Ramblings of an Asian Pop Culture Fan (Formerly Mara's World: AKA Another Planet)

Raining

2010-01-10T01:01:00.002-06:00

You coloured the landscape with warmth and tranquility

And for the first time, I knew the scent of love

Bathed in radiant sunlight, nothing could make me fear

But that brightness made shadows invisible

If I tightly held your hand

With what kind of strength

Things like those other people

Might have been gone for good

Like not getting wet in the unending rain

Shoulder pressed to the way home

From that place you disappeared

Even now, the rain keeps falling on me

As time flows by

My feelings are on the road towards you

With the scent of first love

If I could walk towards

The deepest part of your heart

With shaking shoulders, I wonder,

If we could just meet honestly

If the unending rain could

Roughly wash away my mistakes

I'd search for the words to reach you

But even now, the rain keeps falling

I can see your face floating behind my eyelids

After the tears, everything about you

I don't want to forget, I can't forget

Grief is just like this

Like not getting wet in the unending rain

Shoulder pressed to the way home

From that place you disappeared

Even now, the rain keeps falling on me

Timeless

2009-11-29T15:44:00.003-06:00

Baby come close let me tell you this
In a whisper my heart says you know it too
Baby we both share a secret wish
And you feel my love reaching out to you

Timeless
Don't let it end, oh no
Now that you're right here in my arms where you should stay
Hold tight baby
Timeless
Don't let it fade out of sight
Just let the moments sweep us both away
Lifting us to where
We both agree
It's just timeless love

I see it all baby in your eyes
When you look at me I know I feel it too
So let's sail away and meet forever baby
Where the crystal ocean melts into the sky
We shouldn't let the moment pass
You making me shiver let's make it last
Why should we lose it?
Don't ever let me go

Timeless
Don't let it end, oh no
Now that you're right here in my arms where you should stay
Hold tight baby
Timeless
Don't let it fade out of sight
Just let the moments sweep us both away
Lifting us to where
We both agree
It's just timeless love

Timeless
Baby, it's timeless
Oh, baby it's timeless

Timeless
Don't let it fade out of sight
Just let the moments sweep us both away
Lifting us to where
We both agree
This is timeless
This is timeless...

Love

Blue Tomorrow

2009-11-12T17:27:00.001-06:00

When it’s tomorrow, we agree not to meet again
Sitting in the shop at the end of the road, I ordered a cup of "missing you"
When it’s tomorrow, we can only let love pass by
Before daybreak, two people's smiling faces become a yellowed photograph

Around me (loneliness is spreading)
Vision (is being blurred by tears)
I left “I love you” at the bottom of my heart and put them on the tip of my lips

When it’s tomorrow, you will leave my side
When it’s tomorrow, I will wish upon a shooting star alone
Just like the ending of a movie
Our ending fulfilled the prediction of tears
Broken promises all over the ground, the yesterday that cannot be pieced together again
But I still look forward to the appearance of a miracle, oh no
Your shadow is drifting further and further away.

Love is still lingering in my room
Before the memory becomes real, in a moment
It felt like you were in front of my eyes

Around me (loneliness is spreading)
This vision (is being blurred by tears)
A sentence “I love you”, I left it deep in the bottom of my heart
and put it on the tip of my lips

When it’s tomorrow, you will leave my side
When it’s tomorrow, I will wish upon a shooting star alone
Just like the ending of a movie
Our ending fulfilled the prediction of tears
Broken promises all over the ground, the yesterday that cannot be pieced together again
But I still look forward to the appearance of a miracle, oh no
Your shadow is drifting further and further away.

Without you, love starts to hibernate
Loneliness will occupy every day
I stand under the streetlight, on the side of the cold street
That place where we once embraced
Is the roof under which we once seek shelter from the rain together, oh

When it’s tomorrow, you will leave my side
When it’s tomorrow, I will wish upon a shooting star alone
Just like the ending of a movie
Our ending fulfilled the prediction of tears
Broken promises all over the ground, the yesterday that cannot be pieced together again
But I keep looking forward to the appearance of a miracle, oh no

I still reminisce the past when we were in love
I’m still waiting for you to come back to my side
Tears are falling on the side of my cold pillow
I hit pause on time until you appear again
I cannot stand each of the days without you, oh no

I love you, it will not change
I’ll be loving you till eternity

Me

2009-10-05T17:21:00.002-05:00

Run, dance facing the wind and waves

Take away troubles

Only want to hold on to this moment, this second

Laughter and taste of youth fill the air

It's a beautiful and gorgeous pigment

The world no longer only has signs of loneliness

Never wavered, never stopped building

OH~ The castle of dreams

I will quietly pray

To see your smile once again

It's gonna be me

Throw away your troubles and run

It's gonna be me

Listen to my heart's earnest beating

Pull you into my arms,

what is more important than you?

Wonderful like a fairy tale

It's gonna be me

I want to tightly grab you

It's gonna be me

The omen of happiness, will be known the next second

At least can touch the wet edges of your eyes

Sleeping quietly next to me

It's gonna be me

Laughter and taste of youth fill the air

It's a beautiful and gorgeous pigment

The world no longer only has signs of loneliness

Never wavered, never stopped building

OH~ The castle of dreams

I will quietly pray

To see your smile once again

It's gonna be me

Throw away your troubles and run

It's gonna be me

Listen to my heart's earnest beating

Pull you into my arms, what is more important than you?

Wonderful like a fairy tale

I'm your coat, love won't catch a cold, chase away all the troubles

Sadness can lessen, we can be good

I can't stop missing you, you are the remedy

It's gonna be me

The sky is no longer full of clouds

It's gonna be me

Don't wanna say goodbye

Declare to the world, proudly

I'm loving you

It's gonna be me

Throw away your troubles

and run trouble to ruin

It's gonna be me

Listen to my heart's honest beating

Can you hear?

Pull you into my arms, what is more important than your love?

Wonderful like a fairy tale

It's gonna be(me)

I want to tightly grab you

I must embrace you tightly

It's gonna be me

The omen of happiness, will be known the next second

As soon as your eyes open

At least can touch the wet edges of your eyes

You shine so bright

Sleeping quietly next to me

It's gonna be me

Happiness' Eyes

2009-10-01T09:39:00.003-05:00

I never once forgot you
I thought of only you
Then what about you?
Did you forget me?
My tears fall from my eyes
I feel betrayed

I thought of finding you
I honestly have no clue, I don't really know
In my eyes,
you are the only one in the world
I don't have anything to say
I can't go forward without you
I don't have tears
Look at me in front of you
Me, who lives for you alone

The time came for us to meet
You are in front of me
crying with nervousness
I wiped your tears
then I held your hand
I'm going to rise and give you,
who's been with me
happiness

With my eyes, I long for you
In my heart, I've found you
I can see the light that brightens me
I can't let go of the eternal happiness
Can you see me?
Call my name!
By your side I will stay
I love you!
Let's be together, you and me forever

I never once forgot you
I thought of only you
Then what about you?
Did you forget me?
My tears fall from my eyes
I feel betrayed

The time came for us to meet
You are in front of me
crying with nervousness
I dried your tears
then I held your hand
I'm going to rise and give you,
who's been with me
happiness

With my eyes, I long for you
In my heart, I've found you
I can see the light that brightens me
I can't let go of the eternal happiness
Can you see me?
Call my name! By your side
I will stay
I love you!
Let's be together, you and me forever

The happiness
that the bluebirds give
is always near to us

With my eyes, I long for you
In my heart, I've found you
I can see the light that brightens me
I can't let go of the eternal happiness
Can you see me?
Call my name!
Open your heart whenever
and see that I'm always in front of you
Call my name! By your side
I will stay
I love you!
Let's be together, you and me forever

Thanks For Your Tenderness

2009-09-16T10:03:00.002-05:00

Thank you for being so gentle
Holding your love
Waiting quietly for me
My two hands were also shaking
But what can I give you?
I'm just somebody he forgets.
And that made my heart instantly empty
I will embed you in my heart
Maybe someday later
a dream will grow from within

I don't know, I don't understand, I don't want
Why has my heart done this?
I actually wanted to come closer to you
but in the end I stayed along till dawn
I don't know, I don't understand, I don't want
Why has my heart been this way?
the beauty of love is always in loneliness
I will give you the best of my love

Thank you for being so gentle
the light with a smile
it only warms me up
but doesn't disturb my winter
I still haven't decided where to go yet
so I can't promise to let you accompany me
because I'm afraid you'll be like me
I will embed you in my heart
Maybe someday later
a dream will grow from within

I don't know, I don't understand, I don't want
Why has my heart done this?
I actually wanted to come closer to you
but in the end I stayed along till dawn
I don't know, I don't understand, I don't want
Why has my heart been this way?
the beauty of love is always in loneliness
I will give you the best of my love

Thank you for being so gentle
the light with a smile
it only warms me up
but doesn't disturb my winter
I still haven't decided where to go yet
so I can't promise to let you accompany me
because I'm afraid you'll be like me
I will embed you in my heart
Maybe someday later
a dream will grow from within

I don't know, I don't understand, I don't want
Why has my heart done this?
I actually wanted to come closer to you
but in the end I stayed along till dawn
I don't know, I don't understand, I don't want
Why has my heart been this way?
the beauty of love is always in loneliness
I will give you the best of my love

HAPPY 999!

2009-09-09T18:59:00.005-05:00

Wow, so much has happened since I came home...

Jaebeom left 2PM, the age of girlbands has begun, GD's solo CD hit top charts, AND DANIELA IS ROOMING HERE FOR LIKE A WEEK! :D The only bad thing about that is that she's a bit of a neat freak, and I'm a walking mess. My theory is that organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
So mom said to me this morning: "Before you send in your college applications, why don't you take all of that Chinese junk off of your Facebook? You look like a brainless twit."
WHAT
THE
FUCK.
Sorry mom, but número uno, it's not just Chinese because there's Korean, Taiwanese, and Japanese stuff on there too. And dos, this "junk" you speak of is an artist's expression of their very being, this music is an extension of their human souls. Tres, there's nothing on my Facebook that any college will dislike, rather they will be impressed by my global interests and will like the face that I take interest in cultures other than my own: I know that there's more to the world than "ZOMG AMERICA IS PWNING TEH WORLD." Finalmente, my Facebook, unlike yours, is set on PRIVATE, so nobody can read anything without my okay.

SO, suck it. I ain't taking nothing off of my Facebook.

I'm sort of ashamed that my mom can be so closed-minded and stereotypical, being Danish and all...

But no mind, nadie necesita comprender a mi todo el tiempo. The world may never understand me, but I'm cool with that. If there's one thing I learned in Denmark, it's that I need to accept myself before the world can accept me.

On that note, I've decided to try something new this year, I'm helping Miki-hime do the costumes for the drama department's fall play: "Flowers for Algernon." Never read the book, all I know is that I have to deal with the lead character's actor having dreadlocks. Yaaaay. At least doing the costumes is fun!

Erin also wants to start up the astronomy club again (YAY STAR NERDS! :D), which I'm all game for, that stuff looks great on college resumés. The only thing is that it's a hard club to maintain, plan, and recruit new members for... hope I'm up to the challenge! The sweatshirts are a great bonus too, I'd join just for those!

The whole college crunch is really starting to set in, I have to retake my ACTs, get the rest of my recommendation letters in, and fill out my applications. This bites the big one, I have seriously no time for anything fun anymore taking into account AP English, work, costumes, astronomy club and college stuff.

Time to go put up more posters~!

Danish Diary Entry no.5

2009-08-24T16:38:00.002-05:00

Friday was the start of 'Family Weekend,' a rather exciting but nerve-wrecking day for me. You see, I was set supposed to spend the day with my mom's brother, Lennart, and my cousin Emilie. I hadn't seen my cousin in TEN YEARS, and she's a lot different than I remember from when we were little, so I was a little nervous as to the two of us being together again.
So Lennart and Emilie came down to Dronningmøle, and the five of us had some coffee and cakes, talking a bit and getting comfortable. Emilie and I were obviously a bit awkward at first, with her purple hair and lip piercing, and my dorky Old Navy jeans and big glasses. After listening to my grandparents and uncle make small talk and discuss politics and whatnot, I put my weekend bag in the car, said goodbye, and rode with Lennart and Emilie to Roskilde. The car ride was filled with my uncle's funny jokes, and me talking about everyone back home. In Roskilde, we saw an old church, and stopped at a little outdoor cafe for lunch. I spent some quality time connecting with Emilie, talking about school, work, fashion, and everything normal teenage girls discuss. Even though the two of us hadn't been together for a decade, it appeared to everyone else that we'd grown up side by side.
We then drove out to the FAAAAR end of the countryside to visit my great-aunt Kate, dubbed 'The Hippie.' Reasons for this nickname are quite obvious and self explanatory (Mommy warned me not to touch, smell, pick, eat, or bring on the plane ANYTHING growing in her 'herb garden'). We spent about an hour there, eating Danish lemon tarts (nothing homemade, of course), and assuring Auntie Kate that I don't have a boyfriend nor do I need her to set me up with a Danish pothead thank you very much. Aunt Kate said that I wasn't rebellious enough....DOES THIS WOMAN KNOW WHO SHE BE TALKIN' TO?? xD
After leaving Aunt Kate's, sans-any funny smelling sustances, the three of us went grocery shopping fo dinner. Let me tell you, a Tikotzki, a Jacobsen, and a Tick in a grocery store...not a quiet, calm combination! We ran around, making weird noises, talking in strange accents, throwing food around, and just causing enough general chaos to get a few weird stares.
We then drove to the new Tikotzki residence of my uncle, aunt, and younger cousins in Holbæk, where I got to be Santa Claus and get re-aquainted with Victoria and Oliver. We had dinner, danced to some new CDs (courtesy of mommy to Lennart), and watched 'Talent' (the Danish rendition of 'America's Got Talent') before Lennart drove Emilie home. I spent my night in the 'Lene Suite.'
The next morning was spent walking around inner Holbæk shops helping my aunt and uncle pick out gifts for everyone. Afterwards, I spent some quality time with Oliver and Victoria: we broke some language barriers, played on the trampoline, built a fort, and they helped me overcome a huge fear: DANISH DISNEY CHANNEL. (Still makes me shiver)
On Sunday, we drove into København to take part in the ultimate dorky turista experience: CHEESY CANAL TOUR. We met up with Nichlas, the giant, and Emilie, my new BFF, and then proceeded to seat ourselves between dorky Italian tourists. The bigger cousins and I spent more of the our cracking jokes, made fun of Emilie picking her brother's teeth, and talking in funny accents than paying attention to the tour guide. It was good to see that my big cousins had that happy attitude I loved and remembered. After the boat tour, we went to a small pizza shop (where Emilie's ex-boyfriend worked) and got sandwiches. We sat in the park, people watching, listening to Nik's crazy college-boy antics, and just spending quality time catching up.
After parting from my awesome cousins, we went back to the house and lazed around:the kids napped, and I attempted to tackle my summer reading. We watched 'Man of the Year,' but nobody really liked it much.
Monday was school for the kiddies so I said goodbye to Victoria early, and accompanied Oliver to Kindergarden. It was Oliver's birthday, so I helped Lisbeth bring the homemade cake to his classmates and took pictures: they sang, gave a class gift, ate some cake, and raised the Danish flag. I said goodbye to my last cute little cousin and auntie, Lennart and I made the long drive back to Dronningmøle. We stopped to get schwarma for lunch, and had a lot of time to really talk a lot of things out, a BIG deal for two goofballs like us. We then stopped by his friend, the jewler, to pick up some last gifts for my family. He insisted that I have a present from him, so I got my very first Danish Skagen watch, which I absolutely love and will take good care of. When I got home, we walked to a local store to buy some postcards for my friends back home.
Tuesday was shopping and finishing day, Morfar and I went to see an old monastary which used to be the biggest building in Northen Europe. We then proceeded to buy all of the various snacks I listed to bring home: remoulade, solbært tea, franskevafflen, and of course, LOTS OF LICORICHE.
We then went to Hornbæk to buy some Tshirts for the family, and then watched some more sappy British soaps.
I REALLY don't want to go home yet. ;(

Danish Diary Entry no.4

2009-08-19T15:01:00.002-05:00

So, Monday was kind of a day for me to get over my train trauma. Mormor and I went to the beach where we sat together and taked about her childhood, my mom and uncle growing up, and a bit about myself. It was nice to just have some time for the two of us to talk and try to understand each other better. We must have sat there for an hour, just spending time trying to fix the rift that had developed between us. Then we drove through town a bit, going to the smaller houses and older buildings.
On Tuesday, we went to various little grocery stores, trying regional specialty foods. My mom had suggested that I try the Danish variation of fish 'n chips, and my grandparents wanted to buy it pre-packaged at a GROCERY store! I insisted that we go get it fresh from a stand on the docks, and no other way was acceptable. I didn't want to sound demanding, but if you're going to be eating something tha fattening, it must be eaten properly. So we went down to the docks at Gilileje, and ordered it fresh from the friers on the grill. I must say, if I had died on the spot, I'd go straight to heaven. Happiness is a basket of fried fish and potatoes, NO FORGETTING THE REMOULADE!!! :D Afterwards we did some more driving and walking around the area, seeing churches and buildings.
Wednesday morning, Morfar and I got up extra early to go to the local store for an early-bird discount on shirts for Mormor. We waited early in the mornin for about twenty minutes, and when the doors opened, we realized that we'd read the wrong date in the paper! The discount was on flash drives and printers, not shirts! So Morfar dragged me away from drooling over the gogeous moniters and into the Gilileje harbor to see all the old and new boats that were coming in. We even some some Greenland boats, that was interesting! After we came back and ate some breakfast, we drove through the countryside to get to Fredriksværk, a town founded as a gunowder factory. We drove to a commercial buffalo farm, where I saw my first live buffalo! Quite the experience, here as opposed to in the US. We saw the REAL country side of Denmark, lots of commercial farming and rural homes...very picturesque. We walked around the town and saw the old gun powder factory, now a theater. We then drove to Helsingør, where we ate at an all-you-can eat BBQ grill, and stuffed ourseleves silly. Morfar then showed me the local, summer-only, synagogue. (He's the unofficial caretaker.)
Thursday, we had to take the dog to the vet in Farum for a surgery to remove a gland. Morfar and I drove up, dropped of Tør, and went for KØBENHAVN DAY! We first saw the park where Hans Christian Anderson is buried, and then the Jewish cemetary where most of my family is buried. We then went to the art museum: Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek, where they had a special exhibition on masks from around the world that was fascinating. They also had a fantastic gallery with Danish and French painters, as well as ancient mediterranean art. My favorites were the Degas and Renoir pieces. We then went to the public botanical gardens run by the university. They let you climb to the top of the main greenhouse, humid as back home, but with a fantastic view! I also FINALLY ate my solbært (blackcurrant) sorbet that I waited four years to eat! <3 When we got home after getting the poor dog, I walked by myself to a shop I had seen earlier where they were selling some cool-looking Danish clothing. I spotted a black and purple scarf with stars on it that was selling for about 80 Danish Krøner, so I decided to get myself something nice to remember the trip by. By that time, the weather was so perfect, so I decided to walk by myself to the beach. I didn't swim, (actually good, because later I discovered that the oceanside had a sewage leak @_@) but I spent some time on the sand alone with my thoughts...wondering about a multitude of things, and avoiding getting stepped on by some local horseback riders. xD

Danish Diary no.3/Swedish Diary Special

2009-08-17T04:15:00.003-05:00

Wow....do I have a lot to talk about!

So, Thursday was 'Museum Day.' We drove into main Københaven and saw the city itself with a drive-by tour. I'd seen most of the castles and buildings when I was younger, so instead we went to two museums: The Danish Resistance Museum and The Danish Jewish History Museum. The Danish Resistance Museum showed how the Danish government and people reacted in resistance to Hitler's Nazi occupation of Denmark during WWII. It had a lot of artifacts used by underground groups to sabatoge German operations within the country. The Danish Jewish History Museum obviously discussed Jewish History in Denmark from he 1400s to present day, and the building itself was interestingly constructed. I got to see the royal library and a little more of inner Copenhagen.

Friday was 'Traveling Day.' We took a ferry from Helsingør to Helsingborg, Sweden, and then drove the 2 hours from Helsingborg to Gothenburg (pronounced yoo-teh-bore by the locals). I was spending the Shabbat weekend with my co-worker from camp and friend, Mushky. I met her parents, 5 sisters, and 2 of her 5 brothers. Their house, the chabad house, was situated across from the park, where free music from the sommerkoncerts played from early morning to midnight. I wasn't the only person spending the weekend at the chabad house, two other families stayed there too: first, a Swedish couple who were moving to Israel with their three children, and an Israeli family consisting of a young couple, their two young sons, the husband's two sisters, and the wife's mother, who were touring Europe. This family was not your average yuppie-duppie bunch of Israelis, as I first thought. The husband's and sisters' father, mother, younger brother, and younger sister had been killed by a terrorist's suicude bomb in a Jerusalem cafe, while the two sisters suffered major burn injuries. Seeing the strength and faith of this family made me really think about my own life: wondering if I am happy, if I told the people I loved how much they mean to me, and if I appreciate life's frailty and make the most of it.
Shabbat was a memorable experience in that tiny but cozy home in Sweden, one of the most beautiful I've had.
After Shabbat, Mushky helped me book a train ticket back to Helsingborg, where I'd meet my grandparents and go back to Denmark. The direct trains were all full, so I'd have to stop and switch a few times; I was a bit nervous about doing that on my own, but Mushky reassured me that it'd go fine.

On Sunday, after the other families had left, Mushky and her sister Chava took me through the Gothernburg area, on the metro, and to the boats: where we met her family for a quick boat ride to an island before taking me to the train station.
Then it all began.
We looked at my ticket in the station, and it said I had to switch from a train to a bus in a station called 'Laholm' and then back to a train in 'Angelholm' and then get to Helsingborg. Seemed simple enough. They put me on the train, and said goodbye. The train ride was scenic and pretty, not too bumpy, and only one creepy Swedish man tried to talk to me, but I gave him a mean look and he walked away.
I got to Laholm and got off, looking for a bus. I didn't see one, so I asked a conductor where the bus would be. She told me that I didn't have to take a bus, so I hopped back on.
Then I got to Angelholm. I got off, looking for the train I was supposed to switch to, but it wasn't there. I figured it'd arrive in a few minutes, so I sat and waited. Another train came, but it didn't match the number on my ticket. I asked a conductor when a Heslingborg train would come by, and got some garbled Swedish answer.
So I waited in this seedy and scary station. There was nobody in the station, only ticket machines, and the cafe and bathrooms were closed. I figured a train would come by. So I sat for fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, a half hour, and then an hour. Night fell, I was worried, alone, cold, and I had to pee REALLY badly. I was starting to seriously freak and wonder if my family was worrying about me, and if I'd find a way back.
After a little over an hour, I heard something coming along the tracks. I was thankful to see a train, ANY train, I didn't really care where it was going. It said 'Malmo,' so I figured if I at least made it to Malmo, I'd get to a station with real people who could help me. I got on board, and looked for a conductor. Nobody was on the train except the driver. In all honesty, I was surprised because this meant that there was no way for tickets to be checked: anyone could hitch a free train ride! I looked around for a bathroom, and I thought I spotted one, but the door to the bathrooms were LOCKED! I was so frustrated, I pulled the door open in a Hulk-esque scene, and to my shock found that I hadn't forced open the door to the bathroom, but rather the pilot's room! He started screaming at me in Swedish, so I shut the doors and RAN! I'm lucky he didn't throw me off the train for acting like a terrorist! I found the actual bathroom, but the door there was also locked! Once again, I forced the doors, and was finally able to use the toilet after almost 2 hours. After that I figured that I should ask one of the other passengers where the train was stopping. I found a seat near an older woman, and asked her if she spoke English: she didn't. Through my broken Swedish, I managed to ask if the train was stopping in Helsingborg. To my amazement, she nodded yes, and I screamed for joy and hugged her! How's that for good fortune?
I made it back to my proper, where my poor grandfather was waiting at the platform (six cigarettes and five phone calls he made before I came kept him sane). We determined that my ticket coresponded to the old system during construction on the railroads, and somehow got to me through a bug in the system: I never really had to get off the train! I went home, ate, and fell asleep immediately.
For 180 Swedish Krona, I definitely had an adventure! But I'm staying away from trains until the nightmares stop...

Danish Diary Entry no.2

2009-08-12T11:22:00.002-05:00

Weather is ok....it's been raining a lot...

Last night we watched a French film of 'The Three Musketeers' with Danish subtitles, so you can imagine how much I actually understood! They do have some BBC programming here, as well as American shows, so it's alright.

I met my grandfather's cousin, her husband, and my step-third cousin (iI don't know if that's even how we're related) who's seven from LA. He was the cutest little chatty thing, reminded me of myself at that age! We went to Horbæk, Helsingør (where Hamlet takes place) and Gilleleje today to shop and walk around, it was a good place to take pictures. The owner of one of the stalls was an Israeli guy selling Danish designer bags, so I got something there (and got my horrible Hebrew criticized...AGAIN.) We also went to a pharmacy, and they have free scales (to encourage healthy weight) and free gum (to help people quit smoking). My morfar made me weigh myself, because he was worried that I wasn't eating enough! Typical Jewish grandparents... We checked ticket prices so I can get a train ticket back from Sweden this weekend.

So we're pan-frying fish for dinner, and then we'll walk my new bonde Danish boyfriend to the beach...Tør needs to stop chewing my ankle, though...it gets annoying!

Danish Diary Entry no.1

2009-08-10T11:05:00.002-05:00

So...I'm really here. What a trip it's been so far, but let's start from the beginning...

My flight, the last plane leaving the nternational terminal left O'Hare at 10 PM Central time, so Dad and I made it around 7 PM. We checked in all my crap, but they wouldn't give him a gate pass to walk me through. There was an Royal Jordanian flight leaving that evening too, so the place was swarming with pregnant Muslims! We ate some dinner, then I walked through to security. Leaving Dad was hard, I cried a bit because I've never really done this before.

So I checked myself in, and managed to switch to an aisle seat on an overbooked flight (proof that God exists). When we actually boarded the flight, they took SIX, yes six, headcounts. Some lazy butthole didn't make sure that he was at the right terminal... So we waited almost an hour for this shmo.

As for the flight itself: the toilet made a noise like a gun every time you flushed (and scared me shitless every time), the stewardesses gave me coffee instead of tea, a 2 year-old British kid stole one of my shoes, my neighbor snored, the kosher meals tasted terrible (as expected), and the entire flight was nausiatingly turbulent.

I'd say it was a good plane ride. :D

I only slept for about 2-3 hours of the 8-hour ride, but it was around 1:30 PM Copenhagen time when I arrived, so I felt okay. There were no problems in passkontrol, and my grandparents picked me up as planned. They showed me everything as we drove through the city: kosher butcher, old family-owned shops, cemetaries, etc. We went to the local grocer to pick up some essentials, and back to the house in Drønningmulle.

And there, I met "uncle" Tøre: the half-labrador, half-somethinguberlygigantic doggie. Mormor says he has a crush on me.
I'm expected to take short showers and also not supposed to flush the toilet paper due to plumbing issues.

We spent the afternoon on the porch drinking tea, talking, and shooing Tøre away from the cookies. Now I think I'll watch the news and have a nap.

mmmm~kooken...

Everything

2009-07-30T23:05:00.002-05:00

As a rain shower approaches,
the scent of loneliness is in the air in this town
My shadow on the asphalt
seemed a little different than usual

The world continues to quickly spin
as if to reflect the continually changing sky
onto my trembling heart

A signal changing from red to green
During this journey I can't turn back from
I want to continue on believing in tomorrow
There are times that I stop and look back
as I stand alone in this evening shower
But I'm not afraid of anything

After the rain I can see
sunflowers in the twilight from the window
Dyed by the sunset,
they continue to wait for the morning sun

It seems we could lose sight of
what's important over time, but
I'll continue walking on with my unyielding memories
clutched in my arms

I painted a dream of a limitless future
dyed in a vivid blue
to ease the suffering of my heart
During my limited time [on this earth]
I have etched my memories deep into my heart
The sun will rise again

When I cross this long hill,
no matter what I see in front of me
I don't want to have regrets
I want to keep turning on the light
that shines on tomorrow

A signal changing from red to green
During this journey I can't turn back from
I want to continue on believing in tomorrow
Run, run! Reach your hand out toward your dreams
Yell, yell! As far as your voice will carry
As [much as] your heart tells you

Feel Your Breeze

2009-07-15T21:29:00.000-05:00

I say, Feel your breeze!
Anytime, anywhere in my heart.
Feel your breeze!
Never stop walking now oh~

The number of wounds that won't vanish are increasing;
It's like the wind is piercing me.
Those little worries you keep to yourself,
I'm sure everyone has some now...

Of course, the night is long,
And you sink down deeply.
When the sun rises up in the morning,
Yes, it'll be gleaming.

Someday the future you dreamed of
will be a little different now.
The tears shed for those dreams,
Keep shining without fading.
Your heart will always watch over you
with the feelings that tear your heart apart.
Feel all of your dreams eternally,
overflowing like those summer clouds.

I say, Feel your breeze!
Anytime, anywhere in my heart.
Feel your breeze!
Never stop walking now oh~
There is nothing we cannot do!
You think like that, but...
we usually don't handle things well,
and soon become overwhelmed.

Of course, the dream is far away,
High in the sky and seeming to grow hazy.
But the wind is your feelings,
Gently carrying you along.

Someday the future we dreamed of
Will be so close we can touch it!
The wind will always blow on us;
So, now, let's walk together from here.
Your heart will always watch over you.
with the feelings that tear your heart apart.
I can sense you eternally,
Overflowing like this season.

Tomorrow's Memories

2009-07-15T00:13:00.002-05:00

Wanting to make the sunset I saw with you on that day last forever
Within my memory I reached out to touch you over and over, but

The same scenery and feelings will never return again
So I'll surely turn to look back at the shining dream from my past

Even in the brand new future, sadness spills over
Staining the heart, making everyone stop in place and lose sight of it

In the midst of the changing seasons
What color will we paint tomorrow?
If we can strongly, strongly believe in each other
What color future will be waiting?

Even the most precious memory will fade someday
So I averted my eyes from reality and ran away to hide behind the word "dream"

Even if the broken yesterday was nothing but a mistake
It's not too late, you can start over as many times as it takes

In the midst of the changing ages
How many times will I love someone?
If we can deeply, deeply support each other
What will I be able to do for you?

Piling upon each other deep in my heart
Joy and sadness, warmth and hatred
The days we shared after our chance meeting
Are surely etched into my heart forever

In the midst of the changing seasons
What color will we paint tomorrow?
If we can strongly, strongly believe in each other
What color future will be waiting?

What color will we paint tomorrow?

Stormy Smiles

2009-06-29T23:13:00.002-05:00

So so, there's nothing good happening
Following blindly in this passionate life
Everyday, a fool
Digging my own grave and fall
But my heart seem to still long for something
In this everyday life without emotional feelings
An imaginary hope is "believe in love"
One day, the faith I once stepped on
Because I met you
My blood rushed

Facing the possibilities of breaking down
I can't afford to hesitate
Seeing myself being so weak
I'm very angry
It's just like being alone
Sighing
The blossomed flowers in the clay vase
Looked at me shakily

No matter who it is
We all live by depending on each other
Those innocent true feelings
Will heal our scars

Smile again, thank you
Smile again, in tears
We were born
Maybe the trials in life will make us stronger
Smile again, because you're here
Smile again, I'm happy
Though I've never mentioned it
It's the very first time
I treasure this feeling, which is like the storm

In times of sufferings, lean on me
This be my wish
The love of the most important person
Is a bandage for the heart
Unable to live a normal life like everyone
I guess it's worth complimenting too
You, who saved me
Looked at me the same way

A heart without leisure and tranquillity
I've hurt you without knowing it
But if we learn to forgive
We will become true to ourselves

Smile again, thank you
Smile again, no matter how many times
I feel I'm still able to stand up
My courage is a flowing fountain
Smile again, if there's only one person
Smile again, no one will survive
With perplexed feelings, in faith so true
I pray, that my love will be just like the storm

So so, there's nothing good happening
Following blindly in this passionate life
Everyday, a fool
Digging my own grave and fall
But my heart seem to still long for something
In this everyday life without emotional feelings
An imaginary hope is "believe in love"
One day, the faith I once stepped on
Because I met you
My blood rushed

Smile again, thank you
Smile again, in tears
We were born
Maybe the trials in life will make us stronger
Smile again, because you're here
Smile again, I'm happy
Though I've never mentioned it
It's the very first time
I treasure this feeling, which is like the storm

My Heaven

2009-06-18T15:41:00.001-05:00

Love you girl, only you are my heaven
sing it together
la la la
Go go go…

24/7 If I try going to heaven
24/7 it feels like dreams, heaven
24/7 eternity, heaven
24/7 heaven let’s go

It’s the truth if I say you are my eternal lover
everything in the past is like never let go
never knew that love could come and go just like that yo
waiting for you day and night in my dreams and go
summer flow in the night, take flight and glow
that’s forever love

That “you would be with me tomorrow”, it’s gone
Even though we had great times together, why have you gone
Love has always failed to grab my hands
Only you somehow are a little different
I always felt this was fate
From now on...
you’re the only one in my life

I want to see you, I want to see you
I’m waiting for you by that sea
My feelings for you
Whether it’s the morning, the afternoon, or the evening
I want to see you, you are my heaven

happiness・・・sadness・・・tears・・・

sky・・・stars・・・and my heaven

Only you are missing
But the world is so colorless
The depth of the damage is immeasurable
Those lips of that days are still warm
But even if I keep remembering them, I’m at loss of knowing what to do

Oh baby, memories of you are still in my heart
Oh baby, your messages still remain on my body
So that this unable-to-cool-down heat can be stopped
Oh baby, the cold rain is falling

Because of you

Please don’t vanish, don’t vanish
Please stop the time at that summer
I’m still holding those memories, whether it’s autumn, winter, or spring
For eternity, you are my heaven

Hey, hey, listen to me

Finally the message came
There’s only “I’m sorry”, I really don’t understand at all
Just one more time, come to my side, smiling like those times

I want to see you, I want to see you
I’m waiting for you by that sea
My feelings for you
Whether it’s the morning, the afternoon, or the evening
I want to see you, you are my heaven

24/7 My heaven

Lonely Sprint

2009-06-07T13:27:00.004-05:00

The scenery here is called "once loved"
Once existed your caress and gentleness
Tearing the ticket stub, wandering alone...
The price is the anguish of missing you
You said be friends, but we are not friends
We are more unfamiliar with each other than strangers
After re-building the ruins of my emotions Who will come visit occasionally?

I stand at the road of memories
Walking into the loneliness of my left chest
Naked and conspicuous disappointment
The transparent pain I can't say I am tired
It's because I am too fragile
I follow fate's arrow Helplessly, inexorably moving on to the next person's warmth
I haven't loved you enough
Yet you want me to let go
In Time's secret garden
You never left

I said I love you too freely
So freely, I looked like I was just saying it
I never loved the view of our future
I only miss your everything

I stand at the road of memories
Walking into the loneliness of my left chest
Naked and conspicuous disappointment
The transparent pain I can't say I am tired
It's because I am too fragile
I follow fate's arrow
Helplessly, inexorably moving on to the next person's warmth
I haven't loved you enough
Yet you want me to let go
In Time's secret garden
You never left

My love for you and thoughts of you,
Move extremely quickly toward memories
All they could see was a fake calmness

I stand at the road of memories
Walking into the loneliness of my left chest
Naked and conspicuous disappointment
The transparent pain
I can't say I am tired
It's because I am too fragile
I follow fate's arrow
Helplessly, inexorably moving on to the next person's warmth
I haven't loved you enough
Yet you want me to let go
In Time's secret garden
You never left

Something More Important Than Words

2009-05-24T18:02:00.002-05:00

The cut off melody repeated so many times that we’ll never forget it
Because there is something more important than words right here

In the strong wind there is absolutely no reason to try to force a smile on your face
Fragments of distorted dreams that scatter upon the pavement in ruins

I wonder what song it is that expresses out love though we try to act cool
Well, let’s get on with our lives

The transparent melody hides in our chests so as not to get lost
Because there is something more important than words right here
Wow wow wow wow

Even though I truly feel like I can see it or touch it, the ideals are out of reach
In the end I became a complainer who didn’t let you see my cry because of the pain of weakness

Now we can take our life-sized smiles and use them to change every future day
These hopes we call our lives

We will throw our dreams into the distant sky and wipe away our tears,
Because our hearts are more likely to give us the answer than words will
Wow wow wow wow

For example, if our stories play a tune,
The dawn of that time will dance down and separate the two of us
Even if we are to part, leaving behind the words, “See you again”
I will still have had that one summer with you

The clouds give way to a splendid day without questioning where they are going
There could never be a love as great as yours
The cut off melody repeated so many times that we’ll never forget it
Because it is something more important than words I sent it to you
Wow wow wow wow

Day By Day

2009-05-20T22:30:00.002-05:00

Leave
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me

My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind My heart vanished like smoke
It can’t be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
Say goodbye

Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on longer than I thought
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless

What is it about that person next to you, did she make you cry?
Dear, can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…

If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

Always be happy with her, so I won’t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous

You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day

I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live on
Those tears will dry completely

As time passes by
It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you

Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day

Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don’t lie, lie
You’re my heart, say goodbye

Don't U Ever Stop

2009-05-11T15:33:00.002-05:00

No one knows this story, I'll tell you it slowly
I'm not good at saying it, but you are not alone.

Unforgettable feelings, this confusion..
I'll embrace it all and leave.

The flower of you bloomed in the corner of this treacherous town.
Honestly, I really wanted a night that I felt you

Don't you ever stop, you know it, don't stop
Fate is (don't stop) digesting every single one of us.
Stop, you are hurting me, Top
I was confused..admiring this town.

We'll count the nights we spent here together
This is our final romance, so let's look straight at it.

Don't you ever stop.

I wanna tell u secrets.
A one-time-only party starts tonight (tonight..)
There's nothing to lose, we can't go back
We'll risk it all - let show begin!

The flower of you is fluttering in the back alley of hesitation
Not saying what you know is just void and pointless.

Don't you ever stop, you know it, don't stop
Fate is (don't stop) digesting every single one of us.
Stop, you are hurting me, Top
from the day we set out

Don't you ever stop...

Are you Ready?
Hell yeah!!

From corner to corner, there were no remnants of greatness
Of course, we all know that greatness is born within
Bang bang, try stopping that blazing flame
Swallow the tense breaths of truth, cry it out, than be silent

Yeah, bear the rising sun's standard
Lock on living the Rock way
The pitiful adults we've pictured as kids
"Anybody Home?"
"KNOCK, KOCK, KNOCK!"

Don't you ever stop, you know it, don't stop
Fate is (don't stop) digesting every single one of us.
Stop, you are hurting me, Top
from the day we set out

Let's honestly fix our eyes on the future...

Don't you ever stop.... STOP!

9095

2009-03-31T07:47:00.001-05:00

The manager who seems obliging guides us by saying 'this way',
Turning on the light on the long hallway, she says 'Red to the right',
The destroyed revolving door; blissful artifical flowers on the floor,
I passed the setted wall as if I energy to pass through it

Where're you going baby?
I wait on this chair; don't open your eyes until I count to seven

Pret un, the dewdrops of night on your neck; to the extent that you lost your voice,
Deux, from the mechanical treets to between your fingers,
Trois, the spider web which entangles and entangles like this, continously,
The sandclock which started to go backwards to 9095

The noise that echoes throughout the long hallway, 'Have we met before?',
'The blue to the left of the red',
The rusted angel's wings; yesterday's dream that has been deferred,,
Concealing your eyes from the direction of the claps

Who are you? Tell me baby,
You won't show it to anyone, even if you put your hands on the mirror

Et quatre, the scent of nostalgia even on your back, your hot breath,
Cinq, the eyes which rise even in the darkness; if it's not permitted,
Six, if your tears are reviving, then somehow,
The remains which slowly come to live in 9095

Don't try to find anything more than this for I'll be by your side,
Even though you can't go back once you have opened your eyes,
If you still like it then, silently,

Pret un, the dewdrops of night on your neck; to the extent that you lost your voice,
Deux, from the mechanical treets to between your fingers,
Trois, the spider web which entangles and entangles like this, continously,
The sandclock which started to go backwards to 9095

Et quatre, the scent of nostalgia even on your back, your hot breath,
Cinq, the eyes which rise even in the darkness; if it's not permitted,
Six, if your tears are reviving, then somehow,
The remains which slowly come to live in 9095

Stay With You

2009-03-24T08:07:00.001-05:00

The wind blowing through is swaying the new green curtain
One petal drops down, decorating your face.

What should I say? I want to say something but I can't
I am like a broken watch, a useless clock. I can't step over myself.

Even though I just want to hold your shaking shoulders tight close to me.

I just wanna stay with you
Don't cry alone.
I can dry up those tears like I can be your sunshine forever
If you have a wound that cannot be healed
We can change it to a bond, a link, while you only look at the future and at me
We can be together forever.

The clear sky and sun is like giving you a smile.
The closed window
I keep on knocking on your door

Miracles can't happen if you hesitate like that
I just wanna stay with you
I wanna tell you now.
I promise if I can be your one, you will remember your smile again
I love you from the bottom of my heart.
I will never leave you
I'll be there for you when you need me because I love you
I think I heard the lock being opened just now.

I just wanna stay with you
Don't cry alone.
I can dry up those tears like I can be your sunshine forever
If you have a wound that cannot be healed
We can change it to a bond, a link, while you only look at the future and at me
We can be together forever.

Believe

2009-03-03T19:27:00.002-06:00

No matter how far we go, we can't outrun it
Even if time goes on, it won't go away
Then, how far do we have to struggle along before we realize
The memories of that faraway day?

If we look at the sky at dawn
It's a brand new world
Gazing at the single shining star in our dreams
Because we will take back the dreams we'd lost
Time and time again to each passing day
We don't need a world of lies and deceit
It's within our grasp

That's right, we're always waiting
No matter how long it takes, we wait
Because the dream that we're always hold in our hearts
On the road that goes on forever
Will surely come true
We'll go on, crying, laughing

Unable to reach the end of the night in which we felt
A sudden feeling of loneliness, no matter how long it takes
I challenged the sky,
Why do tears fall like this?

Pursuing passion all the time
It's a brand new world
Because we had found the light
In the days that darkened in pain
Shines on a single destination
Thoroughly paving the way
We don't need a future that taints our pride
It's within our grasp

That's right, someone is surely waiting
Waiting, wishing to tell us something
We'll continue on the endless road
Shouting ourselves hoarse as we
Endlessly chase after that dream
That shines as it shows our future

The hope of wanting to be touched by a love that goes on forever
Overflowing in you and I
The love within this heart, The love within this heart
Each and every one of them, Each and every one of them
Confirm the meaning why we were born

We're always waiting, waiting, waiting

That's right, we're always waiting
No matter how long it takes, we wait
Because the dream we're always holding in our hearts
On that endless road
Will surely come true
We'll continue on, crying, laughing

That's right, someone is surely waiting
Waiting, wishing to tell us something
We'll continue on that endless road
Shouting ourselves hoarse as we
Endlessly chase after that dream
That shines as it shows our future

This is the movement
Looking for my life
I can find myself
It's a brand new world
This is the movement
Looking for my life
I can find myself
This is the movement

Bolero

2009-02-24T19:39:00.003-06:00

The floating darkness of the month when you saw your dream to dance on stage
a deep, deep wound of the chest
Being alone has no end
nobody to bother you, you are good,
you excel at what you do

Tell me, sing for me, before leaving,
spread your wings and play the bolero

To soar, to glide,
find a place where your sadness will be healed

inside a dark room,
a window of sentiments is overflowing
Under the moonlight,
the dream of becoming stronger is a possibility,
as you engrave your rhythm's aspiration
Dream to become stronger,
you fly freely because you flap your wings
Nobody knows where to find the answers

Tell me, sing for me, before leaving,
spread your wings and play the bolero
To soar, find a place,
where your sadness will be healed

Oh~
Let you dance away
Don't you worry, don't you know
I'll stand by your side
Ah~
Fly away, Fly away, Fly away, Fly to the top
Fly forever
Yeah, yeah, yeah~

Eternally,
you continue to shine
Watching over attentively,
for your admired future
Where to go
as I continue to hope and carry dreams,
I will always to protect you

Sing for me,
in radiance,
in misery,
with passion and sparkle in bolero
You are not facing these alone
soar high until the end,
until your last breath of life.

This place is your home,
We have each other...

Beautiful Life

2009-02-19T18:09:00.002-06:00

What's wrong with me?
From the moment I met you, I'm not happy living on my own
Without you, I'll die... oh baby...
Don't wanna live by no one else's design
The joy I feel each and every day is because of you

I wish to be with you eternally
We don't need a reason for love
There's nothing in the world that compares to this happiness
I love my beautiful ordinary life...with you

Even though we don't do anything during the day
If we spend it together, that's fine
Even if the place isn't special, I like it because you're there
Don't wanna live my life any other way
As time goes on, we grow closer
The two of us and our life together endures

I wish to be with you eternally
We don't need a reason for love
There's nothing in the world that compares to this happiness
I love my beautiful ordinary life...with you

Your sleeping face, the face you make when angry
Your face, free of lies... I love all of your unique features
However your appearance, you're more beautiful than anyone else

I wish to be with you eternally
We don't need a reason for love
There's nothing in the world that compares to this happiness
I love my beautiful ordinary life...with you

Maze

2009-02-18T19:46:00.002-06:00

What is "freedom"? What is "correct"?
I have a strange dream, a wandering shadow...
It seems I can see it but I can't see anything at all; it's an illusion

Being left behind in the hectic everyday,
Depressed and in a distorted time-line
Rush ahead! Fly through the strong wind
To a place that's suffused in light and offers hope
Picking up the pieces of a dream I once had,
I'll keep running down the path I believe in

In order to live true to myself

Shouldering the burden of both sins and retribution,
My spirit has withered away
The pouring rain soaks me,
As though it would wash away this destiny of hatred

I'm just wandering alone in this intricate maze
Searching for the place I belong

Fly high! Embrace the blazing passion that flames know
Enough to tear the sky

Standing firmly on the rubble of lies,
In order to discover a yet unknown world
"Don't be afraid"
Crying out, from the bottom of my heart

To be "me"...

Rush ahead! Fly through the strong wind
To a place that's suffused in light and offers hope
Picking up the pieces of a dream I once had,
I'll keep running down the path I believe in

To live true to myself, I'll keep on running

Galaxy Eyes

2009-02-02T18:43:00.002-06:00

I wonder why we make wishes on shooting stars
Even though they disappear far away into space
The wish you whispered beneath the night sky may be short-lived

Our heartbeats were added together in the wind
We tasted of peppermint and tears
You hold my hand as if you’re afraid you’ll disappear
Even though “forever” is not reality

If you were lost in this vast galaxy,
I would search anywhere and everywhere for the small light
And I would become a constellation to be beside you
I want to gaze for ever and ever into your galaxy-like eyes

I wonder why I love you like the Big Bang
The heartache spreads and my chest hurts
It is quite selfish, but you hide your eyes
I wonder if night is made for love

We ran and jumped through the breeze that had a “no entry” sign
We felt as if we had freedom in our hands
You smiled, wondering if it were okay
Follow me, let’s create a secret

That’s right, you and I met in the middle of the galaxy
We’ll believe, we’ll believe in the legend of the stars we once heard
I’m sure you’ll be the goddess in my world
I want to look after you, look after you and embrace your galaxy-like eyes

Uncountable sadness
And uncountable gladness, shining stars

If you were lost in this vast galaxy,
I would search anywhere and everywhere for the small light
And I would become a constellation to be beside you
I want to gaze for ever and ever into your galaxy-like eyes

"O"-Thesis.Antithesis.Synthesis.

2009-01-22T19:36:00.002-06:00

[ Thesis ]
So tell me, what do you think about the way things are?
There are no principles nor standards nor absolute truth.
You're struggling to understand what justice and truth is.
An ideal that does not exist in reality is just an image. "O"

[ Antithesis ]
"O..." I'm afraid, you feel. It's your opposition.
"O..." Utopia is forever elusive.

[ Synthesis ]
All we seek now is effort for the sake of harmony
Let us join hands and shout together.
People who thirst for this dream to be realized...
Gather courage in the form of righteousness!

You know! Check it, check yo!
Irrational disputes, flying at each other.
Here we go, right now! An open mind yo! Open mind!
That's how we'll find a resolution.
I gotta go, gotta go, gotta make my opposition righteousness, rightly justice, till it's right.
The effort of Thesis. Antithesis. Synthesis. will someday make the dream bloom on this earth.

[ Thesis ]
When everyone works towards even a small dream,
Things will change. We just have to pave the road.
I mustn't hinder the flow of progress with the weight of my opposition.
We can coexist at any time!

[ Antithesis ]
"O..." I don't know why, I'm still afraid. Am I doing this the right way?
"O..." We struggle towards our destination.

Always believing that a growing harmony
Will surely be acheived.
Someday, like a blooming flower,
wouldn't it brighten the earth?
Thesis!
Antithesis!
Synthesis!
Burdened by scars, it seems you face trials in the dark.
Even if you start to feel like retreating,
No matter what, don't stop! Don't stop!

[ Antithesis ]
"O..." Don't be afraid. Keep going on for life,
"O..." All the way, until there's nothing left.

[ Synthesis ]
All we seek now is effort for the sake of harmony
Let us join hands and shout together.
People who thirst for this dream to be realized...
Gather courage in the form of righteousness!

[ Thesis ]
In this society, people go about
Offering neither right nor left hand. We just have to pave the road,
Nothing can stop us. Silence the doubts--Ah!

Phrasing of the lyrics is arranged as follows:
[ Thesis ] This is the state of affairs. Something needs to be done about it to make things right again.
[ Antithesis ] It will be difficult, no doubt, and you will struggle against inner opposition/fear. Fight against it.
[ Synthesis ] But if we come together and work towards it, harmony can be achieved.

Blood Triangle

2008-12-31T00:54:00.002-06:00

It's the same case everyday...a place that produces an endless amount of deaths.
Did compassion disappear from this land?

I won't see it anymore. I won't hear of the crashing reality.
Don't calculate everything by its worth...people are an important existence.

Tears of blood are falling again because of our dulled hearts.
What will motivate me now?
Like the things that once filled our worlds with beauty,
the dreams we had for the future died.

No one can take it.
There are no tears to shed.
I can't take the pain that is penetrating deeply through my bones.

You've got the Power! You have the power to make things right.
Don't waste, and light the talks that concern humanity.

I don't know, why hate this moment.
People are not saying it's boring...Why do you tell me Lies?

Tears of blood are falling again because of our dulled hearts.
What will motivate me now?
Like the things that once filled our worlds with beauty,
the dreams we had for the future died.

Look at the eyes of the ones you love.
Don't you see their happiness?
Tell them that this world is full of valuable things.

What do I do? I am standing silently in front of the things that people have thrown away. This is not right.
What do I do? I'm diseased...I can't bear to just stand still and watch this happen.

Someday, one day.
next to the problems that you have thrown away, you were left behind and I was left behind.
Don't observe other people's pains with joy! It will become a boomerang.
One Flow, we want the flow, we got the flow we want the flow.
I got the flow, Show, Now I'm growling on earth
What do you want to show us? Is it so funny? I say no!

We don't want it anymore...
I believe that you can change it,
even in the darkness, all the way to the end of the sword

No one can take it.
There are no tears to shed.
I can't take the pain that is penetrating deeply through my bones.

Show us the pain of your broken hearts
So that I can help you...show me the road.
Like the things that fill this world with beauty
we have to make it so that we will treasure this place.

Purple Line

2008-12-29T12:46:00.003-06:00

Now I see this way
It looks like purple line
Gotta introduce myself

I can’t even feel this world,
seized by these suspicions
There are times I cannot even take a step forwards
Really wanna get in touch with myself,
even though I wish for a miracle
Without a strong heart, I can’t move forward
Right now!

Purple line, let me set up my world!
No one else has ever walked this way
Embrace your dreams and keep searching for the way to live
My progression to be “me”
With your strong feelings in hand, show that you can seize victory
A purple line of passion

When challenges assail me,
my heart becomes completely out of my control
But I won’t run away if this is what it takes to grow
As I say this to myself,
I’ll overcome it all, right now!

Purple line, let me set up my world!
No one else has ever walked this way
Embrace hope, keep gazing toward the future
Into my progression, I’ll put my wishes
I’ll never give up
A purple line of truth

As we engrave this moment on our hearts
Let’s paint time like a movie
To find a “now” that’s worth more than the yesterdays,
Imagine an evolving premonition… oh-oh

Yo! Check it!
This way of thinking, like all is lost
You must be loving your way
Because we must move forward
Let me, with my strength help you
Such as things that you do
Keep on working like that
Only your goal will decide
Then we’ll hurl into our past
And show you what’s between

The world’s contrasts:
black and white, light and darkness, like south and north
Good and evil are smiling, beckoning me
In order to follow the path I believe
My soul will keep shouting out
We gotta purple like that. My time is still going on...

Heartbreak Hotel

2008-12-27T21:58:00.003-06:00

I'm probably the stupidest person alive.
I let the same guy break my heart three times.
We'd talked and been friendly for three years now, and he shot me down three times: once, when I told him that I liked him during Freshman year, once again when I asked him to homecoming Sophomore year, and again this year on the day after Christmas.
You know how sometimes you think you've found the person who fits you perfectly, who you accept as they are and seems to understand you? I had that, and it turned out that he liked my mind, but not my body.
He: I'm not sexually attracted to you. I can never picture us together.
Me: Wait, you like my personality, but not my physical looks?
I hate men.
I really have given up on the possibility of a working high school relationship anywhere in my near future. I should probably get my head out of the clouds and put more focus into my studies.
I really wish I had more to talk about, but this is the most pressing matter on my mind. My resolution for the new year is to stop worrying about boys and find other outlets. I need to assert my status as a strong, independent woman who does not need a boyfriend to make her complete.
Happy new year.

How Could I Let Myself Fall For You?

2008-12-27T21:54:00.003-06:00

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed
I still thought you were right here
But you've already chosen a different path

Why couldn't I call out to you at all?
Every day and night growing emotions
And words overflow
But I realized that
They'd never reach you again

Since that day I first met you
I felt like I already knew you
You and I melded into each other so smoothly

It was natural for me to be where you were
The two of us grew together
But you have already chosen a different path

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed
I still thought you were right here
Now we can't turn back

You said we weren't meant to be
You turned away and ran from me
As I saw you leave me behind
I could not help but ask myself "why?"

You did not want me by your side
Standing through all that would come
How could I let you pass me by?
Why could I not let go?

Why did I end up falling for you?
How we were before
We cannot return to it anymore
I've thought it through, thought it through

Why didn't I hold on to your hand?
No matter how much time has passed
You should have always been by my side
My feelings have never changed
I still love you

But still, even if I'm nowhere near you anymore
I am praying that you shall never be sad
May you be happy for eternity
No matter how much that would make me lonely
No matter how lonely...

A Tearful Star (Inspired by Arashi's "Namida no Nagareboshi")

2008-12-17T18:37:00.004-06:00

Look at the sky, you can see a star
It's just simply there, beautifully shining

Listen to the stars, can you hear them?
They're just simply there, softly twinkling

I wish upon a shooting star that you will wipe your tears
I just want you to be here, smiling gently

Look at the sky, the day breaks
Right here, right now, a new day is beginning

I want to protect that smile of yours, which is bathed in the sun's light
Right here, right now, I want to hold hands and keep on walking

Let me walk with you, so beautiful and radiant.
Put your warm hand in mine.

I wish upon a shooting star that you will wipe your tears
I just want you to be here, smiling gently

Look at the sky, the day breaks
Right here, right now, a new day is beginning

Now when you gaze into the sky, you can see that star
In it's place, never wanting to stop beautifully shining

Look at the sky, the day breaks
Right here, right now, a new day is beginning

A new day I can face
When we walk together.

You're My Melody

2008-12-15T20:21:00.003-06:00

When I close my eyes,
I hear the quiet sounds which are audible.
Your feelings, your small thoughts.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t hear you over to the unnecessary sounds of my heart.
The times of tears is now history, so don’t worry,
Because...

You’re my melody, I’ll carry you on and on.
You’re my song, my life’s soundtrack.
I love you, for you brighten up my life’s stage.
I’ll continue to sing you, you’re my song.

The times when my pride didn’t want to say "I’m sorry,"
My heart was extremely poor.
Will you come to me when my spirit is drying up?
When I’m about to break down?
Even the saddest times have an end just like a song,
Because...

It’s your love, your overflowing love, how you showed me love.
You’re my rhythm, my life’s present.
Please become the beautiful dream of my life timelessly.
I’ll continue to sing you, you’re my song.

The numerous sad love songs,
Although they seem to be about us,
You’re the most special person right now by my side.
When you close your eyes, the sounds you hear, your heart,
I’ll sing them now.

You’re my melody, I’ll carry you on and on.
You’re my song, my life’s soundtrack.
I love you, for you brighten up my life’s stage.
I’ll continue to sing you, you’re my song.

It’s your love, your overflowing love, how you showed me love.
You’re my rhythm, my life’s present.
Please become the beautiful dream of my life timelessly.
I’ll continue to sing you, you’re my song.

It’s your love, your overflowing love, how you showed me love,
You’re my rhythm, my life’s present,
Please become the beautiful dream of my life timelessly,
I’ll continue to sing you, you’re my song...

The Sinful Sun

2008-12-10T20:28:00.002-06:00

It's the sinful sun!

Just for a second, won't you show me?
I'm falling down from your sexy pheromones.

Ah, it looks like I'm going to touch you,
but I can't!
Little by little, my pulse gets faster,
I can't be stopped!

Memories of the words that we exchanged are far off,
trembling with the movement of my mouth.
I stroked your wet hair, and ah~

Not continuing on from ABC, you can't do that.
But aren't things different inside of your heart?
My youth, there's no such thing.
I want to finish it off passionately,
inside of me.
I definitely don't want to be without you,
I'm the sinful sun, na na~

A "red thread" is a pipe dream,
but I want to believe in my motives.
I'm right, you're right too; but anyway,
I won't be controlled anymore.

Deceiving and being deceived,
my heart aches.
A terrible drama brings the night to a climax,
Our breaths meet each other's ears, ah~

Not continuing on from ABC, you can't do that.
But aren't things different inside of your heart?
My youth, there's no such thing.
I want to finish it off passionately,
inside of me.
I definitely don't want to be without you,
I'm thesinful sun, na na~

Memories of the words that we exchanged are far off,
trembling with the movement of my mouth.
I stroked your wet hair, and ah~

Not continuing on from ABC, you can't do that.
But aren't things different inside of your heart?
My youth, there's no such thing.
I want to finish it off passionately,
inside of me.
I definitely don't want to be without you,
I'm the sinful sun.
Our threads are entangled,
a red thread binds you and I together.
Na na~

Picture of You

2008-12-04T17:44:00.002-06:00

After the after glow sets,
I’m going towards you,
Following the lights which turn on one by one.

I’ll embrace you,
Before the cold wind makes your shoulders flinch.

I love you,
The foolish you,
You’re so precious to me.

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
All the dreams I’ve prayed for,
They’re going towards you with my sincere scent.

I hope that my wishes of smiling next to you every new morning,
Will be able to come true.

I’ll wait for you,
I’ll never let go of your hands.
Even if it’s only tears,
I’ll wipe them away for you.

Although we are not able to see the end,
No matter how bumpy our road is,
I’ll promise you, please be mine.

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
All the dreams I’ve prayed for,
They’re going towards you with my sincere scent,
More than the air I breathe.

‘I love you’ ‘You’re the only one’,
I want to yell those words out into the sky.
I love you, my heart feels like bursting,
And my soul calls out to you.

No matter how many times they find us,
No matter if we can’t breathe,

Like those invisible flower-like smiles,
Which shine just like the stars,
I’ll keep your beauty safe.

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
I love you, I love you,
You’re the most beautiful in this world,
This dream-like heart,
More than the air I breathe.

Love in the Ice

2008-11-25T13:58:00.002-06:00

Your small, cold hands and trembling lips.
Able to carry on as if nothing has happened.

Are you afraid of remembering someone?
Struggling to swallow the words bubbling up to your lips.

Your back view resembles falling white snow.
Melting bit by bit.

Just like the star that doesn’t leave the dark night sky,
We’ll carry this dream forever together with love and trust.
If I were that person,
Once again,
I’d hug your hardened heart tightly in my arms forever.

Against the wall of reality,
Even the coldest of hearts,
At the end of the flowing tears.

The fuzzy stream of light,
Shines brightly in the darkness,
Passing through that time.

Able to feel each other’s body heat,
Our hearts stop and breath ceases.

Everyone has scars and heavy sighs,
I’m trying to find that space in time when I can draw you into my arms.

I can’t believe how just whispering to you make me so nervous,
'Till we can be together in my world.

Alone in the end of time, my heart,
Don’t be afraid because you were left alone.
Till the end of time, I’ll let you know my love.
I’ll protect you, you know.
Because I love you, I’ll let you know my love.

Just like the star that doesn’t leave the dark sky,
We’ll carry this dream forever together with love and trust.
If I were that person,
Once again,
I’d hug your hardened heart tightly in my arms forever.

Mirotic

2008-11-24T16:33:00.002-06:00

From the start, you were sweet and simply attracted to me.
You’d stay always like that, you said when you first walked up to me.
All the possibilities opened up... Oh~

What is love? What! Right now it is Red Ocean.
I’m breaking my rules again. You know it’s getting boring?
You do get hurt a little bit, it’s all right... Oh~

You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me.
You can’t break out, I got you...~ Under my skin
You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me.
You are my slave, I got you...~ Under my skin

It nests in your head, the sharp stare.
It’s not me, my unmoving Chrome heart.
This is your choice... Oh~

Fragments of my crystal flowing through your veins, running through you.
Finally, the end of my transformation.
This must be love... Oh~

You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me.
You can’t break out, I got you...~ Under my skin
You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me.
You are my slave, I got you...~ Under my skin

With a single kiss~ the day revitalizing~ a powerful pull.
The second kiss, it sent a blow to your heart burned your skin.
Yeah~ I have you! You know you got it!
Yeah~ Come on! Come on! I got you- Under my skin

In your dreams you fall into my magic spell.
You want to see me again, I got you~Under my skin

My devil's ride, you now don’t have a place to breathe.
Let’s have fun, now that I have you~ Under my skin

You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me.
You can’t break out, I got you~ Under my skin

You want me, you’ve fallen for me, you’re crazy for me.
You are my slave, I got you~ Under my skin

Hey, Don't Bring Me Down!

2008-11-18T20:25:00.002-06:00

Hey!

Saying you’re going to leave me,
saying it’s over, you’re always trying to make me waver.
I know that you’re just fretful,
and it doesn’t change the way I think about you.
Call up! Call up!

Stop trying to test me,
I get tired seeing you like that.
Call up! Call up!

Why do guys always want confirmation?
Does a girl’s heart waver so easily?
If everything was predestined,
wouldn’t life be too boring?
It’s pretty dull having to express my feelings in the same way everyday.

Hey, don’t bring me down!
Don’t turn me into such a woman!
If I were a woman that knew the way to love,
I would choose never to stop loving you.

Hey, don’t bring me down!
Don’t look at me as if I’m like a migratory bird!
Let’s see who’s going to protect your love in the end.
Give it away, Give it away, Give it away now.
Give it away, Give it away, Give it away now.

Saying "don’t be so distracted,"
saying that "our love has gone cold."
Why don’t you realize how precious I am?

You seem to lack confidence,
I hear words that don’t suit you.
You really don’t know?
You don’t know I’m loving you.

Don’t you realize that from head to toe,
Everything about you captivates me.
I definitely do not want to be your boring slave,
Just like an oriole, a lifeless nightingale.
It’s pretty dull having to express my feelings in the same way everyday.

Hey, don’t bring me down!
Don’t turn me into such a woman!
If I were a woman that knew the way to love,
I would choose never to stop loving you.

Hey, don’t bring me down!
Don’t look at me as if I’m like a migratory bird!
Let’s see who’s going to protect your love in the end.

Stop trying to make me waver again!
Just let me protect you.
I need you boy, I you need boy, I need you boy,
Stop making me seem like a worthless girl
just to meet people’s expectations!
I need you boy, I need you boy, I need you boy.

Hey, don’t bring me down!
Don’t turn me into such a woman!
If I were a woman that knew the way to love,
I would choose never to stop loving you.

Hey, don’t bring me down!
Don’t look at me as if I’m like a migratory bird!
Let’s see who’s going to protect your love in the end.
I need you boy.
I need you boy.

Welcome Home

2008-11-16T01:41:00.004-06:00

Welcome home, sweet home,

a place to go home, yeah.
Thanks for your love...

Pretending to be alright again,
to paint out the color of sadness.
I just laugh it off.

The importance of believing,
even if i understand it
Well, there are times when I still doubt.

Times when my empty body,
just flows by.
It makes me want to just lie down, yet
I just want to hold you.
These feelings pierce through me, so I can move on.

Welcome home, I'm home,
With these two simple words, my heart is satisfied.
Welcome home, sweet home,
a place to go home, yeah.
Thanks for your love...

I used to believe that adults merely think,
only of their cunning selves.
But there are people desperately trying to go back,
even screaming out loud.
Now I have finally realized that...

There is no such thing as
one natural happiness in this world.
For your sake I was able to realize this,
by carrying this feelings I can move on.

Welcome home, sweet home,
Accelerating the speed of everyday...
Welcome home, I'm home.
There will always be this unchanging and comforting scenery,
sweet home.

Search for the missing piece,
that painful wound in your heart.
The one thing that made me fight and go on,
was the “welcome home” waiting for me.

Welcome home, I'm home,
with one word my heart is satisfied.
Welcome home, sweet home,
a place to go home, yeah.
Thanks for your love...

Welcome back, I'm home,
it’s alright because you are here with me.
Welcome back, sweet home,
keep waiting, because I’m arriving soon.
sweet home...

Oh yeah!
Welcome back…sweet home...

Chasing Your Love

2008-11-10T22:08:00.003-06:00

My heart beats so fast that it scares me
I breathe so hard that I can feel the air pressure
My palm sweats enough to water the flowers

My life has transformed into four different kinds of dramas
Joy and sorrow are all exaggerated
Can’t help but to lose myself

How can it be like this?
How can it be this crazy?
How can it be like this? This love has gone far beyond imagination

Even if the world goes against me, I will still be so much in love with you
So much in love with you, that we can’t be separated
I can only believe in this truth
Languish in jealousy, so much I can’t resist
So much in love with you
Can we be clear? At the end, I don’t feel like being clear, as it needs not be
This mischievous play

The words I wish to say to you
My body has responded for me
The moment I fall in love, I can no longer pretend
For once I feel like I am on top of the world

Doubts often comes by
But I’ve fallen in love already, and it has made me helpless
That I can be like this, can be like this crazy
That I can be like this, that I can be like this
That love has gone far beyond imagination

Even if the world goes against me, I will still be so much in love with you
So much in love with you, that we can’t be separated
I can only believe in this truth
Languish in jealousy, so much I can’t resist
So much in love with you
Can we be clear? At the end, I don’t feel like being clear, as it needs not be
This mischievous play

So much in love with you; that is a secret kept in my heart for so long
I dare not tell you, to the point that I have no courage to comfort myself
I ask the Lord: what I should do to get closer to you?
Since the beginning, my hands have moved forward, but I’m so afraid that it will scare you away
I am a brave fighter, with no enemies under the sky that can run free from me
But why is that the moment I step into this forbidden area, I immediately lose in your hands?

Even if the world goes against me, I will still be so much in love with you
So much in love with you, that we can’t be separated
I can only believe in this truth
Languish in jealousy, so much I can’t resist
So much in love with you
Can we be clear? At the end, I don’t feel like being clear, as it needs not be
This mischievous play

Endless Story

2008-11-09T20:22:00.002-06:00

If you haven't changed your mind
I wish for you to be by my side tonight

I'm tired of pretending to be strong
I was young, every time I think about you baby
Now I can say I miss you
It's so hard to say I'm sorry

If this was for you and not anyone else
I wish to sing this song
Endless story, to this endless brilliance
Always I wish to tell you till the end of time

Memories of our time together
Don't erase it, leave it be, don't go away

Starting to melt from the warmth, I make sure
Drops of kindness spreads through my chest
It pains me so much, I'm missin' you
Don't let go of our held hands

If this can come true, once more for you
I want to sing this song
Endless story, with my endless love
Tell me why, please tell me till the end of time

If this was for you and not anyone else
I want to sing this song
Endless story, to this endless brilliance
Always I wish to tell you till the end of time

If this can come true, once more for you
I want to sing this song
Endless story, with my endless love
Tell me why, please tell me till the end of time

Yes We Can

2008-11-05T19:56:00.002-06:00

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.
Yes we can. Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores
and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can. Yes we can.
It was the call of workers who organized;
women who reached for the ballots;
a President who chose the moon as our new frontier;
and a King who took us to the mountain-top and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes we can to justice and equality.
(yes we can, yes we can, yes we can, yes we can…)

Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can repair this world.
Yes we can. Si Se Puede
(yes we can, yes we can, yes we can, yes we can…)

We know the battle ahead will be long,
but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way,
nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.
We want change!
(We want change! We want change! We want change…)

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics who will only grow louder and more dissonant.
We’ve been asked to pause for a reality check.
We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.
But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope. We want change!
(We want change! I want change! We want change! I want change…)

The hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA;
we will remember that there is something happening in America;
that we are not as divided as our politics suggests;
that we are one people;
we are one nation;
and together, we will begin the next great chapter in America’s story with three words that will ring from coast to coast;
from sea to shining sea - Yes. We. Can.
(yes we can, yes we can, yes we can, yes we can, yes we can, yes we can, yes we can, yes we can…)

OBAMA!

Sketch on the Heart

2008-11-03T15:54:00.005-06:00

How many times have I knocked on closed doors?
The countless days I spent,
biting my lips and feeling disappointed.

However, I can definitely change.
I can make this obstacle into a chance!

I won't give up, no matter what,
I won't run away.
Since I want to try understanding,
these things that will occur from here on.
My heart will always be here,
just like this.
With hearts beating, let's sketch on!
Life is fine that way.

I make mistakes too,
I get hurt and bad things happen quite often.
but even if I'm in sorrow,
don't worry.
Time won't stop,
hence I will go on.

Amidst the tears and setbacks,
I can become strong someday.

I won't give up, no matter what,
I won't run away.
Even if the barriers that I have overcome continue on,
one by one.
Everyone is born with dreams,
we all carry our hopes in our hands.
Let's draw them just like in our imaginations,
Life is fine that way.

Looking down,
the color of the sky was forgotten.
Just raise your head and look,
and you will remember those words.
Whatever it is, you cannot know,
unless you try your all.
It's alright to change yourself,
just keep your heart.

I won't give up, no matter what,
I won't run away.
Since I want to try understanding,
these things that will occur from here on.
My heart will always be here,
just like this.
With hearts beating, let's sketch on!
Life is fine that way.

The Starry Sky

2008-11-02T17:27:00.002-06:00

Ah...
Again, tonight, there's the fleeting starry sky
Ah...
The shining stars are hanging with wishes...

Although worries will always endure,
The door is opening.
Walking, falling,
you're the one that picks me up and gives me strength.
So that you can become a proud star,
I'll sing.
Now, I won't do less than my best,
I'll become stronger like...

Unswaying love, this important love,
No one else is so precious.
This night is surely uneasy, but,
We're the one that won't lose, but go on living...

Destiny is such a brutal thing,
Can't we follow our expectations?
It's scattering, falling, but this hand is here,
I'm carrying painful secrets for you while I sing.
Think of, believe, don't forget this wish.

Because who will surely hide weakness?
Aren't you definitely scared?
I'm sure I'll come to understand,
We're the one that won't lose, but go on living...
It was fleeting, and no more...
There is no need for sadness...

A Letter

2008-11-01T19:57:00.003-05:00

Dear you,

Who’s reading this letter
Where are you and what are you doing now?

For me who’s 15 years old
There are seeds of worries I can’t tell anyone

If it’s a letter addressed to my future self,
Surely I can confide truly to myself

Now, it seems that I’m about to be defeated and cry
For someone who’s seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?
This one-and-only heart has been broken so many times
In the midst of this pain, I live the present

Dear you,
Thank you
I have something to tell the 15-year-old you

If you continue asking what and where you should be going
You’ll be able to see the answer

The rough seas of youth may be tough
But row your boat of dreams on
Towards the shores of tomorrow

Now, please don’t be defeated and please don’t shed a tear
During these times when you’re seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice
For me as an adult, there are sleepless nights when I’m hurt
But I’m living the bittersweet present

There’s meaning to everything in life
So build your dreams without fear
Keep on believing

Seems like I’m about to be defeated and cry
For someone who’s seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?

Please don’t be defeated and please don’t shed a tear
During these times when you’re seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice

No matter era we’re in
There’s no running away from sorrow
So show your smile, and go on living the present
Go on living the present

Dear you,
Who’s reading this letter
I wish you happiness

Step And Go

2008-10-20T16:25:00.005-05:00

We're gonna step and go...
We're gonna step and go...

The passing seasons I walk along with my friends are piling up.
Glowing as if it's filled with light, our days are beating in my heart.
No matter what kind of future comes, no matter how far.
Our exchanging voices will not fade away.

We're gonna step and go to brand new story.
Going through the night, rolling, rolling on.
I'm gonna go there with my memories.
A world which completely escapes to eternity.

A precious wish overflowing with flashes of light.
The radiance in my hands will never fade away.
Collecting the gentle flashes of light, I'll make my time.
I will walk on forever.

Passing by the familiar scenery, it's somehow awkward.
The world starts revolving, the next stage has just begun.
How much should we extend our hands to reach our dreams?
Our thoughts are holding onto something unknown.

We're gonna step and go to brand new story.
We begun to run, we got connected.
The soaring wind escapes to eternity.

Now, we can stop our time with miracle.
Let's not forget this day forever.
Inside the continuing path towards tomorrow that starts from here.
Our memories will continue on blooming.

Step, step and step and go...
When the petals fall and dance.
Step, step and step and go...
The bud will eventually turn into a flower.
Step, step and step and go...
And that voice that's echoing right now.
Step, step and step and go...
The root is thick, deep, long and proud.

Amongst the passing days like this.
Yes, flashing brightly like fire.
Now, our paths have crossed.
We will go on to different directions.
The end of the days are sparkling,
because time colors them with light.
And I move towards the crossroad...
See you again someday, at this crossroad.

A night alone is probably freezing.
In the world where I was able to meet you.
Forever feel my soul!

A precious wish overflowing with flashes of light.
The radiance in my hands will never fade away.
Collecting the gentle flashes of light, I'll make my time.
I will walk on forever.

We're gonna step and go...
We're gonna step and go...

A Day In Our Life

2008-10-16T16:44:00.004-05:00

Time turns the pages of the passing days, and you went somewhere especially far away
Ah, my feelings don't reach you anymore, you don't come here anymore,
however I won't forget all night

Yo, you shine greater than the rays of light from the sun!
Something so close I can't see it, yet as time passed I saw it

I love you, even til now, this endless love
Someday...you will...come back to me

The feeling of holding our hands together, the courage to pull you closer
The crumbling sounds only increases the rate of my heart
Right now it's love, love, just a little bit more, I'm almost a different me
It'll reach you~ I'll tell you~ I'll make it echo~

Ah, the painful thoughts pass us by
Ah, if it's now, I'll tell you it all
With your tears, your smile, everything
I always want that feeling
where I'm holding your hand and I'm by your side

I'm doing everything I can
in order to find myself
I'll find something new right?
Surely, someday, we'll meet again
Surely, someday, we'll meet again

The pain continues, when I think of you in the mornings. There's still an umbrella covering my heart
Ride on, let's get on board now! I don't need those peaceful days
Tick-tock Tick-tock the clocks ticks away. It's ok.
Don't worry about it, just leave it
I'm sure of this constant feeling, this never-ending love is already at it's limits

I love you, even til now, this endless love
Someday...you will...come back to me

I swear, one day you'll be by my side
I'll never give up, I won't falter from this
Now it's love, love, just a little bit more,
I'm almost a different me
It'll reach you~ I'll tell you~ I'll make this echo~ yeah!

Ah, the painful thoughts pass us by
Ah, if it's now, I'll tell you it all
With your tears, your smile, everything
I always want that feeling
where I'm holding your hand and I'm by your side

I'm doing everything I can
in order to find myself
I'll find something new right?
Surely, someday, we'll meet again
Surely, someday, we'll meet again

Ah, the painful thoughts pass us by
Ah, if it's now, I'll tell you it all
With your tears, your smile, everything
I always want that feeling
where I'm holding your hand and I'm by your side

I'm doing everything I can
in order to find myself
I'll find something new right?
Surely, someday, we'll meet again
Surely, someday, we'll meet again

With your tears, your smile, everything
I always want that feeling
where I'm holding your hand and I'm by your side

I'm doing everything I can
in order to find myself
I'll find something new right?
Surely, someday, we'll meet again

Homecoming = Coming Home? More Like CRAZINESS!

2008-10-02T18:18:00.004-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear:"TABOO"-Koda Kumi

It's about time I posted a normal blog...life's just been INSANE!
Wow....What a week.
Homecoming on Saturday night followed by a Sunday bagel-day, and Rosh Hashanah on Tuesday and Wednesday, all followed by a crazy writing deadline. I'm still waiting for my head to stop spinning.
Seriously, people. I need a vacation.
Homecoming was amazing: I actually found something to wear, thanks to mum's habit of saving her old dresses. I had a black dress with gold straps that went well with my sheer cardigan and a string of black pearls finished off with a gigantic purple flower: trés Chanel! I went out to dinner with my galpals, and when we headed to the dance, the party was already in full swing. I saw all my friends, accidentally walked through the Gatorade river, and had an awesome time dancing the night away. I had a splitting migraine and my feet were killing me, so I MUST have had fun! We all went to my friend's house to spend the night, or more accurately, drink too much root beer, watch Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty, and eat goldfish until we passed out from sheer exhaustion. I awoke to the next morning to a headache and unaware of where I wasm kind of like a bad New Year's party. We ate Panera's bagels, had an adventure in the bargain section of Wal-Mart, and spent the day just being our insane selves.
Best.....Homecoming.....EVER.
Then, I had the wonderful opportunity to spend another Rosh Hashanah with my *wonderful* family. It truly is the time I spend during holidays with these people that make me really wish I was adopted. This holiday is essentially like having Thanksgiving four times over a course of two days accompanied by intervals of prayer in synagogue and walking back and forth between the two. The sucky part is that because it is not like Shabbat, I never hang with my homie Gz and end up spending waaaaaay too much time with la familia. You see, how do I explain my family? Every family dinner ends with some conversation regarding:
1) Some disguisting and unmentionable bodily function
2) Why America sucks
3) Grandma's sex life
Dear god, how do I share a gene pool with these people? Really?
Well, I had better get cracking on all of this makeup work. I have to come up with some idea of a podcast, and I need to find a way to make my partner's idea of an "OtakuCast" to work while managing to keep out of cosplay. The impossible? yes. Wish me luck.
I wish my homework was asexual so it could do itself.

Barefooted Future

2008-09-23T17:25:00.002-05:00

I'm always forgetting, and fearing each day
running out of passion, my dreams have started to die
this world seems warped, torn to pieces and hazy
but it's nice to smile even for a second

Though times are tough, I can run past these days
as long as I feel that I'm not alone

I'm happy for no reason
this feeling is true, and it revives my tired heart
an outburst of passion for absolutely no reason!
saying, "go and build your future!"

In the corners of my awfully dry heart
there's no need to hide this feeling of wanting to cry
I won't let go, until the waves wash me ashore
it's good that my dark shadow is being washed away

I only turn my head in order to help someone
because that's what I believe in

Neither words, nor looks
my happy heart has but one desire, because I want to live free
my heart is beating fast for absolutely no reason!
saying, "go into your barefoot future"

I'm happy for no reason
this feeling is true, and it revives my tired heart
an outburst of passion for absolutely no reason!
saying, "go and build your future!"

Not words, not looks
I've always wanted to live free and have fun
my heart is beating fast for absolutely no reason!
saying, "go into your barefoot future"

Comet

2008-09-22T18:33:00.002-05:00

Looking up to the night sky alone, I saw a comet
In an instant it burst open, and disappeared
When I think of you, my heart aches
I want to see you right now
But I can't fly

If I could turn into a comet
I would run through the sky and fly
No matter what tomorrow is like, these feelings are strong
So this comet will never break open

When I grumble about hating it when it rains
I even now remember what you would say
Stars will come out beautifully in the night sky, after the rain
When I think about that
I think that I can grow to love the rain too

If I could turn into a comet
I would she'd my overflowing light

Whenever I was sad, you would always look up to the night sky
And make it shine even more, so that I would smile

You're always alone, and fighting with something
But I can't be
At your side

If I could turn into a comet
I would run through the sky and fly
It will definitely reach you, in the light of this moment
Your moment shines, bringing the sky around
If I could turn into a comet
I would certainly be by your side, at any time

Telepathy

2008-09-18T17:08:00.003-05:00

I don't know how many times this has happened
Us calling each other, exactly at the same time
When we meet, we choose the same thing on the menu
Is this destiny?

The truth is, I am more aware of this
If you felt it, you will know what I feel

You'll now even see me when you're sleeping
In your dreams you will meet me
The way we connect
Hey! Hey! I like it!
Sweeter than any candy
I like the sensation of the telepathy between us

I know because of a woman's intuitions
We will meet once again
Tell me that you want me
You keep coming to me

The truth is, it's actually me trying
I'm the one that shot all those cupid arrows

You'll now even see me when you're sleeping
In your dreams you will meet me
The way we connect
Hey! Hey! I like it!
Sweeter than any candy
I like the sensation of the telepathy between us

Where are you?
Do you miss me?
Even when you don't tell me

I get the feeling I know
Is it that you're the same as me
Tell me if this is love...

Even when you don't tell me, you're already mine!

You'll now even see me when you're sleeping
In your dreams you will meet me
The way we connect
Hey! Hey! I like it!
Sweeter than any candy
I like the sensation of the telepathy between us

Rainbow Kisses

2008-09-15T15:22:00.002-05:00

It’s always like that
You throwing tantrums
You would hide away my most precious treasure
And because those places where you’d hide them
Would always be the same
Today I’ll wait for you there first

The seasons have brought along the evening sun
And the shadows have found me

With a shocked expression on your face
You stare intently at me
And suddenly turn away from me, seems like you’re pouting
When I say "I’m sorry"
You say “then come here, look at this"
"Our shadows have overlapped each other"

Because our umbrellas are colliding against each other
I’m unable to move forwards
And you laugh after seeing me like this
So I do it as well, like how you showed me
I pout the same way you pouted

You, who’s smiling so gently
All these while, all this time
You’ve been so precious that I could cry
You’re my most precious treasure

So you pout on purpose
And before I could respond to your “sorry"
You kissed me gently

From now on, it’s okay if you say slightly wilful things
But please say them only to me

“It’s too troublesome"
You’re not being frank with me
I wonder why you can’t just say it
“I like you"? it’s just these words

Sometimes I just want to hear you say it
Today is the day our names overlap each other
The day that our love starts to sprout

Lalalalalalalalala…

The rainbow is really pretty
No it’s you that’s prettier
To the you who’s starting to be shy

Thank you…
Thank you.

Back to School Blues

2008-09-14T18:39:00.003-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear:"Niji (Nino Solo)"-Arashi

It's raining again. This weather makes me want to crawl under my covers and never come out again.
Well, now that I'm back into the swing of my school routine, things seem a bit more depressing around here. One of my friends is at school in Phillie, my other friends are back at JEWSKOOL, and I'm stuck on the bus with a bunch of annoying freshman.
Welcome to junior year.
My favorite classes are AP Micro Economics, Multimedia 2, and Spanish 3, but I think my chemistry teacher has a vendetta against students. The one thing I honestly like about my schedule is that I have media first=morning nap, and Spanish last=afternoon nap. It's perfect! :D
I am not sure what the problem is, but I have had a lot of trouble sleeping for the last few weeks, and it's really taking a toll on me. I cannot focus if I'm sleepy, but I get to bed on time every night and still fail to sleep. Insomnia? I hope not.
I finally finished "Eclipse," and I'm getting worried that my novel sounds eerily similar. I'd better take a different approach with my character development.
I really wish that I had more to say, but my life is pretty slow at the moment. So I'll just enjoy study for my math quiz and try to ignore the rain...
Where are my big fuzzy slippers?

Moonlight Justice

2008-09-11T17:32:00.003-05:00

Moon Twilight.
If the noise of the moon dwelt in my heart...
Moonlight justice.
This pure white light...
...will reach our lives.
The world will collapse from
the devastating wind.
We will not give up
even if time has stopped.
Place the whistle of an
angel upon my finger.
I will send the living tomorrow.

Day and night.
Resonate with each other,
Day and night.
The people who aren't invited...
Hold over your head
your claw of anger.
Were you born
with only hatred?

Planet twilight.
If the noise of a planet resounds in my heart...
Within me,
Star knight justice.
This pure white light...
Believe in my courage.
...if it reaches our lives.
At any time,
yes, at any time.
My dream is within myself.

I'll give a shock!
Feel some justice!

Once Again

2008-09-07T15:30:00.003-05:00

Once again we’ve now started moving towards the future
Start rowing, etch your feelings into your heart
You can get it if you reach out still
The dream you’d forgotten is there

Never being able to fly, we gazed up at the sky
Not being able to do anything, with no goals, we just kept searching back then

Just the time where we were lost passed
We went through sleepless nights
Surely the day will come where we’ll be able to arrive to the other side of the day we feared

Once again we’ve now started moving towards the future
Start rowing, etch your feelings into your heart
You can get it if you reach out still
The dream you’d forgotten is there

Not being able to see any things for certain, we questioned every night
Not being able to see anything around ourselves, we pushed through, madly running back then

So I wouldn’t forget, I engraved your voice which disappeared into the falling rain into my heart
Surely the day will come where I’ll reach you, along with the feelings welling up inside of me

Once again we’ve now started running to the future
The dream we drew surely matches our feelings
If you’re having regrets, don’t give up
The tomorrow we believed in is already there

We’d lost sight of
“the wish we made, the dream we drew” once again, we go to the future
Back then the anxiety we had
Is not going to be a waste, even if we keep waiting…
Instead of that, so we’ll fly higher, we have to lay low
So somehow we get another chance, now, once again
So again, again, again and again

Once again we’ve now started moving towards the future
Start rowing, etch your feelings into your heart
You can get it if you reach out still
The dream you’d forgotten is there

Stand Up!! We’ve now started running to the future
The dream we drew surely matches our feelings
If you’re having regrets, don’t give up
The tomorrow we believed in is already there

A World To Believe In

2008-08-14T01:17:00.000-05:00

I've seen the tears and the heartache
And I've felt the pain
I've seen the hatred
And so many lives lost in vain

And yet through this darkness
There's always a light that shines through
And takes me back home
Takes me back home

No matter what exists
beyond that tall wall
I don't want to run away
I'll continue to walk onward
and won't forget

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
For the sake of love
I can become stronger
as long as you are here

When it looked like
my heart would overflow with tears
If I noticed, I was never alone
Even on the windy days
Even on the rainy days

And I see for one fleeting moment
A paradise under the sun
I drift away
And I make my way back to you
I won't forget

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
No matter how many times it takes
It can be redone
as long as there is a tomorrow

Every time people are hurt
the truth is that they'll be brought
closer to an important answer

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
For the sake of love
I can become stronger
as long as you are here

You gave me a world to believe in
You gave me a love to believe in
No matter how many times it takes
It can be redone
as long as there is a tomorrow

As long as you're here with me
As long as you're here with me

Let's keep on living

Keep The Faith

2008-08-12T02:36:00.003-05:00

Before, you were speaking selfishly, but
Here, you know baby, there was a place you could belong
It's possible to be hurt even when you can say what you believe, so
quietly, you traveled in search of kindness
Now, you're crouching here, resting your tired wings

No, No, No! You show me the faith
I'll definitely keep it for you
Alone, we'll lose sight of tomorrow, so
We'll shout this out loud so keep the faith

With no enemies, and no impossibilities
We'll fly on in high gear, and fuel on the flames
We'll slip out of these boring days
It's a solid promise so keep the faith

In a town full of mistakes,
don't be afraid if something tries to change you,
what's in your heart can't be altered
Burdened by words that weren't said, and pain that won't fade,
the fake smile is firmly in place

No, No, No! You show me the faith
I'll definitely keep it for you
we'll keep a light shining for you,
so don't cry alone, Keep the faith

Even if my voice is far away, my heart is here in this place
We dream, and we fall down, but get right back up
We're going to bet it all on this so keep the faith

Everyone pretends that they don't see anything, and they hurt you
You can feel me nearby, can't you? I'll rescue you out from there

That's why, close to you...

"Sweetie."

No, No, No! You show me the faith
I'll definitely keep it for you
Alone, we'll lose sight of tomorrow, so
We'll shout this out loud so keep the faith

With no enemies, and no impossibilities
We'll fly on in high gear, and fuel on the flames
We'll slip out of these boring days
It's a solid promise so keep the faith

We dream, and we fall down, but get right back up
We're going to bet it all on this so keep the faith!

Happiness

2008-08-07T00:16:00.002-05:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah....

Rather than grieving in the headwind,
if we imagine all will go well, someday times will change.

When we're engrossed in living and with trivial matters,
when we falter in painful love, we have to stand up again each time.

If we think of the comings and goings of memories, it is too lonely.
Because an exciting future is sure to be waiting over there for us.

Start running, start running, let's go and welcome tomorrow.
Let me hear your voice, I feel it all.
Don't stop, don't stop, these feelings move me now.
No matter how small the hope may be, it is just my one and only happiness.

Even the feelings of tears cannot be put into words,
because it's alright not to worry about certain things.
What color is the rainbow of happiness?

When we find the answer, we'll have accumulated more memories.
From here we can progress without fear to a new place.

'Till far away, 'till far away, the path leads on forever.
Let me hear you speak, I'll always stay beside you.
Don't stop, don't stop, I believe in these feelings.
The hope may not have a name yet, but it is just my one happiness.

Start running, start running, let's go and welcome tomorrow.
Let me hear your voice, I feel it all.
Don't stop, don't stop, these feelings move me now.
No matter how small the hope may be, it is just my one and only happiness.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, YEAH!

You're My Jewelry

2008-08-06T01:28:00.002-05:00

The shine in your eyes,
is like a gem in the twinkling stars.
Staring into those eyes,
the whole world is enchanted.

What I am saying is "I love you,"
the meaning is the same.
Your flattering words put me in a trance,
why don't you kiss me?

Baby, come to me.
I love you, only you.
Hear me, only me.
You're my jewelry.

But even a jewel grows hazy,
your sweet charm does not.
Even a huge diamond,
is mere foil in comparison to you.

Tell me more and more,
continue your pleasant words.
Your whisperings make me feel like royalty,
Why don't you kiss me?

Baby, come to me.
I love you, only you.
Hear me, only me.
You're my jewelry.

You're my jewelry.

Summer Blues

2008-08-06T01:13:00.003-05:00

How can this phone not be love at first sight?

What's Playing In My Ear:"Iris"-The Goo Goo Dolls

Summer flies by like water falling through my cupped hands. How I wish that I could save these moments forever. SUMMER, SLOW DOWN, DAMMIT!
I attended my first Sweet Sixteen party, and it turned out much more fun than I expected. I got a few looks from some guys, saw my friends, and found out that I have an inner hillbilly just itching to get out (I won the hoe-down contest). The only things that bugged me were:
A) I kept getting hit on by this one friend of mine
B) My hair went from straight to curly in just an hour of dancing
I also had my first slow-dance, but it was just with a friend. I don't like him or anything, it was kind of funny, actually.
My parents finally gave in and got me a new phone.....WITH TEXTING!!!!!! LG RUMOR, silver and green, camera, full keyboard, bluetooth, fun ringtones, and to top it off, I found a 1GB memory card for $9.95 to boot!
High phone bills, here I come.
I have actually been texting quite a bit, seeing as I strained a ligament in my foot this past weekend. I spent my last day with advil, ice, a footrest, and a marathon of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager."
Worst Acting EVER.
At least I had a chance to catch up on my writing. I'm almost done with chapter twelve, where a lot of drama takes place. This summer has really been good to my fans. :D
I'm not quite sure what's been bothering me lately, but I have been feeling a bit blue. Maybe it's because last week I was constantly with my friends, but now I've spent most of this week by myself. I guess I just got a bit lonely is all, I mean, when you're off your feet it's tough to socialize. I used the opportunity to clean my room and finish reading this really interesting book called "Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Muslim Women." Now I'm reading "Queste," the latest "Septimus Heap" series book.
Maybe I need to meditate or something similar to divert my bad energy. Or I could cook, and by "cook" I mean "attempt to prepare some kind of food and end up causing an explosion."
Yeah, let's stick to meditation or Tai Chi.
Well, I'm off to change my Ace bandage, don't wait up for me. I'll be here....alone....
Damn, I need crutches or something to get me out of the house.

One Love

2008-07-24T15:31:00.003-05:00

There were times when we wanted to say something,
but could not.
And there were times when we wanted to be honest,
but could not.
We have overcome those tearful seasons,
and now we shine so bright.
The images of happiness we have painted overlap,
to become one great love.
Let's live together always.

Even a hundred years from now, I will swear my love.
You are everything to me.
Believing in you, just believing in you.
The one I will share both good and bad times with.

No matter what you are,
No matter what I am,
Every part of us is precious to me.
As long as I have you,
I need nothing more.
I know we will be happy.

I waited for you in the rain,
not even knowing the meaning of kindness.
A misunderstanding caused us pain that night,
But still,
We have made it this far.
One invaluable encounter set off a chain of miracles,
our memories build upon each other.
The song of a new beginning echoes.

To the friends who laughed, cried, and supported us,
no matter what happened,
I can only say one thing to you now.
From the bottom of my heart is: "thank you."

Even a hundred years from now, I will swear my love.
You are everything to me.
Believing in you, just believing in you.
Let's make a promise in the tomorrow we will share.

You are the one and only person I chose,
in this whole world.
As long as I have you,
whatever future I have,
any future with you will be a shining one.

Self-Discoveries, Hair Dye, and Creepy Batman Nerds

2008-07-23T19:37:00.006-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear:"Kitto Daijobu"-Arashi

I spent my entire day filling in as a camp counselor for my sister's bunk.
Now I remember why I decided not to work there again.
I am exhausted and cannot feel my toes. It is not that I do not enjoy spending my time chasing after a bunch of screaming miscreants, I just thought that this summer would be devoted to ME, and ME alone. So much for that brilliant plan...
Although I did not dress up as The Joker after all, The Dark Knight was AWESOME. As well as it being an awesome movie, it was even better seeing it at midnight with all of the local Batman nerds and virtually every teen in the city. The only disturbing part was getting hit on by a guy through one of his girl-pals sitting behind us. The conversation went as follows:
Girl: Hey, how old are you?
Me: Um, excuse me?
Girl: Yeah, the guy behind me wants to know so he doesn't become a pedifile when he buys you a soda.
Me: X_x
Batman nerds are SCARY PEOPLE. PERIOD.
Besides for the fact that I was nearly scarred for life, I believe that without a doubt it is the best movie of the year. There were at least four points in the movie where I thought it was over, but some sudden twist turned up making everything even cooler! I did not like Rachel's character in this one though, I was actually happy when she died. Heath Ledger was by far the creepiest man I have ever seen act in a role like this. No wonder people think this role killed him. SO what have we learned?
Christian Bale=WIN
Batman nerds=creepy sex fiends
Midnight movie releases=worth every penny
I am super-psyched that all my friends will finally be home for a good portion of the summer holidays! This summer has been considerably lonely, but I have gotten some quality time alone, something I really needed after this school year.
Well, I am on chapter twelve of my novel, getting the real story underway. Exciting, I know. I just wish that I had more time and inspiration for my work. I get writer's block quite often these days.
I just found my new favorite drama: Bambino! Bambino! is about a young guy from Hakata named Ban Shogo who leaves everything behind, dropping out of college and breaking up with his fiancée in dreams of becoming a professional Italian chef in the Baccanale fine restaurant of Tokyo. Ban Shogo is played by the über-hottie from Arashi, Jun Matsumoto, which is how I found out about it in the first place. This drama envokes tears, laughter, and makes you really re-evaluate people's lives and dreams. I think you should get off your butt and head over to crunchyroll and watch it!
I have been thinking of some kind of drastic change to apply to myself. This year has really been about self-discovery for me, and I think that I am finally learning about myself and finding out what kind of person I want to become. I feel that I have really grown this year, and especially over this summer. I want to find some kind of way to reflect the changes and express how I feel about the future. I also really want to surprise everyone when school starts again. I thought of cutting my hair, but I do not really want to part with my hair. Maybe dye it? Perhaps I need some other drastic surprise... Any ideas?
Well, I need to go back to the piano. If I want to get any better, I have to put in the time. At this point, it is a rivalry between my older brother and myself, as it has been since I was born. HUZZAH!

Verano Nights and Summer Días

2008-07-14T21:33:00.005-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear:"PEACH"-Ai Otsuka

Anthony Bourdain's new season of No Reservations is on. I have only one thought: hell yes! This season, Tony seems a lot more loose, serious, and less sarcastic because he visits a lot of countries that have suffered immensly through hard times, like Laos, Columbia, and Saudi Arabia. Looks like this summer is not turning out so bad after all.
I am still looking to get my hands on a copy of New Moon before my friend spoils the entire book for me. Gawd, why must I wait for 45 other people on a library waiting list? I WANT MY VAMPIRES AND I WANT THEM NOW!
Because of all the free time and newly-found inspiration, I am writing my novel on a faster scale than ever before. Chapter 11 has just reached the meat of its plot, and this part is essential to everything that comes after. At this rate, I will finish the book before you know it.
Life is good.
I added Michelle Kwan to my "Skating Wall of Fame" last night. For those of you who are unaware, I am an avid fan of speed skating and figure skating. My favorite skaters end up on the wall over my bed at some point, hence "Skating Wall of Fame." At the moment, I have a Daisuke Takahashi collage that I made on the computer, an autographed photo of Casey Fitz, a Time Magazine article on Joey Cheek, and book clippings of Michelle Kwan. Now I need something of Apollo Anton Ono to add, and all will be well.
I want to get the 2008-2009 Arashi calendar, but....
1) No tengo una tarjeta de credito (ain't got no credit card)
2) No tengo dinero (ain't got no money) T_T
I need to get a job. FAST.
I will just have to settle for half-assed scans of the calendar that fellow rabid fangirls have distributed throughout the internet. Arashi goodness here I come!
I wish I could have traveled somewhere this summer. Everyone seems to have gone somewhere fun but me. Mum wants me to go on an NCSY service program to help children in Ukraine and Poland next summer, but I do not work well with kids, as last summer illustrated quite blatently. I do not even think that we will be able to go to Ocean City again, due to various reasons.
I will just have to settle for a bike ride to Cedarburg.
I have two friends right now who are currently not speaking to each other, and it just pisses me off. I hate getting caught in the middle of situations like these because I refuse to take sides, especially when both sides are acting just plain childish. KISS AND MAKE UP PEOPLE, IT IS NOT HARD!
I am still working on a costume to wear to the Batman opening on Thursday. Someone suggested I go as The Joker, which would be easy if I could find myself some face paint. Would I even look alright as a demonic clown? Heath Ledger did...
Clowns are creepy. 'Nuff said.
Time to go get scary.

A Storm's A Coming...

2008-07-10T13:18:00.003-05:00

Xiu Yi!!!!! <3

What's Playing In My Ear:"Zen Me Ban"-S.H.E
Man, this is the cruddiest summer weather I have seen since that July blizzard in Colorado back in...wait, did Colorado ever have a blizzard in July? Scratch that. This is the worst summer weather I can ever remember.
It was extremely hot and humid this morning, and my mum called eight times from Chicago to remind me to water her plants. I dragged out of bed, feeling extremely tired and groggy from four hours of sleep, and proceeded to water ALL of the plants. Mind you, my mother is the biggest green thumb you will ever meet. Not twenty minutes after I water each and every freaking green flower and herb, it RAINS. All that work for NOTHING.
I hate my life.
Yeah, mum and her friend ditched me and went off for a fun time in Chicago leaving me to rot. I did not want to hang out with them or anything considering I age thirty five years for every ten minutes I spend with them, but it was a bit of an insult not to be invited. So I spent the entire day alone with no transportation because my bike's busted and I cannot exactly drive yet and no destination had I gotten a ride because Mequon sucks.
Mum was complaining: "Why didn't you go on an NCSY trip? I talked to Mrs.(insert mum's boring/cooking-obsessed friend's name here) and she says that her daughters are having a great time!" When I showed mum the pamphlet in January, when you SIGN UP, she said no to every program that they offered. Way to go mum.
This is the suckiest summer yet.
At least I got some more writing time in because of all the spare quiet time I get to myself nowadays. I am almost done with my first notebook (about 54 pages), which is a major milestone.
Maybe I will get some cooking done, I have been dying to try making onigiri again with my new and improved technique. This involves RINSING the rice so it does not become another rice-snowball incident. If not onigiri, I might just make some soups or something.
Gawd, I feel so domestic. Yuck.
ZOMG. The Taiwanese Hana-Kimi drama was totally awesome! I finally watched the whole series, and laughed my guts out! It got posted on YouTube, so I watched the whole thing from my iPod Touch. I enjoyed it so much, I stayed up until about 4 AM for the past few weeks just so I could squeeze in another episode. I hope that the legal issues regarding the filming of a second season get settled soon, because the end just kind of left ends hanging. Xiu Yi and Dao Xou were hysterical, I just couldn't get enough of them. And Quan.....@_@ Dreaaaaaamy.
Now that my girly rant is over, I'm off to paint unicorns and have a tea party in a frilly pink dress. Hopefully I'll remember to tack up the Arashi posters in my room. :3

Lazy Summer Days and Arashi

2008-07-03T12:17:00.005-05:00

What's Playing in My Ear:"One Love"-Arashi
W00ts for a new summer layout! All the pale colors were making me feel sick. It's time for some new fresh colors and fonts! What do you think of the new design?
Geez, the summer is flying by fast... MAKE IT GO SLOWER!!!!
Well, my computer finally kicked the bucket. The hard drive failed, therefore I have lost everything that wasn't backed up. So that means that my music and photos are safe, but everything else is gone forever T_T
Why me?
Well, I took it as a chance to clean up my junk and start over fresh, and by that I mean....OVERLOADING MY REPAIRED HARD DRIVE WITH ARASHI! I'm talking much more than a few Mp3s...
about 66 songs, including limited release albums
12 music videos
50 avatars
20 wallpapers
over 100 magazine scans
and and entire piano book scan
Obsessed? Maybe. Happy? Definitely. :D
I'm still adjusting to life with my brother. It's weird to have an older brother living abroad for four years, and then he magically reappears. The idea is taking some getting used to, especially since he hogs the computer/TV, empties the fridge, and brings that teenage guy stink to my house. I swear, you could bottle that smell, sell it as insect repellent, and make a fortune!
Since school has let out, I've been working on that novel like never before. I've added two whole chapters and started typing an edited archive version for my portable drive. Since I'm not working or traveling at the moment, I get a lot of time to myself to work on the book. I just wished I'd spend more typing properly or practicing piano, but I'm so lazyyyyyyyy. :D
Speaking of which, Mum signed me up for summer lessons, so I'd better get some practicing in before Nathalie decides to hog the piano.

In Memorium of Miyuki Kanbe (1984-2008)

2008-06-22T22:41:00.003-05:00

My dear sweet angel
now you sleep
You can be at peace
but this loss is deep

Youth is short
so it seems to be
And yours was cut
you left us breathlessly

And now you rest
you have left us here
Where you are now
there's no need for fear

Your talent inspired us
you made us laugh and cry
We will surely miss you
it's time to say goodbye

We will remember the happiness you brought
we will always see your smiling face
The joy, and laughter you radiated
You're in a better place

Your pain is gone
You wings can soar high
We will remember you always
You will never truly die

Vacation

2008-06-12T23:53:00.002-05:00

Come on, come on come on
Let's go!
Come on, come on come on
Let's go!
Come on, come on come on
Let's go!
Come on, come on
Let's go!

Vacation
Need a little sun to break up all the frustration
And turn it into love
Ain't nobody gonna tell us what we gonna do because today it's up to you
Temptation comin' up to me
A little relaxation and I'll be great to be
Come on and weeky weeky loo
It's gonna start now
Kick it back, kick it back, kick it back to the track
Kick it back, kick it back, kick it back to the track

Vacation's where I wanna be
Party on the beach where the fun is free
We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate
'Cause I need a break, I need a vacation

Vibrations
Need to get me some and drive out all my complications
And turn them into love
Ain't nobody gonna tell us where we gonna be
Because today, today it's you and me

Vacation's what I wanna do
Party on the beach, fun for me and you
We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate
Repeat after me "I need a vacation."

Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go!
I wanna be where the fun is free
So come with me

Vacation's where I wanna be
Party on the beach where the fun is free
We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate
'Cause I need a break, I need a vacation

Carmel Love Song

2008-06-05T09:28:00.012-05:00

A slice of the red-dyed afternoon
Framed by the square window
It's growing dark, the day is ending
Tomorrow is the day you leave

Tenderness always brings loneliness with it
For the moment, let me close my eyes
Against the countless memories

You'll always be my treasure
It's funny how much I love you
If it means you'll smile someday
I'll wave goodbye from the bottom of my heart

From the veranda, I watched
The lights go on in the little street
A vapor trail drifts by
Is it because of my sigh?

If I put it in words, it'll probably bother you a bit
If I stand close and touch your hand, will you be able to feel it?
"Goodbye"

In our tightly held hands
The dream we believed in begins to move
I'll never forget you
The sweet evening sky begins to melt

You reach out your hand
Before the dusk
And try to catch the stars
Drawing nearer...
The truth is, I never want to let you go

You'll always be my treasure
It's funny how much I love you
If it means you'll smile someday
I'll wave goodbye from the bottom of my heart

And Believe in All

2008-06-03T15:21:00.005-05:00

Like light turned toward a mirror
hate will soon splash back onto yourself
There is no loss or victory in terms of love
Gentleness should be seen as a strength,
not a weakness

So believe in love, let's try to believe
And believe in all, in this moment
because we're all living in the same era

So believe in love, let's try to love
And believe in all, everyone is allied
while looking up at the same starry sky

So believe in love, let's try to believe
And believe in all, in this moment
because we're all living in the same era

Anticipation

2008-06-02T09:33:00.005-05:00

What's Playing in My Ear:"Orlean no Sei Senshi~Uranus to Neptune no Uragi"-SeraMyu
One more week, one more week. I ONLY HAVE TO SURVIVE MAKE IT FOR ONE MORE WEEK!
The last week is always the longest and more difficult portion of the school year for me. I'm just not a very patient person. I'm kind of worried about the fact that Shavuot falls on my first exam day, and I'm not too fond of rescheduling my exams. My teachers are nice enough, I'll find a way.
I still have not decided what to do this summer; I got offers to spend some time volunteering in Sweden/Italy, but my Aunt's relatives want me to go stay with them in Israel, and CGI still wants me to go be a camp counselor again. Decisions, decisions...
I took my siblings to go see "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" yesterday. It was a bit different from the book, and much darker than the previous film. Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian=yummy. Me likey. :D
I finally finished all of the books I've been reading for both pleasure and for school assignments, and now I have nothing to read. Any suggestions? I like all sorts of books, but mostly fantasy, romance, and historical fiction. Mum's been raving about this book involving Tsar Nicholas II, so I might end up swiping her copy.

I FINALLY wrote some more in my novel today! I got two pages done because I just got so freaking bored on account of our power being out. Using candles to light up the house must've kick-started some inspiration in my brain's creative center. I wrote two pages and I'm pretty happy with myself. Excuse me whilst I commence with my happy dance.

Yearbooks, Presentations, and Strawberries

2008-05-29T10:06:00.006-05:00

What's Playing in My Ear:"Leavin"-Jesse McCartney
Ah, don't you love settling back into a school routine after four days away on a retreat? I don't.
I'm definitely going to fail my iSearch presentation later today considering I was too busy to practice my speech completely. Not to mention that I just found a bunch of errors in the final copy I turned in for about 150 points.
Fuck. I hate school.
At least I got my yearbook. I managed to come up with a better signature than last year:
You're as sweet as sugar
You're as sweet as honey
But when you're gone all summer,
Who will lend me money?
Nice poem, huh? It took me about ten minutes to come up with, but everyone loves it! Who knew that cheesy but cute poems made you a popular choice for a yearbook signature?
I was so excited about meeting other Jewish teens at the NCSY convention this week. My wish came true when I met this really cute guy at the NCSY convention who's funny, talented, and friendly, but he has a girlfriend. Story of my life.
I feel like strawberries. I know that's completely unrelated and random, but it's true. I want the strawberry patch I planted last summer to grow some berries that don't rot/grow too little/not ripen. Is that so much to ask of mother nature?!
I'm almost done with "The Mermaid Chair," which is about a married woman falling in love with a monk. How much more scandalous can you get? Wait, don't answer that...
We're also reading "Raptor Red" for Earth Science, but it's kind of like having one of those boring documentaries played on airplanes read out loud to you. I like PBS and National Geographic stuff, but this is ridiculous!
I'll just hang in tight until school is over.
Ten more days....ten more days....just ten more days....

Prayer of the Lost

2008-05-27T20:42:00.004-05:00

There is nobody who talks about the light of that star in faraway places.
All of our prayers and all of our thoughts...
A simple melody.
Even if we try to place our wish in the sky with a lunar eclipse,
The incessant rain tore it apart.
A simple melody.

Carry our dreams, unknown butterfly!
Carry our love to a yet unfulfilled native land.
Oh, our butterfly, merely gazing into the wind.
Oh, again tonight, it will be a long night for your wings which cannot fly.
A simple melody,
A simple melody.

There is nobody who talks about the days of yore on this island.
All of our prayers and all of our anger...
A simple melody.
We tried to put our wish on a silver-colored ship,
The incessant sea tore it apart.
A simple melody.

Carry our dreams, unknown god!
Carry our love to a yet unfulfilled native land.
Oh, our people, merely staring into the wind.
Oh, again tonight, it will be a long night for the trapped souls.
A simple melody,
A simple melody.

Frustration at Friends

2008-05-21T09:45:00.003-05:00

What's Playing in My Ear:"Feel So Faraway"-Seramyu
I completely forgot how hard it is to make a misanga with yarn. I usually use thread, but I ran out and only had this yarn. Geez, my fingers hurt now. In case you're wondering, a misanga is kind of like a friendship bracelet, and it is quite popular in Brazil and Japan. Look it up. I make them every year around this time for no particular reason. :D
Is it just me, or are all my friends asking each other out? You don't ask out your friends. That's why they are FRIENDS and not DATING POTENTIAL. Ew.
Okay, so yesterday we took a field trip to the police academy and court house. (I know what you're thinking, "high school field trips?" Yes. My life is awesome like that.) We got to sit in on all these cool cases and see police training. It was so worth missing hours 1-6.
I'm going to NCSY tomorrow night. I originally did not plan on going because none of my other friends were going, but one friend who I don't see very often said that she was going and wanted me to come. Naturally, I said I'd sign up to spend some time with her because nobody else I knew was going. That was two weeks ago. I get a phone call from my friend three days before the convention saying that she decided not to go. I'm already signed up, and I'm thinking "WHAT THE FUCK? I SIGN UP BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING, AND NOW YOU'RE STANDING ME UP? COME ON!"
I hate it when your friends ditch you.
So now I'm going to a convention where I don't know anybody. This hasn't happened since I was in fifth grade.
Shoot me. Please.
I'm off to go pack.

Love on the Tree-Lined Street

2008-05-18T13:12:00.002-05:00

At the tree-lined street with young spring leaves
When I first saw that person
Something rang within my heart
Without thinking or moving, I watched him leave

During the summer that glowed with gold
He showed off his prefect somersault for me
At the tree-lined street of memories
We gazed at each other as the autumn days drifted by

But still, that person
Did not say a word to me
Even though I loved him so
More than my heart can express in words
He left me silently
My first love

Whirlpools, Freud, and Typing

2008-05-16T09:34:00.003-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear:"Shining!"-Chieco Kawabe

Apparently, I need to stop typing with the two-finger system. First dad comments on it, then my business law teacher, and now my friend. It's not my fault I never had time in my schedule for keyboarding class! I got a program for learning proper typing for a holiday gift a few years back, but I never quite liked typing with both hands, it was too hard and too slow. GAWD.
Since mum is away, I have been busier than ever, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the monsters I call my little siblings. Being mommy is no fun. X_X
Good news is: I got signed up for the NCSY convention. Bad news is: Dad said that I cannot attend unless I clean my room. Thanks for treating my like a 10-year old, Pops. >_>
The whole later-nighter deal that I went through earlier in the weak is starting to kick in. I fell asleep in Psychology yesterday, but it's okay because it was a stupid boring PBS video about Freud, and FREUD WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS NOODLE. I justify my falling asleep to that. :D
I had the weirdest dream last night: I was on a rock in the middle of an endless ocean, and the ocean had whirlpools on every part, so if you touched it, you would be dead meat. I saw my dad standing on a rock a few feet away, telling me to jump to his rock. I try to to jump, and as I fall into the water, I wake screaming. I have never been so scared before, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. It all felt so real and somehow I couldn't tell it was merely a dream. Maybe it means I need more sleep. Maybe Freud is taking revenge on me for not watching the video about his crazy theories.
Eye Dee Kay. :D

Missing Mama

2008-05-14T09:23:00.002-05:00

Erik: Ling Ling, you're a panda.
Me: I am not a panda, pandas are fat.
Erik: Okay, you're a skinny panda.
...and that's how my mornings start. Third hour business law: gotta love it!
I actually finished that gigantic iSearch paper, but I sacrificed my sleep and sanity for it. The things I will do for a good grade....
Mum arrived in Denmark alright this morning, which means that I am the new offical chef/babysitter/maid for a while. I hope she did not expect to come home to find the house as she left it. X_x I miss mama.
Considering I have nothing much to say, and my little brother is nagging me for the computer, I will go do some laundry...

Nightmare Dance

2008-05-13T16:51:00.004-05:00

A sweet fragrance is being sown in sleep.
The color of strong poison is vivid.
Going astray, it forgets that it cannot escape.
The inner dream is sending pheromones,
showing the raise of a nightmare.

Transformations of dreams and crisis are unrestricted.
Coming and going,
They print our past and future.
Seeking and looking,
They see a person's heart: manipulated and bound.

A sweet fragrance is being sown in sleep.
The impression of bad poison is firm.
In addition to wanting a one-time failure,
it becomes the remain of stamen.
Filling up with pheromones,
showing the raise of a nightmare.

Nightmare
Nightmare
Nightmare...

Mother's Day and Mucho Problems (RANT TIME!)

2008-05-12T09:50:00.006-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear: "Time Machine" by The Click Five
I'm finding out the inevitable truth: school sucks.
I spent a month working on a my iSearch paper just to find that I have to redo the entire thing from the beginning. Oh, and did I mention that I only have about a day to do it?
Someone shoot me. Please.
Other than that, this weekend was spent with grandma and mum, putting up with their "fascinating" commentary on why I'm not girly enough and need to be more feminine.
Grandma: Sweetheart, you have a boy's figure.
Me: Grandma, DID YOU NOT SEE THE BOOBS?
Mom: But you dress like a 17 year-old boy when you're a 16 year-old girl!
Me: ...and?
Mom and Grandma: STOP IT! WE DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO BE A Y-CHROMOSOMED CAVEMAN!
Thanks guys. I like Grey's Anatomy, isn't that girly enough for you? Puh-leeeeaze.
At least I have the NCSY convention to look forward to next week, although I feel guilty that the only convention I ever have time for is the last one. >_> I can't wait to see all my peeps, though!
I haven't added anything to my novel in three months. THREE WHOLE EFFING MONTHS! Not a page, not a paragraph, not even a word! That's a long time to go without writing anything. The problem is a lack of time, a lack of interest, a lack of inspiration, or a combination of the three.
Oh, and I accidentally wrote my entire Earth Science Lab in Danish/Spanish/Hebrew, which means I am not getting sufficient sleep. Gosh darnit.
Can't I do anything correctly anymore?
Where be my time machine? I'm going back to where everything made sense in my life.

Eyes For The Moon

2008-05-07T18:12:00.001-05:00

We make quarreling voices, once again I mumble in the night
I've lost my singing voice, I'm fading away

Demons from the reverse side of kindness are beckoning me
I didn't have a single intention of hurting you

On this street corner I can't get used to
I crouched at my tears' whereabouts

I held up in my arms a mirage of
A face suited to smile
For no reason, I felt I could protect you
Back then

EYES FOR THE MOON

From here I'm walking all alone
We can't be together anymore
I can't wait for tomorrow

Now I know they won't come true
These illusions people named dreams

What I broke must've been our memories and your heart...
If I could turn back the clock needle just a little
Was I beside you..

The noise of the night disgraces me
Your sweet voice
The guardrail, a sight in this town, Ah just once more
I want to see you I want to see you

I'm enchanted by this mirage
Pretending to be blind to these wounds
I have to forget, I can't forget, I wish

I held up in my arms a mirage of
A face suited to smile
For no reason, I felt I could protect you
Back then

EYES FOR THE MOON

New Colors

2008-05-06T16:43:00.002-05:00

Another flower petal gets torn off again,
Because I don't have the power to stop the wind,
It floats to the opposite bank where you broke down in tears
As my only farewell gift
It's alright if you forget the promise we made that day

I walk a single step past this love
Why is everything tore off like this
A trail of stardust streams down again
Because I don't have the power to stop time
Don't lift up prayers, only one will do
It's alright if you wish for your own happiness

I allowed a pain of the same color
I blame it on mistakes of a different color
A light of that same color burns
Hiding a door of another color

Now, for your sake, a faded flower falls down
Now, for your sake, a faded star falls down
In that dream, good night

One more spoon in this unfillable love
Why does everything drive me mad like this
I feel a squall coming down on me on the streetcorner
Because there's no umbrella to protect from wounds
Don't look for ways out, only one will do
It's alright if you search for your own happiness

I engrave with a rhythm of the same color
I erase footsteps of a different color
I draw a scenery of that same color
And locked up a season of another color

Now, for your sake, a faded night comes to an end
Now, for your sake, a morning of a new color will come
In that dream, good night

SWEET DREAMS, BABY
SWEET DREAMS, BABY

If someday we meet again somewhere
Would we start over? Is there a place to continue from?
We outdistanced the times we couldn't reset
Don't cry, kindness and weaknesses are not the same thing

I allowed a pain of the same color
I blame it on mistakes of a different color
A light of that same color burns
Hiding a door of another color

Now, for your sake, a flower of a new color blooms
Now, for your sake, a star of a new color falls down
In that dream, good night
SWEET DREAMS, BABY
SWEET DREAMS, BABY

My Place

2008-04-30T16:35:00.003-05:00

It's the last day of April. I liked April. I'll miss April.
And with that said...HELLO MONTH OF MAY! :D In Spanish class, we're celebratig Cinco de Mayo on May sixth. Go figure.
This means that there are only about seven weeks left of school until summer holiday! My heart is going doki-doki just thinking about it!
I've decided to try my hand at bento box lunch making. I always wanted to make them, but I never found the time or equipment. After thought and research, I found that just using some Tupperware works just as well as buying a bento box. Plus, Tupperware is washable! :D
For me, today was just one of those days where you wake up crabby and end up yelling at everyone (and feeling guilty about it later). As much as I'd love to rant, I'm short on time, so I'll just type up my latest poem.

There is a special place only for me,
hidden from the world, standing in the mist.
My secret hideaway which no soul can see,
Vast and green, its valley spreads out wide,
my hideout's rivers sparkling like liquid sapphire,
there are tall strong trees with birds inside.
My hidden place is private, I can stay there to think,
I run through the white sand carelessly,
From the forest berries I feast and the clean water I drink.
My little piece of heaven shines high,
with a beautiful sun, a motherly moon,
and bright white clouds in an endless summer sky.
I can't remember how I found this land at all,
the lush landscape is always cloaked,
yet I have come to this valley since I was quite small.
I cannot tell nor can I show,
anyone of this miniature Eden,
For if I do, tragic events shall fall as you could never know.
Anyone can come to my hidden place,
they only need believe,
faith must be hard this days, for no other soul hath shown his face.
This land carries a magic spell,
it gives you the power to understand,
but I cannot express what lessons I learned,
in language, words do not always tell.
Should you wish to visit, you need complete a deed,
you must plant goodness in your fellow man,
a great tree of kindness sprouts from one seed.
So as I lay in the grassy flat,
I wonder who else dwelled here,
this paradise may be the spot where wise old Solomon sat.
But this land is mine, for myself alone,
I come here often, I claimed it as my territory,
this vibrant scenery has become my home.
Should you pass through, do not be scared,
this place of beauty can be shared,
you need only be prepared.

Zombies, Bagels, and Moonflowers

2008-04-28T09:26:00.005-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear:"Unwell"-Matchbox 20
There is nothing more satisfying than eating chametz after a whole week of matzah. I swear, I have never been so happy to eat a bagel in my life.
I love the fact that everyone who went to prom is essentially brain dead today. The school is full of walking zombies, a couple of my friends included. Makes me feel even better about not going. Next year I plan on going to prom with my friends if there isn't a Jewish holiday in the way.
For English class I had to read "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller. On Friday, I was on page 87 of 463. By Sunday, I had finished the entire thing. That's right. I read 376 pages in a timespan of about two and a half days, which is an accomplishment considering that the book has no plot/storyline or chronological order. Take THAT, organized education!
Mum has the brilliant idea of sending me to spend my summer at an all-girl's Chabad camp in Panama. She wants me to practice my Spanish instead of spending my summer with the family back in Vikingland/Denmark. That is one idea I actually agree with. Mum's going there in a couple of weeks or so, which means we're not obligated to see them for another three years or so. Plus, my uncle canceled his trip to come here with my little cousins, whom I cannot stand. Pretty sweet deal, huh?
Our tulips finally decided to come up, which means Mum will go on another planting spree. She said something about me digging up flower beds. T_T I want to plant some moonflowers because they are just made of awesome: gigantic petals, "magical properties", vine-like behavior, what's not to love?
Meh, not much more to jabber about. I'm off to work on that white collar crime project for Business Law

Matzah Madness

2008-04-23T18:49:00.003-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear:"Triple Dreams"-SeraMyu
Funny how time flies by when you're watching people get drunk at the seder...
A lot of funny stuff has happened since I posted: I got stabbed in the arm with a fork (and bled), got my first B+ instead of an A in Spanish, watched the sun rise backwards, accidentally answered my teacher in Swedish, sneezed out lemonade, and got my matzah stolen from me at lunch. Oye peoples...GET YOUR OWN MATZAH, THIS SHEET'S MINE BITCHES! >:o
Ugh, I can't wait for summer...
Well, spending four days straight with my family made me realize how crazy they really are. How many of YOUR relatives tell you that putting a fish skeleton under your pillow is lucky? I can't remember a minute during the entire holiday that my brothers weren't fighting with each other or trying to fight with me. As insane as they might be, they make me look normal, so I love 'em. :D Gotta love the holidays...
Geez, you miss ONE day of school and end up super-behind! I have to catch up on like 30 pages of reading in history, 6 workbook pages in Spanish, a science lab, a math test, a vocabulary test, and my isearch paper. The paper has been driving me crazy, I didn't think ahead when I set my deadlines and now I'm scrambling to finish. >_> I hate school.
The only thing I hate about Passover is the lack of edibles. I usually find stuff to snack on, but this year we've cut on the goodies. T_T It's my parent's secret way of making me diet... DIET IS 'DIE' WITH A 'T' AT THE END! I'M NOT FAT!
...am I?

Sweet Sixteen

2008-04-14T08:52:00.005-05:00

What's Playing In My Ear:"Dance, Dance"-Fall Out Boy
Birthdays rock.
Period.
My friend called me at 6-ish in the AM, I got a kung-fu card from my cousin, had awesome birthday balloons, and found out that I don't have a twin.
I love turning sixteen.
Except when you have a test on volcanic activity on the same day that you were too busy to study for. Oh well, to heck with Earth Science.
I decided that for my birthday I would straighten my hair, put in my contacts, and brush on a bit of makeup, but I did not think that people would have trouble recognizing me. I waved to a group of my friends in the hall, and they had no clue who I was. Geez, am I THAT ugly on a daily basis?
After school, Mum and Dad took me for Japanese birthday lunch. Tempura, sushi, udon soup, mochi.... I was in heaven. Mum and I spent the rest of the day at the mall shopping. She wanted me to pick something out for my birthday, but fashion these days is just horrifying. It's as if the fashion designers want you to look like you dressed in the dark. These clothes would make a blind gay man go "Oh, dear CHRIST!" I still had fun with Mum anyways, we don't spend nearly enough time together.
Since my secular birthday was a half day, I brought in treats today for my Judaic birthday. I figured out how to bake cookies without harming anyone in the process, so I brought some of those for everybody. Erin brought me awesome balloons, and I went through the whole day on cloud nine. :D
Turning sixteen is überly-awesome

Fight Song

2008-04-09T18:58:00.002-05:00

Always being your same old self is good.
It's also a better thing to not ask, "Why?"
Will you restart from there again?
This is the thing that really suits you the most.

A person is a person, and you are yourself.
If you try and compare to something else, then you will lose.
In ourselves we have the strength to never lose,
So no matter what type of wall it is, we will break through.

Occasionally, it's good to cry.
And it's okay for people to see your weak spot too.
But, don't get stuck there!
You can still do it, go for that dream you had before.

No matter how many words you say,
Only one word can be the best of all.
The first thing to do is step forward for yourself,
"Do your best" Even being that type of cheap guy is okay.

Even now, you might be worried about something,
Because it might be something that has been dented.
But, somewhere in the future with you,
We can laugh in agreement, we can make that path.

No matter how many words you say,
Only one word can be the best of all.
Come out from under that high place and continue up that slope.

Even now, you might be worried about something,
Because it might be something that has been dented.
After finally taking one step, you could start to walk again, couldn't you?
"Do your best" You see, it's really a suitable reason.

For The Love of...Grass?....

2008-04-07T15:33:00.004-05:00

What's Playing in My Ear: "Nine In The Afternoon"-Panic at the Disco

You know what is bothering me at the moment? It really annoys the heck out of me, even though it's a completely random and pointless topic. Panic at the Disco got rid of the exclamation point after "Panic." What's up with that? MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEOPLE! IS THERE AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHIN YOUR RANKS?
Back to my scheduled rant...
This weekend, the snow FINALLY melted completely! I have never in my life been so happy to see grass. It's a lot like the time we were on that ferry in Sweden, and, well....you can imagine the rest.
It was nice to finally open the windows and go outside again! I wanted to go on a bike ride because the weather was so nice, but I ended up getting nabbed for a babysitting job instead. I babysat for a three-year old girl, twin two year-old boys, and a 1 year-old girl ALL AT ONCE. My head is still recovering from the pain. At least they paid well. The things I do for cash...
Everyone's all abuzz about prom here nowadays. I got asked by a couple of guys, but I don't want to go to prom this year. It's not a sophomore dance, and I would feel out of place. Plus, prom ain't cheap; between the dress, the tickets, and the side costs, it's insane. I'll go next year with my friends, that seems like much more fun.
I still have no clue what I'm doing this summer, but going to Denmark isn't an option at this point. As much as I love going back, there are to many issues at the moment that conflict with the idea. There's really nothing left for me there except problems that I cannot solve.
We took a disorders test in psychology today, and apparently I suffer from both narcissism and low self-esteem. How the hell does that work? Even my teacher was baffled....stupid falsified internet test.
Ugh, my feet are both asleep. I forgot how much something as stupid as sleeping limbs can hurt. I'm going to go take advantage of the nice weather and take a walk.

Vacation Smells Like Hamantaschen

2008-03-25T02:43:00.004-05:00

What's Playing in My Ear: "Happiness"-Arashi
VACATION RULES. PERIOD.
I get to sleep in, stay up late, bake whenever I want, and write to my heart's desire....right?
WRONG.
I get to clean and organize the pantry, write my i-Search, clean my room, fix the dressers, and put up with dear old mum and dad for a whole week straight.
Fabulous.
Well, at least Purim was awesome. Jonas Brothers costumes were the best ones I've ever made yet. One of my more brilliant ideas, if I do say so myself. (Except for the part where every pre-teen and, even teenage, girl in the shul commenced to chase us down for pictures.) Not one of my more brilliant ideas.
Well, it was fun nonetheless, my brother was home, I spent some time with the community, I made fun of my least favorite boy band, hung out with old friends, and I got to eat triangular pastries filled with jam.
What could be better?
Mum's agreed to give another try at teaching me to cook over vacation, so I'm a little excited about that prospect. Although, most of my cooking attempts were not as successful as I'd hoped. We had the onigiri incident, the snow peas accident, and nobody could forget the ginger snaps FROM HELL.
Let's hope I've lost my accident-prone streak in the kitchen.
Needless to say, all this craziness leaves little room for getting anything done that I honestly want to accomplish, but I can't expect too much from myself. All I really want is a bit of R & R, a chance to recharge from all the insanity that's been happening to me lately.
I just can't take any more freaking snow. I'm going insane. I need some natural scenery. One of these days I'm going to take a blowtorch to all the white stuff and just melt all of it.
I'm not kidding. A blowtorch.

People Are Getting Drunk At 6 AM Today?

2008-03-17T16:44:00.004-05:00

What's playing in my ear:"Knockin' Down Hesitation"-Anza Ōyama

.....Let's just say, I'm glad I'm Jewish. Our holidays are kind of nutty, but this is insane.
[Which reminds me, I need to get cracking on that Purim costume. My friends and I are going as the Jonas Brothers. Heh heh.... (Please, if you know what's good for you, don't ask.)]
I DID wear green today (my jade ring) because I didn't feel like fending off pokes and pinches and whatnot.
Let's see... Today I learned that I can't draw, that Lisa will punch you if you sing the 'Circle Circle Dot Dot' song, and that some things are best left unsaid.
I met this kid who's mum works with a publishing company who would be interested in looking at my book! Now I actually have a chance of getting my work out there. 'Bout time, if you ask me. The other day, a friend of mine got considerably upset because I didn't show my book to her. Look people, this stuff doesn't have a copyright quite yet, and I can't risk anyone stealing my hard-thought ideas. Sorry if I offend you, but I can't be too careful.
Funny thing, at the beginning of the school year, almost all my friends were dating someone except me. Now, they've all broken up with their boyfriends. That means that I'm going out with someone within the next month or two! (It's the way our whole mystical cycle works with the fates and destiny and all that jazz. Unless you sat at my lunch table last year, you won't get it, so don't ask.) But if not, I'm perfectly okay being single. There's no immediate need for a boyfriend at the moment.
I have a piano recital in a month or so, but I HATE recitals. My teacher knows that I don't enjoy recitals, but she always puts me in them anyway. I don't preform well in front of crowds when it comes to piano. But I'm not playing anything too complicated (Hungarian Waltz, FIRE, and Hikari)
Better get working..... "Fire, Fire, FIRE!" :D

π!

2008-03-14T15:57:00.006-05:00

What's playing in my ear: "Blurry Eyes"-L'Arc~en~Ciel

Ah... The weekend: a chance to get some sleep, squeeze in some writing, and get together with friends.
YEAH RIGHT.
This weekend's going to stink, because my friend canceled on me, I have a load of homework, and I have to get up early.
SHOOT ME.
Well, it's nothing a little pie couldn't solve! π Day is the only thing I truly enjoy when it comes to mathematics. Come on people it's pie, what's not to like? (Which reminds me that I left some brownies in the oven...) Plus, π Day means that my birthday is only a month away! Sweet Sixteen!
In Business Law, we have been discussing identity theft, so Erik and I obviously commenced a discussion regarding who's identity we'd steal.
Erik: So, who'd you want to be?
Me: Chuck Norris.
Erik: I don't think you could get away with that. He pretty much runs the WHOLE FREAKING WORLD.
Me: Okay then, Mr T!
Heh heh
"I pity da foo'!"
I'd better go check on those brownies..... >_>
HAPPY ∏ DAY!

Crash and BURN

2008-03-12T17:54:00.004-05:00

What's playing in my ear: "Te Busqué"-Nelly Furtado w/ Juanes

Wow...... I'm bad at keeping a blog, aren't I?
Geez, sophomore year is almost over, and my last post was from June. I need to stay on top of this blog thing. Not much has changed. I'm still your favorite anime-obsessed, soy-loving, slightly hyper writer. I've gotten at least 15 pages of my book written since my last post. I know that's not very much, but give me a break! I'M A BUSY WOMAN, PEOPLE!
I'm still not sure exactly what I want to do this summer. I was considering an NCSY program, but now I'm not so sure 'bout that. I wanted to do an AFS summer program, but my parents aren't so hot on the idea of me spending my summer in Hong Kong. (Come on, mum and dad!) Likely case scenario: I end up as a camp counselor again. "Why would you do that, you fool?" you may ask. Well...
1) I have almost no other productive pastimes for my summer
2) I have come to like kids a bit more than last year
3) I need the money.
Th'ar ye are. REASONS. But if them kids bite me again, I quit.
I'm serious.
But other than that, not much else is new. I did get accepted as a member of a fan-dub type project called SMU. So far, I don't have an actual role yet because they have a lot of female members, but I'm in no rush. These things take time.
Well, that's my life in a nutshell at the moment.

Drift Away

2007-06-13T13:16:00.000-05:00

What's Playing in My Ear: "Makes Me Wonder"- Maroon 5

Long time no post, eh?
Overall, I have to say that freshman year was amazing. Much better than I expected at first. I made so many friends, and learned a lot about life and how long it takes to piss off Randy by poking at his bangs. :D
It feels like ages that I was a scared little eighth grader standing outside the school doors, my hair flowing in the September wind, not knowing what to expect once I entered inside, and yet, it seems like it was only yesterday at the same time. I've really grown from this experience and I feel like a changed person for the better. I'm a froshmore! XD
School's out for the summer as of 10:40, and I quote Loiben "...It feels pretty damn good." I'm not quite sure what I'm going to be doing. Probably drivers ed. and being a bit of a lump. >_> Maybe I'll be a camp counselor again and get rabies from all of the little kids that find it's funny to bite me! X_x
I want to get some more writing in now that I have all of this free time to spare. It doesn't necessarily have to be my novel, but maybe a few poems and stuff like that. It'd also be helpful to brush up on my cooking skills. The last time I cooked something, the fire department didn't even bother coming. I know everyone there on a first-name basis...
Enjoy your freedom! Love you all!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX (multiply all those by 999,999,999,999,999)
~Mara

Zzzyx :D

2007-03-25T19:05:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a while..... o.O
Life's been dandy, I guess. Still suffering from 3rd quarter depression, and man, did this week SUCK. My grades seemed to be slipping, a few of my friends denounced me as a "traitor", my social/love life was a messy time bomb waiting to explode, and in short: My life just seemed to be falling apart before my eyes. All I can say is: thank god for the weekend.
Most of my negative energy's been devoted to either piano or writing. Even if my English teacher says that my work is a load of crap, I'm still going to write. My novel's already at it's 43rd page of the second draft, and I'm not about to abandon it. I'm also working on a nocturne for my spring recital, I don't intend on walking up and looking like I can't play. I wouldn't call myself the next Beethoven, but I play pretty well. :D
In the past few months, I've found that I truly take joy in taking pictures and video of the people I love. I'm no filmmaker, but I find beauty in simple everyday moments of my life with friends. Who knows how much time I have left with them. I'm trying to take life as it comes, rolling with the punches. As Jack Dawson said in Titanic: "Life's one big poker game. You never know what hand you'll be dealt next."
~Mara

Nos Coeurs Sont Unis...

2007-02-06T13:20:00.000-06:00

He makes my heart go aflutter
He causes my knees to go limp
He makes me lose control of what I say
He causes the hairs on the back of my neck to prick up in ecstasy
His scent stops me dead in my tracks, he smells of vanilla, spice, and pine
His step is light, but his presence is overwhelming
His legs are sleek and strong, but willing to dance with me
His body is slender, but strong enough to melt my heart
His chest is broad, but he allows me to fall asleep on it
His arms are powerful and mighty, but gentle enough to embrace me with
His hands are well-worked, but tender enough to pull back a wisp of my stray hair
His lips are soft when we kiss, yet strong when he speaks
His smile is warm and caring, but confident and brave as well
His eyes are like two glistening emeralds, but ablaze with passionate fire when gazing into mine
His hair is soft and smooth, yet wild and unpredictable
Whenever we touch, I feel a spark of joy shoot through my body
We are one
~Mara

生命は微風である (Life is a Breeze)

2007-01-25T15:34:00.000-06:00

Good god, I haven't posted in a long time... Happy New Year? >_<>__> I love my friends...
I was just watching Titanic today, and I cried AGAIN. TTTTTTT_______TTTTTT It's just sooooo sad! I can't help it! Every time I see it, I hope that the ship won't sink, but it still does, and I always go "nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!" It's so depressing...
I still can't believe that four months have passed so quickly, time is just slipping through my hands like water. It feels like only yesterday that it was September 6, and I was scared senseless at the thought of entering a public school for the first time. Pretty soon, it'll be summer again, and I hope not to forgot everything I have learned. Being with my new friends in a new school, and being happy here, it just doesn't seem real. I've never felt this happy before, and I've never felt so alive. I don't remember the last time I ever had this much fun. Some roller coaster of life, eh? It feels like I'm in a gigantic dream. Well, this is one dream I hope that I never have to wake up from!
~Mara

Meep?

2006-12-28T18:18:00.000-06:00

It's almost the end of December, and I have one thing to say: WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE SNOW!? It's like, bare here. It reminds me of winters in Denmark, and trust me, winter there is sucky. No snow in Wisconsin is like, messed up. Anyhoo, winter vacation reading is going okay, I'm already halfway done. Great Expectations is one of the most boring books I've read in ages. NEVER read it unless you are forced to at gunpoint.
A friend of mine says that she'll teach me Bulgarian. (Just to add to my randomness XD) And if you add that to my current language roster, you get:
English
Hebrew
Japanese
Spanish
Bulgarian
YAYZ! XD Sorry if I'm rambling a bit, I don't have much to say. ........GO DUCKS!.....
~Mara

Une Chose Originale... (One Original Thing)

2006-12-27T22:10:00.000-06:00

As you can tell by the title, my latest language obsession is French. I've even changed my ipod settings to display everything in French.
I officially am a "Loozer with a capital 'C'" as my friend Melli would say. xD
My parents still won't let me buy a laptop with my Bat Mitzvah money, and I've run out of ideas. Eh, at least I have that babysitting job on Saturday night to get more cash for the "I need new shoes" fund. xD
I have a Facebook account now, so I can now keep in touch with old friends. I'm sure that some of them either:
Forgot me
Wanted to forget me
Remember me
XDDD
Winter break is fun, but I have to read 'Great Expectations.' Dickens is boring. Period. Meh, what more can I say? Life is life!
~Mara

Merri Kurismasu! ^_^

2006-12-25T23:12:00.000-06:00

Yes, it's that time again... Doesn't make much of a difference to me, considering the fact that I'm Jewish. We had Chinese takeout. >_>
But I have found a way to combat that dreaded 'D' from my math test. I got an 'A' on my last quiz, so if I pass another one, my grade will be brought up! I just gotta work hard!
I saw Pirates of the Caribbean for the first time. x_x Yes, I'm aware of how pathetic I am. I had never seen it, and didn't want to get into it merely because of the popularity. But now that the commotion has died down, and I've seen it, I found that it was quite a film to behold! I love Johnny Depp and Orlie, ~KYUU! XD
I was watching the Quill Awards (Like the Academy Awards, but for books) and Eldest won for 'Best Young Adult!' I was like "YEEEEAAAAHHAAAWWW!!" Paolini (the author/my inspiration) got up and gave his whole shpiel. Watching him talk onstage is really funny for me, because I got to meet him for an interview once, and he read to us in Dwarvish! xD
Naruto got 'Best Graphic Novel,' but seeing as I've never read it, I wasn't too thrilled.
Anyhoo, Happy Holidays, peace on earth and all that jazz. "Savvy?" XDD
~Mara

ほうき星 (Houkiboshi)

2006-12-19T18:24:00.000-06:00

"My life is falling apart."
~Dennis, "Dennis The Menace"
I got a 'D' on that math test. Life sucks. T_T At least I can get the extra credit points. I got to see Eragon last Saturday, and I must say; OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! ~KYAAAA!!! XDDD Lol. I'm such a rapid fangirl. Life goes on, I've gotta go study for the World Studies test.
~Mara
P.S Is 'Forthwith' a real word?