up again each time.

If we think of the comings and goings of memories, it is too lonely.
Because an exciting future is sure to be waiting over there for us.

Start running, start running, let's go and welcome tomorrow.
Let me hear your voice, I feel it all.
Don't stop, don't stop, these feelings move me now.
No matter how small the hope may be, it is just my one and only happiness.

Even the feelings of tears cannot be put into words,
because it's alright not to worry about certain things.
What color is the rainbow of happiness?

When we find the answer, we'll have accumulated more memories.
From here we can progress without fear to a new place.

'Till far away, 'till far away, the path leads on forever.
Let me hear you speak, I'll always stay beside you.
Don't stop, don't stop, I believe in these feelings.
The hope may not have a name yet, but it is just my one happiness.

Start running, start running, let's go and welcome tomorrow.
Let me hear your voice, I feel it all.
Don't stop, don't stop, these feelings move me now.
No matter how small the hope may be, it is just my one and only happiness.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, YEAH!

You're My Jewelry

The shine in your eyes,
is like a gem in the twinkling stars.
Staring into those eyes,
the whole world is enchanted.

What I am saying is "I love you,"
the meaning is the same.
Your flattering words put me in a trance,
why don't you kiss me?

Baby, come to me.
I love you, only you.
Hear me, only me.
You're my jewelry.

But even a jewel grows hazy,
your sweet charm does not.
Even a huge diamond,
is mere foil in comparison to you.

Tell me more and more,
continue your pleasant words.
Your whisperings make me feel like royalty,
Why don't you kiss me?

Baby, come to me.
I love you, only you.
Hear me, only me.
You're my jewelry.

You're my jewelry.

Summer Blues

How can this phone not be love at first sight?

What's Playing In My Ear:"Iris"-The Goo Goo Dolls

Summer flies by like water falling through my cupped hands. How I wish that I could save these moments forever. SUMMER, SLOW DOWN, DAMMIT!
I attended my first Sweet Sixteen party, and it turned out much more fun than I expected. I got a few looks from some guys, saw my friends, and found out that I have an inner hillbilly just itching to get out (I won the hoe-down contest). The only things that bugged me were:
A) I kept getting hit on by this one friend of mine
B) My hair went from straight to curly in just an hour of dancing
I also had my first slow-dance, but it was just with a friend. I don't like him or anything, it was kind of funny, actually.
My parents finally gave in and got me a new phone.....WITH TEXTING!!!!!! LG RUMOR, silver and green, camera, full keyboard, bluetooth, fun ringtones, and to top it off, I found a 1GB memory card for $9.95 to boot!
High phone bills, here I come.
I have actually been texting quite a bit, seeing as I strained a ligament in my foot this past weekend. I spent my last day with advil, ice, a footrest, and a marathon of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager."
Worst Acting EVER.
At least I had a chance to catch up on my writing. I'm almost done with chapter twelve, where a lot of drama takes place. This summer has really been good to my fans. :D
I'm not quite sure what's been bothering me lately, but I have been feeling a bit blue. Maybe it's because last week I was constantly with my friends, but now I've spent most of this week by myself. I guess I just got a bit lonely is all, I mean, when you're off your feet it's tough to socialize. I used the opportunity to clean my room and finish reading this really interesting book called "Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Muslim Women." Now I'm reading "Queste," the latest "Septimus Heap" series book.
Maybe I need to meditate or something similar to divert my bad energy. Or I could cook, and by "cook" I mean "attempt to prepare some kind of food and end up causing an explosion."
Yeah, let's stick to meditation or Tai Chi.
Well, I'm off to change my Ace bandage, don't wait up for me. I'll be here....alone....
Damn, I need crutches or something to get me out of the house.

One Love

There were times when we wanted to say something,
but could not.
And there were times when we wanted to be honest,
but could not.
We have overcome those tearful seasons,
and now we shine so bright.
The images of happiness we have painted overlap,
to become one great love.
Let's live together always.

Even a hundred years from now, I will swear my love.
You are everything to me.
Believing in you, just believing in you.
The one I will share both good and bad times with.

No matter what you are,
No matter what I am,
Every part of us is precious to me.
As long as I have you,
I need nothing more.
I know we will be happy.

I waited for you in the rain,
not even knowing the meaning of kindness.
A misunderstanding caused us pain that night,
But still,
We have made it this far.
One invaluable encounter set off a chain of miracles,
our memories build upon each other.
The song of a new beginning echoes.

To the friends who laughed, cried, and supported us,
no matter what happened,
I can only say one thing to you now.
From the bottom of my heart is: "thank you."

Even a hundred years from now, I will swear my love.
You are everything to me.
Believing in you, just believing in you.
Let's make a promise in the tomorrow we will share.

You are the one and only person I chose,
in this whole world.
As long as I have you,
whatever future I have,
any future with you will be a shining one.

Self-Discoveries, Hair Dye, and Creepy Batman Nerds

What's Playing In My Ear:"Kitto Daijobu"-Arashi

I spent my entire day filling in as a camp counselor for my sister's bunk.
Now I remember why I decided not to work there again.
I am exhausted and cannot feel my toes. It is not that I do not enjoy spending my time chasing after a bunch of screaming miscreants, I just thought that this summer would be devoted to ME, and ME alone. So much for that brilliant plan...
Although I did not dress up as The Joker after all, The Dark Knight was AWESOME. As well as it being an awesome movie, it was even better seeing it at midnight with all of the local Batman nerds and virtually every teen in the city. The only disturbing part was getting hit on by a guy through one of his girl-pals sitting behind us. The conversation went as follows:
Girl: Hey, how old are you?
Me: Um, excuse me?
Girl: Yeah, the guy behind me wants to know so he doesn't become a pedifile when he buys you a soda.
Me: X_x
Batman nerds are SCARY PEOPLE. PERIOD.
Besides for the fact that I was nearly scarred for life, I believe that without a doubt it is the best movie of the year. There were at least four points in the movie where I thought it was over, but some sudden twist turned up making everything even cooler! I did not like Rachel's character in this one though, I was actually happy when she died. Heath Ledger was by far the creepiest man I have ever seen act in a role like this. No wonder people think this role killed him. SO what have we learned?
Christian Bale=WIN
Batman nerds=creepy sex fiends
Midnight movie releases=worth every penny
I am super-psyched that all my friends will finally be home for a good portion of the summer holidays! This summer has been considerably lonely, but I have gotten some quality time alone, something I really needed after this school year.
Well, I am on chapter twelve of my novel, getting the real story underway. Exciting, I know. I just wish that I had more time and inspiration for my work. I get writer's block quite often these days.
I just found my new favorite drama: Bambino! Bambino! is about a young guy from Hakata named Ban Shogo who leaves everything behind, dropping out of college and breaking up with his fiancée in dreams of becoming a professional Italian chef in the Baccanale fine restaurant of Tokyo. Ban Shogo is played by the über-hottie from Arashi, Jun Matsumoto, which is how I found out about it in the first place. This drama envokes tears, laughter, and makes you really re-evaluate people's lives and dreams. I think you should get off your butt and head over to crunchyroll and watch it!
I have been thinking of some kind of drastic change to apply to myself. This year has really been about self-discovery for me, and I think that I am finally learning about myself and finding out what kind of person I want to become. I feel that I have really grown this year, and especially over this summer. I want to find some kind of way to reflect the changes and express how I feel about the future. I also really want to surprise everyone when school starts again. I thought of cutting my hair, but I do not really want to part with my hair. Maybe dye it? Perhaps I need some other drastic surprise... Any ideas?
Well, I need to go back to the piano. If I want to get any better, I have to put in the time. At this point, it is a rivalry between my older brother and myself, as it has been since I was born. HUZZAH!

Verano Nights and Summer Días

What's Playing In My Ear:"PEACH"-Ai Otsuka

Anthony Bourdain's new season of No Reservations is on. I have only one thought: hell yes! This season, Tony seems a lot more loose, serious, and less sarcastic because he visits a lot of countries that have suffered immensly through hard times, like Laos, Columbia, and Saudi Arabia. Looks like this summer is not turning out so bad after all.
I am still looking to get my hands on a copy of New Moon before my friend spoils the entire book for me. Gawd, why must I wait for 45 other people on a library waiting list? I WANT MY VAMPIRES AND I WANT THEM NOW!
Because of all the free time and newly-found inspiration, I am writing my novel on a faster scale than ever before. Chapter 11 has just reached the meat of its plot, and this part is essential to everything that comes after. At this rate, I will finish the book before you know it.
Life is good.
I added Michelle Kwan to my "Skating Wall of Fame" last night. For those of you who are unaware, I am an avid fan of speed skating and figure skating. My favorite skaters end up on the wall over my bed at some point, hence "Skating Wall of Fame." At the moment, I have a Daisuke Takahashi collage that I made on the computer, an autographed photo of Casey Fitz, a Time Magazine article on Joey Cheek, and book clippings of Michelle Kwan. Now I need something of Apollo Anton Ono to add, and all will be well.
I want to get the 2008-2009 Arashi calendar, but....
1) No tengo una tarjeta de credito (ain't got no credit card)
2) No tengo dinero (ain't got no money) T_T
I need to get a job. FAST.
I will just have to settle for half-assed scans of the calendar that fellow rabid fangirls have distributed throughout the internet. Arashi goodness here I come!
I wish I could have traveled somewhere this summer. Everyone seems to have gone somewhere fun but me. Mum wants me to go on an NCSY service program to help children in Ukraine and Poland next summer, but I do not work well with kids, as last summer illustrated quite blatently. I do not even think that we will be able to go to Ocean City again, due to various reasons.
I will just have to settle for a bike ride to Cedarburg.
I have two friends right now who are currently not speaking to each other, and it just pisses me off. I hate getting caught in the middle of situations like these because I refuse to take sides, especially when both sides are acting just plain childish. KISS AND MAKE UP PEOPLE, IT IS NOT HARD!
I am still working on a costume to wear to the Batman opening on Thursday. Someone suggested I go as The Joker, which would be easy if I could find myself some face paint. Would I even look alright as a demonic clown? Heath Ledger did...
Clowns are creepy. 'Nuff said.
Time to go get scary.

A Storm's A Coming...

Xiu Yi!!!!! <3

What's Playing In My Ear:"Zen Me Ban"-S.H.E
Man, this is the cruddiest summer weather I have seen since that July blizzard in Colorado back in...wait, did Colorado ever have a blizzard in July? Scratch that. This is the worst summer weather I can ever remember.
It was extremely hot and humid this morning, and my mum called eight times from Chicago to remind me to water her plants. I dragged out of bed, feeling extremely tired and groggy from four hours of sleep, and proceeded to water ALL of the plants. Mind you, my mother is the biggest green thumb you will ever meet. Not twenty minutes after I water each and every freaking green flower and herb, it RAINS. All that work for NOTHING.
I hate my life.
Yeah, mum and her friend ditched me and went off for a fun time in Chicago leaving me to rot. I did not want to hang out with them or anything considering I age thirty five years for every ten minutes I spend with them, but it was a bit of an insult not to be invited. So I spent the entire day alone with no transportation because my bike's busted and I cannot exactly drive yet and no destination had I gotten a ride because Mequon sucks.
Mum was complaining: "Why didn't you go on an NCSY trip? I talked to Mrs.(insert mum's boring/cooking-obsessed friend's name here) and she says that her daughters are having a great time!" When I showed mum the pamphlet in January, when you SIGN UP, she said no to every program that they offered. Way to go mum.
This is the suckiest summer yet.
At least I got some more writing time in because of all the spare quiet time I get to myself nowadays. I am almost done with my first notebook (about 54 pages), which is a major milestone.
Maybe I will get some cooking done, I have been dying to try making onigiri again with my new and improved technique. This involves RINSING the rice so it does not become another rice-snowball incident. If not onigiri, I might just make some soups or something.
Gawd, I feel so domestic. Yuck.
ZOMG. The Taiwanese Hana-Kimi drama was totally awesome! I finally watched the whole series, and laughed my guts out! It got posted on YouTube, so I watched the whole thing from my iPod Touch. I enjoyed it so much, I stayed up until about 4 AM for the past few weeks just so I could squeeze in another episode. I hope that the legal issues regarding the filming of a second season get settled soon, because the end just kind of left ends hanging. Xiu Yi and Dao Xou were hysterical, I just couldn't get enough of them. And Quan.....@_@ Dreaaaaaamy.
Now that my girly rant is over, I'm off to paint unicorns and have a tea party in a frilly pink dress. Hopefully I'll remember to tack up the Arashi posters in my room. :3

Lazy Summer Days and Arashi

What's Playing in My Ear:"One Love"-Arashi
W00ts for a new summer layout! All the pale colors were making me feel sick. It's time for some new fresh colors and fonts! What do you think of the new design?
Geez, the summer is flying by fast... MAKE IT GO SLOWER!!!!
Well, my computer finally kicked the bucket. The hard drive failed, therefore I have lost everything that wasn't backed up. So that means that my music and photos are safe, but everything else is gone forever T_T
Why me?
Well, I took it as a chance to clean up my junk and start over fresh, and by that I mean....OVERLOADING MY REPAIRED HARD DRIVE WITH ARASHI! I'm talking much more than a few Mp3s...
about 66 songs, including limited release albums
12 music videos
50 avatars
20 wallpapers
over 100 magazine scans
and and entire piano book scan
Obsessed? Maybe. Happy? Definitely. :D
I'm still adjusting to life with my brother. It's weird to have an older brother living abroad for four years, and then he magically reappears. The idea is taking some getting used to, especially since he hogs the computer/TV, empties the fridge, and brings that teenage guy stink to my house. I swear, you could bottle that smell, sell it as insect repellent, and make a fortune!
Since school has let out, I've been working on that novel like never before. I've added two whole chapters and started typing an edited archive version for my portable drive. Since I'm not working or traveling at the moment, I get a lot of time to myself to work on the book. I just wished I'd spend more typing properly or practicing piano, but I'm so lazyyyyyyyy. :D
Speaking of which, Mum signed me up for summer lessons, so I'd better get some practicing in before Nathalie decides to hog the piano.

In Memorium of Miyuki Kanbe (1984-2008)

My dear sweet angel
now you sleep
You can be at peace
but this loss is deep

Youth is short
so it seems to be
And yours was cut
you left us breathlessly

And now you rest
you have left us here
Where you are now
there's no need for fear

Your talent inspired us
you made us laugh and cry
We will surely miss you
it's time to say goodbye

We will remember the happiness you brought
we will always see your smiling face
The joy, and laughter you radiated
You're in a better place

Your pain is gone
You wings can soar high
We will remember you always
You will never truly die

Vacation

Come on, come on come on
Let's go!
Come on, come on come on
Let's go!
Come on, come on come on
Let's go!
Come on, come on
Let's go!

Vacation
Need a little sun to break up all the frustration
And turn it into love
Ain't nobody gonna tell us what we gonna do because today it's up to you
Temptation comin' up to me
A little relaxation and I'll be great to be
Come on and weeky weeky loo
It's gonna start now
Kick it back, kick it back, kick it back to the track
Kick it back, kick it back, kick it back to the track

Vacation's where I wanna be
Party on the beach where the fun is free
We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate
'Cause I need a break, I need a vacation

Vibrations
Need to get me some and drive out all my complications
And turn them into love
Ain't nobody gonna tell us where we gonna be
Because today, today it's you and me

Vacation's what I wanna do
Party on the beach, fun for me and you
We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate
Repeat after me "I need a vacation."

Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go!
I wanna be where the fun is free
So come with me

Vacation's where I wanna be
Party on the beach where the fun is free
We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate
'Cause I need a break, I need a vacation

Carmel Love Song

A slice of the red-dyed afternoon
Framed by the square window
It's growing dark, the day is ending
Tomorrow is the day you leave

Tenderness always brings loneliness with it
For the moment, let me close my eyes
Against the countless memories

You'll always be my treasure
It's funny how much I love you
If it means you'll smile someday
I'll wave goodbye from the bottom of my heart

From the veranda, I watched
The lights go on in the little street
A vapor trail drifts by
Is it because of my sigh?

If I put it in words, it'll probably bother you a bit
If I stand close and touch your hand, will you be able to feel it?
"Goodbye"

In our tightly held hands
The dream we believed in begins to move
I'll never forget you
The sweet evening sky begins to melt

You reach out your hand
Before the dusk
And try to catch the stars
Drawing nearer...
The truth is, I never want to let you go

You'll always be my treasure
It's funny how much I love you
If it means you'll smile someday
I'll wave goodbye from the bottom of my heart

And Believe in All

Like light turned toward a mirror
hate will soon splash back onto yourself
There is no loss or victory in terms of love
Gentleness should be seen as a strength,
not a weakness

So believe in love, let's try to believe
And believe in all, in this moment
because we're all living in the same era

So believe in love, let's try to love
And believe in all, everyone is allied
while looking up at the same starry sky

So believe in love, let's try to believe
And believe in all, in this moment
because we're all living in the same era

Anticipation

What's Playing in My Ear:"Orlean no Sei Senshi~Uranus to Neptune no Uragi"-SeraMyu
One more week, one more week. I ONLY HAVE TO SURVIVE MAKE IT FOR ONE MORE WEEK!
The last week is always the longest and more difficult portion of the school year for me. I'm just not a very patient person. I'm kind of worried about the fact that Shavuot falls on my first exam day, and I'm not too fond of rescheduling my exams. My teachers are nice enough, I'll find a way.
I still have not decided what to do this summer; I got offers to spend some time volunteering in Sweden/Italy, but my Aunt's relatives want me to go stay with them in Israel, and CGI still wants me to go be a camp counselor again. Decisions, decisions...
I took my siblings to go see "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" yesterday. It was a bit different from the book, and much darker than the previous film. Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian=yummy. Me likey. :D
I finally finished all of the books I've been reading for both pleasure and for school assignments, and now I have nothing to read. Any suggestions? I like all sorts of books, but mostly fantasy, romance, and historical fiction. Mum's been raving about this book involving Tsar Nicholas II, so I might end up swiping her copy.

I FINALLY wrote some more in my novel today! I got two pages done because I just got so freaking bored on account of our power being out. Using candles to light up the house must've kick-started some inspiration in my brain's creative center. I wrote two pages and I'm pretty happy with myself. Excuse me whilst I commence with my happy dance.

Yearbooks, Presentations, and Strawberries

What's Playing in My Ear:"Leavin"-Jesse McCartney
Ah, don't you love settling back into a school routine after four days away on a retreat? I don't.
I'm definitely going to fail my iSearch presentation later today considering I was too busy to practice my speech completely. Not to mention that I just found a bunch of errors in the final copy I turned in for about 150 points.
Fuck. I hate school.
At least I got my yearbook. I managed to come up with a better signature than last year:
You're as sweet as sugar
You're as sweet as honey
But when you're gone all summer,
Who will lend me money?
Nice poem, huh? It took me about ten minutes to come up with, but everyone loves it! Who knew that cheesy but cute poems made you a popular choice for a yearbook signature?
I was so excited about meeting other Jewish teens at the NCSY convention this week. My wish came true when I met this really cute guy at the NCSY convention who's funny, talented, and friendly, but he has a girlfriend. Story of my life.
I feel like strawberries. I know that's completely unrelated and random, but it's true. I want the strawberry patch I planted last summer to grow some berries that don't rot/grow too little/not ripen. Is that so much to ask of mother nature?!
I'm almost done with "The Mermaid Chair," which is about a married woman falling in love with a monk. How much more scandalous can you get? Wait, don't answer that...
We're also reading "Raptor Red" for Earth Science, but it's kind of like having one of those boring documentaries played on airplanes read out loud to you. I like PBS and National Geographic stuff, but this is ridiculous!
I'll just hang in tight until school is over.
Ten more days....ten more days....just ten more days....

Prayer of the Lost

There is nobody who talks about the light of that star in faraway places.
All of our prayers and all of our thoughts...
A simple melody.
Even if we try to place our wish in the sky with a lunar eclipse,
The incessant rain tore it apart.
A simple melody.

Carry our dreams, unknown butterfly!
Carry our love to a yet unfulfilled native land.
Oh, our butterfly, merely gazing into the wind.
Oh, again tonight, it will be a long night for your wings which cannot fly.
A simple melody,
A simple melody.

There is nobody who talks about the days of yore on this island.
All of our prayers and all of our anger...
A simple melody.
We tried to put our wish on a silver-colored ship,
The incessant sea tore it apart.
A simple melody.

Carry our dreams, unknown god!
Carry our love to a yet unfulfilled native land.
Oh, our people, merely staring into the wind.
Oh, again tonight, it will be a long night for the trapped souls.
A simple melody,
A simple melody.

Frustration at Friends

What's Playing in My Ear:"Feel So Faraway"-Seramyu
I completely forgot how hard it is to make a misanga with yarn. I usually use thread, but I ran out and only had this yarn. Geez, my fingers hurt now. In case you're wondering, a misanga is kind of like a friendship bracelet, and it is quite popular in Brazil and Japan. Look it up. I make them every year around this time for no particular reason. :D
Is it just me, or are all my friends asking each other out? You don't ask out your friends. That's why they are FRIENDS and not DATING POTENTIAL. Ew.
Okay, so yesterday we took a field trip to the police academy and court house. (I know what you're thinking, "high school field trips?" Yes. My life is awesome like that.) We got to sit in on all these cool cases and see police training. It was so worth missing hours 1-6.
I'm going to NCSY tomorrow night. I originally did not plan on going because none of my other friends were going, but one friend who I don't see very often said that she was going and wanted me to come. Naturally, I said I'd sign up to spend some time with her because nobody else I knew was going. That was two weeks ago. I get a phone call from my friend three days before the convention saying that she decided not to go. I'm already signed up, and I'm thinking "WHAT THE FUCK? I SIGN UP BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING, AND NOW YOU'RE STANDING ME UP? COME ON!"
I hate it when your friends ditch you.
So now I'm going to a convention where I don't know anybody. This hasn't happened since I was in fifth grade.
Shoot me. Please.
I'm off to go pack.

Love on the Tree-Lined Street

At the tree-lined street with young spring leaves
When I first saw that person
Something rang within my heart
Without thinking or moving, I watched him leave

During the summer that glowed with gold
He showed off his prefect somersault for me
At the tree-lined street of memories
We gazed at each other as the autumn days drifted by

But still, that person
Did not say a word to me
Even though I loved him so
More than my heart can express in words
He left me silently
My first love

Whirlpools, Freud, and Typing

What's Playing In My Ear:"Shining!"-Chieco Kawabe

Apparently, I need to stop typing with the two-finger system. First dad comments on it, then my business law teacher, and now my friend. It's not my fault I never had time in my schedule for keyboarding class! I got a program for learning proper typing for a holiday gift a few years back, but I never quite liked typing with both hands, it was too hard and too slow. GAWD.
Since mum is away, I have been busier than ever, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the monsters I call my little siblings. Being mommy is no fun. X_X
Good news is: I got signed up for the NCSY convention. Bad news is: Dad said that I cannot attend unless I clean my room. Thanks for treating my like a 10-year old, Pops. >_>
The whole later-nighter deal that I went through earlier in the weak is starting to kick in. I fell asleep in Psychology yesterday, but it's okay because it was a stupid boring PBS video about Freud, and FREUD WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS NOODLE. I justify my falling asleep to that. :D
I had the weirdest dream last night: I was on a rock in the middle of an endless ocean, and the ocean had whirlpools on every part, so if you touched it, you would be dead meat. I saw my dad standing on a rock a few feet away, telling me to jump to his rock. I try to to jump, and as I fall into the water, I wake screaming. I have never been so scared before, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. It all felt so real and somehow I couldn't tell it was merely a dream. Maybe it means I need more sleep. Maybe Freud is taking revenge on me for not watching the video about his crazy theories.
Eye Dee Kay. :D

Missing Mama

Erik: Ling Ling, you're a panda.
Me: I am not a panda, pandas are fat.
Erik: Okay, you're a skinny panda.
...and that's how my mornings start. Third hour business law: gotta love it!
I actually finished that gigantic iSearch paper, but I sacrificed my sleep and sanity for it. The things I will do for a good grade....
Mum arrived in Denmark alright this morning, which means that I am the new offical chef/babysitter/maid for a while. I hope she did not expect to come home to find the house as she left it. X_x I miss mama.
Considering I have nothing much to say, and my little brother is nagging me for the computer, I will go do some laundry...

Nightmare Dance

A sweet fragrance is being sown in sleep.
The color of strong poison is vivid.
Going astray, it forgets that it cannot escape.
The inner dream is sending pheromones,
showing the raise of a nightmare.

Transformations of dreams and crisis are unrestricted.
Coming and going,
They print our past and future.
Seeking and looking,
They see a person's heart: manipulated and bound.

A sweet fragrance is being sown in sleep.
The impression of bad poison is firm.
In addition to wanting a one-time failure,
it becomes the remain of stamen.
Filling up with pheromones,
showing the raise of a nightmare.

Nightmare
Nightmare
Nightmare...

Mother's Day and Mucho Problems (RANT TIME!)

What's Playing In My Ear: "Time Machine" by The Click Five
I'm finding out the inevitable truth: school sucks.
I spent a month working on a my iSearch paper just to find that I have to redo the entire thing from the beginning. Oh, and did I mention that I only have about a day to do it?
Someone shoot me. Please.
Other than that, this weekend was spent with grandma and mum, putting up with their "fascinating" commentary on why I'm not girly enough and need to be more feminine.
Grandma: Sweetheart, you have a boy's figure.
Me: Grandma, DID YOU NOT SEE THE BOOBS?
Mom: But you dress like a 17 year-old boy when you're a 16 year-old girl!
Me: ...and?
Mom and Grandma: STOP IT! WE DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO BE A Y-CHROMOSOMED CAVEMAN!
Thanks guys. I like Grey's Anatomy, isn't that girly enough for you? Puh-leeeeaze.
At least I have the NCSY convention to look forward to next week, although I feel guilty that the only convention I ever have time for is the last one. >_> I can't wait to see all my peeps, though!
I haven't added anything to my novel in three months. THREE WHOLE EFFING MONTHS! Not a page, not a paragraph, not even a word! That's a long time to go without writing anything. The problem is a lack of time, a lack of interest, a lack of inspiration, or a combination of the three.
Oh, and I accidentally wrote my entire Earth Science Lab in Danish/Spanish/Hebrew, which means I am not getting sufficient sleep. Gosh darnit.
Can't I do anything correctly anymore?
Where be my time machine? I'm going back to where everything made sense in my life.

Eyes For The Moon

We make quarreling voices, once again I mumble in the night
I've lost my singing voice, I'm fading away

Demons from the reverse side of kindness are beckoning me
I didn't have a single intention of hurting you

On this street corner I can't get used to
I crouched at my tears' whereabouts

I held up in my arms a mirage of
A face suited to smile
For no reason, I felt I could protect you
Back then

EYES FOR THE MOON

From here I'm walking all alone
We can't be together anymore
I can't wait for tomorrow

Now I know they won't come true
These illusions people named dreams

What I broke must've been our memories and your heart...
If I could turn back the clock needle just a little
Was I beside you..

The noise of the night disgraces me
Your sweet voice
The guardrail, a sight in this town, Ah just once more
I want to see you I want to see you

I'm enchanted by this mirage
Pretending to be blind to these wounds
I have to forget, I can't forget, I wish

I held up in my arms a mirage of
A face suited to smile
For no reason, I felt I could protect you
Back then

EYES FOR THE MOON

New Colors

Another flower petal gets torn off again,
Because I don't have the power to stop the wind,
It floats to the opposite bank where you broke down in tears
As my only farewell gift
It's alright if you forget the promise we made that day

I walk a single step past this love
Why is everything tore off like this
A trail of stardust streams down again
Because I don't have the power to stop time
Don't lift up prayers, only one will do
It's alright if you wish for your own happiness

I allowed a pain of the same color
I blame it on mistakes of a different color
A light of that same color burns
Hiding a door of another color

Now, for your sake, a faded flower falls down
Now, for your sake, a faded star falls down
In that dream, good night

One more spoon in this unfillable love
Why does everything drive me mad like this
I feel a squall coming down on me on the streetcorner
Because there's no umbrella to protect from wounds
Don't look for ways out, only one will do
It's alright if you search for your own happiness

I engrave with a rhythm of the same color
I erase footsteps of a different color
I draw a scenery of that same color
And locked up a season of another color

Now, for your sake, a faded night comes to an end
Now, for your sake, a morning of a new color will come
In that dream, good night

SWEET DREAMS, BABY
SWEET DREAMS, BABY

If someday we meet again somewhere
Would we start over? Is there a place to continue from?
We outdistanced the times we couldn't reset
Don't cry, kindness and weaknesses are not the same thing

I allowed a pain of the same color
I blame it on mistakes of a different color
A light of that same color burns
Hiding a door of another color

Now, for your sake, a flower of a new color blooms
Now, for your sake, a star of a new color falls down
In that dream, good night
SWEET DREAMS, BABY
SWEET DREAMS, BABY

My Place

It's the last day of April. I liked April. I'll miss April.
And with that said...HELLO MONTH OF MAY! :D In Spanish class, we're celebratig Cinco de Mayo on May sixth. Go figure.
This means that there are only about seven weeks left of school until summer holiday! My heart is going doki-doki just thinking about it!
I've decided to try my hand at bento box lunch making. I always wanted to make them, but I never found the time or equipment. After thought and research, I found that just using some Tupperware works just as well as buying a bento box. Plus, Tupperware is washable! :D
For me, today was just one of those days where you wake up crabby and end up yelling at everyone (and feeling guilty about it later). As much as I'd love to rant, I'm short on time, so I'll just type up my latest poem.

There is a special place only for me,
hidden from the world, standing in the mist.
My secret hideaway which no soul can see,
Vast and green, its valley spreads out wide,
my hideout's rivers sparkling like liquid sapphire,
there are tall strong trees with birds inside.
My hidden place is private, I can stay there to think,
I run through the white sand carelessly,
From the forest berries I feast and the clean water I drink.
My little piece of heaven shines high,
with a beautiful sun, a motherly moon,
and bright white clouds in an endless summer sky.
I can't remember how I found this land at all,
the lush landscape is always cloaked,
yet I have come to this valley since I was quite small.
I cannot tell nor can I show,
anyone of this miniature Eden,
For if I do, tragic events shall fall as you could never know.
Anyone can come to my hidden place,
they only need believe,
faith must be hard this days, for no other soul hath shown his face.
This land carries a magic spell,
it gives you the power to understand,
but I cannot express what lessons I learned,
in language, words do not always tell.
Should you wish to visit, you need complete a deed,
you must plant goodness in your fellow man,
a great tree of kindness sprouts from one seed.
So as I lay in the grassy flat,
I wonder who else dwelled here,
this paradise may be the spot where wise old Solomon sat.
But this land is mine, for myself alone,
I come here often, I claimed it as my territory,
this vibrant scenery has become my home.
Should you pass through, do not be scared,
this place of beauty can be shared,
you need only be prepared.

Zombies, Bagels, and Moonflowers

What's Playing In My Ear:"Unwell"-Matchbox 20
There is nothing more satisfying than eating chametz after a whole week of matzah. I swear, I have never been so happy to eat a bagel in my life.
I love the fact that everyone who went to prom is essentially brain dead today. The school is full of walking zombies, a couple of my friends included. Makes me feel even better about not going. Next year I plan on going to prom with my friends if there isn't a Jewish holiday in the way.
For English class I had to read "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller. On Friday, I was on page 87 of 463. By Sunday, I had finished the entire thing. That's right. I read 376 pages in a timespan of about two and a half days, which is an accomplishment considering that the book has no plot/storyline or chronological order. Take THAT, organized education!
Mum has the brilliant idea of sending me to spend my summer at an all-girl's Chabad camp in Panama. She wants me to practice my Spanish instead of spending my summer with the family back in Vikingland/Denmark. That is one idea I actually agree with. Mum's going there in a couple of weeks or so, which means we're not obligated to see them for another three years or so. Plus, my uncle canceled his trip to come here with my little cousins, whom I cannot stand. Pretty sweet deal, huh?
Our tulips finally decided to come up, which means Mum will go on another planting spree. She said something about me digging up flower beds. T_T I want to plant some moonflowers because they are just made of awesome: gigantic petals, "magical properties", vine-like behavior, what's not to love?
Meh, not much more to jabber about. I'm off to work on that white collar crime project for Business Law

Matzah Madness

What's Playing In My Ear:"Triple Dreams"-SeraMyu
Funny how time flies by when you're watching people get drunk at the seder...
A lot of funny stuff has happened since I posted: I got stabbed in the arm with a fork (and bled), got my first B+ instead of an A in Spanish, watched the sun rise backwards, accidentally answered my teacher in Swedish, sneezed out lemonade, and got my matzah stolen from me at lunch. Oye peoples...GET YOUR OWN MATZAH, THIS SHEET'S MINE BITCHES! >:o
Ugh, I can't wait for summer...
Well, spending four days straight with my family made me realize how crazy they really are. How many of YOUR relatives tell you that putting a fish skeleton under your pillow is lucky? I can't remember a minute during the entire holiday that my brothers weren't fighting with each other or trying to fight with me. As insane as they might be, they make me look normal, so I love 'em. :D Gotta love the holidays...
Geez, you miss ONE day of school and end up super-behind! I have to catch up on like 30 pages of reading in history, 6 workbook pages in Spanish, a science lab, a math test, a vocabulary test, and my isearch paper. The paper has been driving me crazy, I didn't think ahead when I set my deadlines and now I'm scrambling to finish. >_> I hate school.
The only thing I hate about Passover is the lack of edibles. I usually find stuff to snack on, but this year we've cut on the goodies. T_T It's my parent's secret way of making me diet... DIET IS 'DIE' WITH A 'T' AT THE END! I'M NOT FAT!
...am I?

Sweet Sixteen

What's Playing In My Ear:"Dance, Dance"-Fall Out Boy
Birthdays rock.
Period.
My friend called me at 6-ish in the AM, I got a kung-fu card from my cousin, had awesome birthday balloons, and found out that I don't have a twin.
I love turning sixteen.
Except when you have a test on volcanic activity on the same day that you were too busy to study for. Oh well, to heck with Earth Science.
I decided that for my birthday I would straighten my hair, put in my contacts, and brush on a bit of makeup, but I did not think that people would have trouble recognizing me. I waved to a group of my friends in the hall, and they had no clue who I was. Geez, am I THAT ugly on a daily basis?
After school, Mum and Dad took me for Japanese birthday lunch. Tempura, sushi, udon soup, mochi.... I was in heaven. Mum and I spent the rest of the day at the mall shopping. She wanted me to pick something out for my birthday, but fashion these days is just horrifying. It's as if the fashion designers want you to look like you dressed in the dark. These clothes would make a blind gay man go "Oh, dear CHRIST!" I still had fun with Mum anyways, we don't spend nearly enough time together.
Since my secular birthday was a half day, I brought in treats today for my Judaic birthday. I figured out how to bake cookies without harming anyone in the process, so I brought some of those for everybody. Erin brought me awesome balloons, and I went through the whole day on cloud nine. :D
Turning sixteen is überly-awesome

Fight Song

Always being your same old self is good.
It's also a better thing to not ask, "Why?"
Will you restart from there again?
This is the thing that really suits you the most.

A person is a person, and you are yourself.
If you try and compare to something else, then you will lose.
In ourselves we have the strength to never lose,
So no matter what type of wall it is, we will break through.

Occasionally, it's good to cry.
And it's okay for people to see your weak spot too.
But, don't get stuck there!
You can still do it, go for that dream you had before.

No matter how many words you say,
Only one word can be the best of all.
The first thing to do is step forward for yourself,
"Do your best" Even being that type of cheap guy is okay.

Even now, you might be worried about something,
Because it might be something that has been dented.
But, somewhere in the future with you,
We can laugh in agreement, we can make that path.

No matter how many words you say,
Only one word can be the best of all.
Come out from under that high place and continue up that slope.

Even now, you might be worried about something,
Because it might be something that has been dented.
After finally taking one step, you could start to walk again, couldn't you?
"Do your best" You see, it's really a suitable reason.

For The Love of...Grass?....

What's Playing in My Ear: "Nine In The Afternoon"-Panic at the Disco

You know what is bothering me at the moment? It really annoys the heck out of me, even though it's a completely random and pointless topic. Panic at the Disco got rid of the exclamation point after "Panic." What's up with that? MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEOPLE! IS THERE AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHIN YOUR RANKS?
Back to my scheduled rant...
This weekend, the snow FINALLY melted completely! I have never in my life been so happy to see grass. It's a lot like the time we were on that ferry in Sweden, and, well....you can imagine the rest.
It was nice to finally open the windows and go outside again! I wanted to go on a bike ride because the weather was so nice, but I ended up getting nabbed for a babysitting job instead. I babysat for a three-year old girl, twin two year-old boys, and a 1 year-old girl ALL AT ONCE. My head is still recovering from the pain. At least they paid well. The things I do for cash...
Everyone's all abuzz about prom here nowadays. I got asked by a couple of guys, but I don't want to go to prom this year. It's not a sophomore dance, and I would feel out of place. Plus, prom ain't cheap; between the dress, the tickets, and the side costs, it's insane. I'll go next year with my friends, that seems like much more fun.
I still have no clue what I'm doing this summer, but going to Denmark isn't an option at this point. As much as I love going back, there are to many issues at the moment that conflict with the idea. There's really nothing left for me there except problems that I cannot solve.
We took a disorders test in psychology today, and apparently I suffer from both narcissism and low self-esteem. How the hell does that work? Even my teacher was baffled....stupid falsified internet test.
Ugh, my feet are both asleep. I forgot how much something as stupid as sleeping limbs can hurt. I'm going to go take advantage of the nice weather and take a walk.

Vacation Smells Like Hamantaschen

What's Playing in My Ear: "Happiness"-Arashi
VACATION RULES. PERIOD.
I get to sleep in, stay up late, bake whenever I want, and write to my heart's desire....right?
WRONG.
I get to clean and organize the pantry, write my i-Search, clean my room, fix the dressers, and put up with dear old mum and dad for a whole week straight.
Fabulous.
Well, at least Purim was awesome. Jonas Brothers costumes were the best ones I've ever made yet. One of my more brilliant ideas, if I do say so myself. (Except for the part where every pre-teen and, even teenage, girl in the shul commenced to chase us down for pictures.) Not one of my more brilliant ideas.
Well, it was fun nonetheless, my brother was home, I spent some time with the community, I made fun of my least favorite boy band, hung out with old friends, and I got to eat triangular pastries filled with jam.
What could be better?
Mum's agreed to give another try at teaching me to cook over vacation, so I'm a little excited about that prospect. Although, most of my cooking attempts were not as successful as I'd hoped. We had the onigiri incident, the snow peas accident, and nobody could forget the ginger snaps FROM HELL.
Let's hope I've lost my accident-prone streak in the kitchen.
Needless to say, all this craziness leaves little room for getting anything done that I honestly want to accomplish, but I can't expect too much from myself. All I really want is a bit of R & R, a chance to recharge from all the insanity that's been happening to me lately.
I just can't take any more freaking snow. I'm going insane. I need some natural scenery. One of these days I'm going to take a blowtorch to all the white stuff and just melt all of it.
I'm not kidding. A blowtorch.

People Are Getting Drunk At 6 AM Today?

What's playing in my ear:"Knockin' Down Hesitation"-Anza Ōyama

.....Let's just say, I'm glad I'm Jewish. Our holidays are kind of nutty, but this is insane.
[Which reminds me, I need to get cracking on that Purim costume. My friends and I are going as the Jonas Brothers. Heh heh.... (Please, if you know what's good for you, don't ask.)]
I DID wear green today (my jade ring) because I didn't feel like fending off pokes and pinches and whatnot.
Let's see... Today I learned that I can't draw, that Lisa will punch you if you sing the 'Circle Circle Dot Dot' song, and that some things are best left unsaid.
I met this kid who's mum works with a publishing company who would be interested in looking at my book! Now I actually have a chance of getting my work out there. 'Bout time, if you ask me. The other day, a friend of mine got considerably upset because I didn't show my book to her. Look people, this stuff doesn't have a copyright quite yet, and I can't risk anyone stealing my hard-thought ideas. Sorry if I offend you, but I can't be too careful.
Funny thing, at the beginning of the school year, almost all my friends were dating someone except me. Now, they've all broken up with their boyfriends. That means that I'm going out with someone within the next month or two! (It's the way our whole mystical cycle works with the fates and destiny and all that jazz. Unless you sat at my lunch table last year, you won't get it, so don't ask.) But if not, I'm perfectly okay being single. There's no immediate need for a boyfriend at the moment.
I have a piano recital in a month or so, but I HATE recitals. My teacher knows that I don't enjoy recitals, but she always puts me in them anyway. I don't preform well in front of crowds when it comes to piano. But I'm not playing anything too complicated (Hungarian Waltz, FIRE, and Hikari)
Better get working..... "Fire, Fire, FIRE!" :D

π!

What's playing in my ear: "Blurry Eyes"-L'Arc~en~Ciel

Ah... The weekend: a chance to get some sleep, squeeze in some writing, and get together with friends.
YEAH RIGHT.
This weekend's going to stink, because my friend canceled on me, I have a load of homework, and I have to get up early.
SHOOT ME.
Well, it's nothing a little pie couldn't solve! π Day is the only thing I truly enjoy when it comes to mathematics. Come on people it's pie, what's not to like? (Which reminds me that I left some brownies in the oven...) Plus, π Day means that my birthday is only a month away! Sweet Sixteen!
In Business Law, we have been discussing identity theft, so Erik and I obviously commenced a discussion regarding who's identity we'd steal.
Erik: So, who'd you want to be?
Me: Chuck Norris.
Erik: I don't think you could get away with that. He pretty much runs the WHOLE FREAKING WORLD.
Me: Okay then, Mr T!
Heh heh
"I pity da foo'!"
I'd better go check on those brownies..... >_>
HAPPY ∏ DAY!

Crash and BURN

What's playing in my ear: "Te Busqué"-Nelly Furtado w/ Juanes

Wow...... I'm bad at keeping a blog, aren't I?
Geez, sophomore year is almost over, and my last post was from June. I need to stay on top of this blog thing. Not much has changed. I'm still your favorite anime-obsessed, soy-loving, slightly hyper writer. I've gotten at least 15 pages of my book written since my last post. I know that's not very much, but give me a break! I'M A BUSY WOMAN, PEOPLE!
I'm still not sure exactly what I want to do this summer. I was considering an NCSY program, but now I'm not so sure 'bout that. I wanted to do an AFS summer program, but my parents aren't so hot on the idea of me spending my summer in Hong Kong. (Come on, mum and dad!) Likely case scenario: I end up as a camp counselor again. "Why would you do that, you fool?" you may ask. Well...
1) I have almost no other productive pastimes for my summer
2) I have come to like kids a bit more than last year
3) I need the money.
Th'ar ye are. REASONS. But if them kids bite me again, I quit.
I'm serious.
But other than that, not much else is new. I did get accepted as a member of a fan-dub type project called SMU. So far, I don't have an actual role yet because they have a lot of female members, but I'm in no rush. These things take time.
Well, that's my life in a nutshell at the moment.

Drift Away

What's Playing in My Ear: "Makes Me Wonder"- Maroon 5

Long time no post, eh?
Overall, I have to say that freshman year was amazing. Much better than I expected at first. I made so many friends, and learned a lot about life and how long it takes to piss off Randy by poking at his bangs. :D
It feels like ages that I was a scared little eighth grader standing outside the school doors, my hair flowing in the September wind, not knowing what to expect once I entered inside, and yet, it seems like it was only yesterday at the same time. I've really grown from this experience and I feel like a changed person for the better. I'm a froshmore! XD
School's out for the summer as of 10:40, and I quote Loiben "...It feels pretty damn good." I'm not quite sure what I'm going to be doing. Probably drivers ed. and being a bit of a lump. >_> Maybe I'll be a camp counselor again and get rabies from all of the little kids that find it's funny to bite me! X_x
I want to get some more writing in now that I have all of this free time to spare. It doesn't necessarily have to be my novel, but maybe a few poems and stuff like that. It'd also be helpful to brush up on my cooking skills. The last time I cooked something, the fire department didn't even bother coming. I know everyone there on a first-name basis...
Enjoy your freedom! Love you all!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX (multiply all those by 999,999,999,999,999)
~Mara

Zzzyx :D

Wow, it's been a while..... o.O
Life's been dandy, I guess. Still suffering from 3rd quarter depression, and man, did this week SUCK. My grades seemed to be slipping, a few of my friends denounced me as a "traitor", my social/love life was a messy time bomb waiting to explode, and in short: My life just seemed to be falling apart before my eyes. All I can say is: thank god for the weekend.
Most of my negative energy's been devoted to either piano or writing. Even if my English teacher says that my work is a load of crap, I'm still going to write. My novel's already at it's 43rd page of the second draft, and I'm not about to abandon it. I'm also working on a nocturne for my spring recital, I don't intend on walking up and looking like I can't play. I wouldn't call myself the next Beethoven, but I play pretty well. :D
In the past few months, I've found that I truly take joy in taking pictures and video of the people I love. I'm no filmmaker, but I find beauty in simple everyday moments of my life with friends. Who knows how much time I have left with them. I'm trying to take life as it comes, rolling with the punches. As Jack Dawson said in Titanic: "Life's one big poker game. You never know what hand you'll be dealt next."
~Mara

Nos Coeurs Sont Unis...

He makes my heart go aflutter
He causes my knees to go limp
He makes me lose control of what I say
He causes the hairs on the back of my neck to prick up in ecstasy
His scent stops me dead in my tracks, he smells of vanilla, spice, and pine
His step is light, but his presence is overwhelming
His legs are sleek and strong, but willing to dance with me
His body is slender, but strong enough to melt my heart
His chest is broad, but he allows me to fall asleep on it
His arms are powerful and mighty, but gentle enough to embrace me with
His hands are well-worked, but tender enough to pull back a wisp of my stray hair
His lips are soft when we kiss, yet strong when he speaks
His smile is warm and caring, but confident and brave as well
His eyes are like two glistening emeralds, but ablaze with passionate fire when gazing into mine
His hair is soft and smooth, yet wild and unpredictable
Whenever we touch, I feel a spark of joy shoot through my body
We are one
~Mara

生命は微風である (Life is a Breeze)

Good god, I haven't posted in a long time... Happy New Year? >_<>__> I love my friends...
I was just watching Titanic today, and I cried AGAIN. TTTTTTT_______TTTTTT It's just sooooo sad! I can't help it! Every time I see it, I hope that the ship won't sink, but it still does, and I always go "nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!" It's so depressing...
I still can't believe that four months have passed so quickly, time is just slipping through my hands like water. It feels like only yesterday that it was September 6, and I was scared senseless at the thought of entering a public school for the first time. Pretty soon, it'll be summer again, and I hope not to forgot everything I have learned. Being with my new friends in a new school, and being happy here, it just doesn't seem real. I've never felt this happy before, and I've never felt so alive. I don't remember the last time I ever had this much fun. Some roller coaster of life, eh? It feels like I'm in a gigantic dream. Well, this is one dream I hope that I never have to wake up from!
~Mara

Meep?

It's almost the end of December, and I have one thing to say: WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE SNOW!? It's like, bare here. It reminds me of winters in Denmark, and trust me, winter there is sucky. No snow in Wisconsin is like, messed up. Anyhoo, winter vacation reading is going okay, I'm already halfway done. Great Expectations is one of the most boring books I've read in ages. NEVER read it unless you are forced to at gunpoint.
A friend of mine says that she'll teach me Bulgarian. (Just to add to my randomness XD) And if you add that to my current language roster, you get:
English
Hebrew
Japanese
Spanish
Bulgarian
YAYZ! XD Sorry if I'm rambling a bit, I don't have much to say. ........GO DUCKS!.....
~Mara

Une Chose Originale... (One Original Thing)

As you can tell by the title, my latest language obsession is French. I've even changed my ipod settings to display everything in French.
I officially am a "Loozer with a capital 'C'" as my friend Melli would say. xD
My parents still won't let me buy a laptop with my Bat Mitzvah money, and I've run out of ideas. Eh, at least I have that babysitting job on Saturday night to get more cash for the "I need new shoes" fund. xD
I have a Facebook account now, so I can now keep in touch with old friends. I'm sure that some of them either:
Forgot me
Wanted to forget me
Remember me
XDDD
Winter break is fun, but I have to read 'Great Expectations.' Dickens is boring. Period. Meh, what more can I say? Life is life!
~Mara

Merri Kurismasu! *^_^*

Yes, it's that time again... Doesn't make much of a difference to me, considering the fact that I'm Jewish. We had Chinese takeout. >_>
But I have found a way to combat that dreaded 'D' from my math test. I got an 'A' on my last quiz, so if I pass another one, my grade will be brought up! I just gotta work hard!
I saw Pirates of the Caribbean for the first time. x_x Yes, I'm aware of how pathetic I am. I had never seen it, and didn't want to get into it merely because of the popularity. But now that the commotion has died down, and I've seen it, I found that it was quite a film to behold! I love Johnny Depp and Orlie, ~KYUU! XD
I was watching the Quill Awards (Like the Academy Awards, but for books) and Eldest won for 'Best Young Adult!' I was like "YEEEEAAAAHHAAAWWW!!" Paolini (the author/my inspiration) got up and gave his whole shpiel. Watching him talk onstage is really funny for me, because I got to meet him for an interview once, and he read to us in Dwarvish! xD
Naruto got 'Best Graphic Novel,' but seeing as I've never read it, I wasn't too thrilled.
Anyhoo, Happy Holidays, peace on earth and all that jazz. "Savvy?" XDD
~Mara

ほうき星 (Houkiboshi)

"My life is falling apart."
~Dennis, "Dennis The Menace"
I got a 'D' on that math test. Life sucks. T_T At least I can get the extra credit points. I got to see Eragon last Saturday, and I must say; OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! ~KYAAAA!!! XDDD Lol. I'm such a rapid fangirl. Life goes on, I've gotta go study for the World Studies test.
~Mara
P.S Is 'Forthwith' a real word?

落日の約束/Yuuhi no Yakusoku (Promise of the Setting Sun)

Lumière-Light;By Me, Mara

“My heart, my dear heart. What has happened to my heart? I feel an empty hole where my heart once was. I feel a dark sad feeling whenever my soul yearns to find it. I cannot feel, I cannot sense, I cannot comprehend the darkness I feel within me. It seems like a hand of evil has crushed my spirits, destroyed my heart, and left me here. Alone, all alone. I stand alone, facing the day ahead. I weep for what was my heart, and yet, I feel brightness on my face. Someone is shining a light upon me, their light. Their warmth engulfs me, despite my being an empty shell. I feel a renewed hope, and I promise that when I see that setting sun, I shall go on. This warmth shall be my guardian light, as long as hope ignites.”
~Mara

Kimi He

Like the new layout? The old one was getting a bit drab. >.> I'm getting sick of the whole Al Bhed thing, so I'm ditching it. I really think this whole high school thing isn't as hard as everyone says it is. I'm actually going to my first dance. ^_^ Yes, I know, but still, dances=fun. I gotta go study for that bio quiz, but here's a little something.

Sonnets from the Portuguese 43: How Do I Love Thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Uh yht Uh..

Cunno dryd ed'c paah cu muhk...
Vnetyo fyc y chuf tyo, cu E vehymmo ryja desa du fneda. Clruum'c kuehk ugyo, E kiacc. Ytzicdehk ryc paah ayco, yht dra dnyhcedeuh vnus banulreym clruum du bipmel clruum caasc mega y cemmo drehk du ryja funneat ypuid. E kiacc uin vaync yna fryd sygac ic faygahat, pid yd dra cysa desa ed ec fryd cdnahkdrahc ic. E cdemm caas du caa rec vyla ajanofrana E dinh. Ed ryihdc so tnaysc yht so jeceuh. E tuh'd ghuf fro, pid E lyh'd cryga rec sasuno uvv. E tuh'd ajah mega res, yht oad, E cdemm luhcdyhdmo drehg uv res. Ed dunsahdc sa palyica ed luhvicac sa. E fecr E luimt syga dra byeh cdub, E fecr E luimt ihtu ymm uv dra risemeydeuh dryd ullinat palyica uv draca asudeuhc uv seha. L'acd my jea, E kiacc.
~Syny

Rec Aoac...

From here on in, it's Al Behd only. To translate, got to: http://www.pixelscapes.com/twoflower/albhed.html

E cyf res ykyeh dutyo. Ed fyc uhmo vun y cbmed caluht, druikr. Uin aoac mulgat uhmo vun y susahd. Ed caasc dryd ra cfedlrat lmyccac, yht byccac sa eh dra rymmc yvdan raymdr, yht pavuna ymkapny. E hajan pnuikrd socamv du cbayg du res, hud yvdan fryd rybbahat. E gaab ycgehk socamv fro so raynd mehkanc uh res, fro ed cdemm caac rec vyla aylr hekrd. E lyh'd vulic frah ra'c uh so seht. E zicd caas du samd, yht oad, so raynd rindc frahajan E drehg uv res. Ed'c zicd cu luhvicehk. E tuh'd ihtancdyht fro so rayt lyh mad ed ku, pid hud so raynd. E vaam y byeh ehceta frahajan E caa res, pid E ymcu vaam so raynd kuehk "tuge-tuge" frah E caa rec vyla. E'ja raynt yfvim nisunc ypuid res, dra funcd uha cyoehk dryd ra csugat bud, pid E lyh'd pnehk socamv du pameaja ed. E fuh'd pameaja ed. Rec hysa ec y pinhehk funt uh so duhkia, rec vyla yh ela-lumt tacena eh so raynd. Pid fa lyh hajan pa, yht E sicd cdub vemmehk so rayt fedr cilr huhcahca. E sicd hud luhvica naymedo fedr emmiceuhc.
~Syny

Just Pinch Me...

I haven't had much time to post lately. I was thinking of him again..
"L'illusione-Illusions"
"The illusion of you is like being stuck in a loophole. No matter how much I seem to move on, I always end up where I started. It never stops. It's like your love, your face, your eyes, and your smile are carved into my heart. Always there, and never fades away. The illusion of you... So great, so strong, a force I could never control. Above all things, I try to break free. But I remain as a prisoner of this love. I'm bonded to you."
~Mara

(¡Los Nerds Tienen Sensaciones También!) Nerds Have Feelings Too!

According to my new Budist friend/yo-yo champ/Lord of the Rings fanatic, I'm a nerd. Go figure.
I've been doing okay in school, but it's a bit tough to be back after having spent so much time in synagogue last weekend. I manage, somehow. I've been passing my Spanish tests, my English requirements keep getting more and more complex, and the French Revolution is tougher than it looks. ~_~
Melli-san lent me a new manga, and I have another obsession; +Anima. It's uberly kawaii! ^_^ Not to mention that Grey's Anatomy is on tonight! D: ¿No es esto perfectamente asombroso? (Isn't this perfectly amazing?)
~Mara

生命は雌犬である (Life is a Bitch)

I got my math test back, and I have to make corrections if I want those five extra credit points. Maaaaaaan, I hate being responsible.... >.<
I felt like crap today after a full 25 hours of fasting, and none of the teachers were forgiving about it. They were all like "Gee, you've gotta wake up, girl!" I wanted to flatten their noses in so badly. At least we get to the good stuff now: pre-chemistry, French revolution, Spanish infinitives, balanced equations, sleep deprivation (health class), and "To Kill A Mockingbird." (Although I've already read it five times) I missed homecoming, but I don't really care. I heard that it was just a lot of making out, and dirty dancing to hip-hop crap. Frankly, I had more fun staying home and blowing up potatoes. D:
Life somehow slugs itself forward, as much as I want to hit a pause button. "Our mistakes make us better and blahblahblah..."
~Mara